The CSIR has discovered the heaviest element yet known to science.


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The new element is Governmentium (Gv). It has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312.


These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lefton-like particles called peons.


Since Governmentium has no electrons or protons, it is inert. However, it can be detected, because it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact.


A tiny amount of Governmentium can cause a reaction normally taking less than a second to take from four days to four years to complete.



Governmentium has a normal half-life of 2- 6 years. It does not decay but instead undergoes a reorganisation in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places.


In fact, Governmentium's mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganisation will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes.


This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to believe that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a critical concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as critical morass.


When catalysed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium, an element that radiates just as much energy as Governmentium since it has half as many peons but twice as many morons. All of the money is consumed in the exchange, and no other byproducts are produced.

 

Also see, Greenspan's Law.

Any issue so important that it requires action by Congress is eventually deemed irrelevant by time

 

^ Rofl!

 

Right!

Shadow's post would be funny if that element wasn't lightening our pockets as we speak

 

 

This might raise a chuckle

 

Hilarious Steve. Thanks for that one.
Very clever set-up.

 

Seen that from the telly a couple of times. Funny stuff...

 

I was chatting to this woman in the pub last night and telling her of my uncanny ability to be able to tell the day any woman was born by holding their breasts in my hands.
She thought I was having her on but was curious none the less.
Eventually curiosity got the better of her and she said go on then, give it a go!
I stood there feeling her breasts for about a minute before she could contain herself no longer and asked
"When was I born then?"
I replied...









































"Yesterday"


Cheers, SB

 

buzinga !!!