Today's giggle
#1301
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Two blonds want to go fishing, so they rent a boat from the fish camp and go out into the lake. Things go well and they catch a lot of fish, one blond says to the other, "We need to mark this spot so we can come back another time." The other blond thinks this is a good idea and decides to lean over the side of the boat and put a big "X" on the side of the boat. First blond says, "Wait! you can't do that, it wont help us find the same spot next time!" Second blond says, "Why not?" First blond says, "Because we may not get the same boat next time!!!"
#1302
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A police officer attempts to stop a car for speeding and the guy gradually increases his speed until he's topping 100 mph. He eventually realizes he can't escape and finally pulls over. The cop approaches the car and says, "It's been a long day and my tour is almost over, so if you can give me a good excuse for your behavior, I'll let you go." The guy thinks for a few seconds and then says, "My wife ran away with a cop about a week ago. I thought you might be that officer trying to give her back!"
#1304
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: Republic of Boon Island
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A man placed some flowers on the grave of his dearly departed mother and started
back toward his car when his attention was diverted to another man kneeling at a
grave.
The man seemed to be praying with profound intensity and kept crying out loudly,
Why did you have to die? Why did you have to die?"
The first man approached him and said, "Sir, I don't wish to interfere with your
private grief, but this demonstration of pain is more than I've ever seen
before. For whom do you mourn so deeply? A child? A parent?"
The mourner took a moment to collect himself, then replied,
"My wife's first husband."
back toward his car when his attention was diverted to another man kneeling at a
grave.
The man seemed to be praying with profound intensity and kept crying out loudly,
Why did you have to die? Why did you have to die?"
The first man approached him and said, "Sir, I don't wish to interfere with your
private grief, but this demonstration of pain is more than I've ever seen
before. For whom do you mourn so deeply? A child? A parent?"
The mourner took a moment to collect himself, then replied,
"My wife's first husband."
#1305
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There was an elderly couple who hooked up in an old folks home. At their advanced age, their idea of sex was laying naked in bed while the old woman held onto the old man's unit. This was quite satisfying for them.
Until one day.
The old woman was shuffling down the hallway with her walker, when she looked into an open doorway. 'Lo and behold she spied her gentleman friend laying in bed naked with another woman and the other woman was holding onto the old man's unit.
The old woman says, "What does she have, that I don't have?"
The old man looked at her, smiled a big smile and said.
"Parkinson's"
Until one day.
The old woman was shuffling down the hallway with her walker, when she looked into an open doorway. 'Lo and behold she spied her gentleman friend laying in bed naked with another woman and the other woman was holding onto the old man's unit.
The old woman says, "What does she have, that I don't have?"
The old man looked at her, smiled a big smile and said.
"Parkinson's"
Last edited by wooferdog; 10-16-2012 at 02:29 AM.
#1310