Today's giggle
Super Moderator
Joined: May 2012
Posts: 4,647
Likes: 35
Fancy dress turtle.......
Bloke goes to a fancy dress party with a woman on his back.
His mates ask "What have you come as"?
Bloke: "A tortoise"
Mates: "What's with the woman on your back"?
Bloke: "That's Michelle"
Cheers, SB
His mates ask "What have you come as"?
Bloke: "A tortoise"
Mates: "What's with the woman on your back"?
Bloke: "That's Michelle"
Cheers, SB
Getting cold down in Tassie?
Senior Member & Lord of The Man Cave
Joined: Dec 2009
Posts: 1,293
Likes: 2
From: St. Louis, MO
Ed and Nancy…
met while on a singles cruise and Ed fell head over heels for her.
When they discovered they lived in the same city only a few miles apart Ed was ecstatic. He immediately started asking her out when they got home.
Within a couple of weeks, Ed had taken Nancy to dance clubs, restaurants, concerts, movies, and museums. Ed became convinced that Nancy was indeed his soul mate and true love. Every date seemed better than the last.
On the one-month anniversary of their first dinner on the cruise ship, Ed took Nancy to a fine restaurant. While having cocktails and waiting for their salad, Ed said, "I guess you can tell I'm very much in love with you. I'd like a little serious talk before our relationship continues to the next stage. So, before I get a box out of my jacket and ask you a life changing question, it's only fair to warn you, I'm a total golf nut. I play golf; I read about golf, I watch golf on TV. In short, I eat, sleep, and breathe golf. If that's going to be a problem for us, you'd better say so now!"
Nancy took a deep breath and responded, "Ed that certainly won't be a problem. I love you as you are and I love golf too; but, since we're being totally honest with each other, you need to know that for the last five years I've been a hooker."
Ed replied, "I bet it's because you're not keeping your wrists straight when you hit the ball!
met while on a singles cruise and Ed fell head over heels for her.
When they discovered they lived in the same city only a few miles apart Ed was ecstatic. He immediately started asking her out when they got home.
Within a couple of weeks, Ed had taken Nancy to dance clubs, restaurants, concerts, movies, and museums. Ed became convinced that Nancy was indeed his soul mate and true love. Every date seemed better than the last.
On the one-month anniversary of their first dinner on the cruise ship, Ed took Nancy to a fine restaurant. While having cocktails and waiting for their salad, Ed said, "I guess you can tell I'm very much in love with you. I'd like a little serious talk before our relationship continues to the next stage. So, before I get a box out of my jacket and ask you a life changing question, it's only fair to warn you, I'm a total golf nut. I play golf; I read about golf, I watch golf on TV. In short, I eat, sleep, and breathe golf. If that's going to be a problem for us, you'd better say so now!"
Nancy took a deep breath and responded, "Ed that certainly won't be a problem. I love you as you are and I love golf too; but, since we're being totally honest with each other, you need to know that for the last five years I've been a hooker."
Ed replied, "I bet it's because you're not keeping your wrists straight when you hit the ball!
Super Moderator
Joined: May 2012
Posts: 4,647
Likes: 35
That's vegetabalist!
As is this one.....
Knock, Knock
Who’s there?
Lettuce
Lettuce Who?
Lettuce in and you’ll find out!
Cheers, SB
