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Today's giggle

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  #801  
Old 03-09-2011, 02:25 AM
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Best wishes Pete.
I've also had a weird few days with strange unexpected/bad things happening but thankfully not resulting in personal injury.
I feel for you. Apart from the recovery period there's the repairs to the ute to deal with too. So pointless when you consider that the guy/gal who shunted into you could have just been keeping a bit more distance/looking where the **** they were going.

Anyway, heal fast friend. Let us know how you're getting on.

Steve, header practice on 3m long fence posts? Jeez you Ozzies are even harder than I thought. Hope the missus was home to put an ice pack on the lump when you finally woke up. Holy crap...... bad luck.
This thread has morphed into today's injury.
Quick....... someone tell a joke!
 
  #802  
Old 03-09-2011, 05:43 AM
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Get better Pete, that 'cane isn't going to ride itself!
 
  #803  
Old 03-09-2011, 05:47 AM
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hey pete

get better. we need you around here!
 
  #804  
Old 03-09-2011, 12:32 PM
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Thanks for the good wishes boys - herewith a couple of jokes I picked up along the way......


What's the difference between a banker and terrorist?
Terrorists **** up the world for free.

What's funnier than a female comedian?
Everything.


My wife was doing a crossword and (as expected) she asked for help. "An office worker" she said "9 letters, beginning with 'S'."

"What gender?" I asked.

She was confused and esked "What bloody difference does that make?"

To which I replied promptly, "If it's male it's solicitor, if it's female it's secretary."

Nice to see those guys at Arsenal F.C giving up trophies for lent.


Trying to find a fit bird at the pub is similar to Mini Golf.

You want to get to the perfect hole but your ***** always end up bouncing off some hippo's teeth.
 
  #805  
Old 03-09-2011, 04:58 PM
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Nice Pete.


What's the difference between Iron Man and iron woman?


The first is a movie, the second's a simple command!


Jeez, I hope Kath doesn't spot this one.
 
  #806  
Old 03-09-2011, 08:21 PM
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Boom Boom ......right Basil ?

so

After a car crash one of the drivers is lying injured at the side of the road. 'Don't worry,' said the policeman, a Red Cross nurse is coming to attend to you.'
Oh no,' groaned the victim, 'couldn't I have a blonde, cheerful one?'

Okay so it's pathetic

so one more

There was once a small snail who always dreamed of becoming a race-car driver. One day he heard that an uncle of his had died and left him some money! Now his dream could be realized! He bought himself a car, souped it up, and then painted a large red "S" on it. When he was at his first race, a friend of his asked him why he had painted the big red "S" on the car? Simple, the snail replied when people see my car go zooming down the, track I want them all to exclaim: Oh look!! See the S car go!!!!!!!!!!!!

Geddit ? bwwaaaahaahaaaa ........ see ya next month
 

Last edited by Sprock; 03-09-2011 at 08:27 PM.
  #807  
Old 03-10-2011, 03:55 AM
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Jeez Sprock,
I bet you can actually see the bottom of the barrel after scraping those out.


Franchise Opportunity.

A mate has just started his own business.

He manufactures land-mines that look like prayer mats.

It's doing well. He says prophets are going through the roof!
 
  #809  
Old 03-17-2011, 04:18 PM
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Why do women always slap poor little old leprechauns in the face ?

Because they're always telling them how nice their hair smells
 
  #810  
Old 03-17-2011, 10:54 PM
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Default Got sent this a couple of days ago

Friday afternoon, and I've only just got round to watching it. I'm still smiling; I want one of these.

YouTube - Shonky and the SoundRacer V8
 


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