Today's giggle
#171
#172
Tough Love vs. Spanking - Good Argument
It seems like most Americans thinks it improper to spank children, so I have tried other methods to control my kid when he has one of “those moments.”
One that I found effective is for me to just take the boy for a car ride and talk.Some say it's the vibration from the car, others say it's the time away from any distractions such as TV, Video Games, Computer, IPod, etc. and some say it is the alone time with his dad.
Either way, my kid usually calms down and stops misbehaving after our car ride together. Eye to eye contact helps a lot too.I've included a photo below of one of my sessions with my son, in case you would like to use the technique.
Sincerely,
A concerned father
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It seems like most Americans thinks it improper to spank children, so I have tried other methods to control my kid when he has one of “those moments.”
One that I found effective is for me to just take the boy for a car ride and talk.Some say it's the vibration from the car, others say it's the time away from any distractions such as TV, Video Games, Computer, IPod, etc. and some say it is the alone time with his dad.
Either way, my kid usually calms down and stops misbehaving after our car ride together. Eye to eye contact helps a lot too.I've included a photo below of one of my sessions with my son, in case you would like to use the technique.
Sincerely,
A concerned father
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Last edited by JHouse; 09-21-2009 at 04:39 PM.
#173
#176
#177
#179
The Moral of Auntie Sharon
A teacher gave her class of 11 year olds an assignment: To get their parent
to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it.
The next day the kids came back and one by one began to tell their stories.
Ashley said, 'My father's a farmer and we have a lot of egg-laying hens.
One time we were taking our eggs to market in a basket on the front seat of
the car when we hit a big bump in the road and all the eggs got broken.'
'What's the mora le of that story?' asked the teacher.
'Don't put all your eggs in one basket!'
'Very good,' said the teacher.
Next little Sarah raised her hand and said, 'Our family are farmers too.
But we raise chickens for the meat market. One day we had a dozen eggs, but
when they hatched we only got ten live chicks, and the moral to this story
is, 'Don't count your chickens before they're hatched'.'
'That was a fine story Sarah.'
Michael, do you have a story to share?'
'Yes. My daddy told me this story about my Aunty Sharon. Aunty Sharon was a
flight engineer on a plane in the Gulf War and her plane got hit.
She had to bail out over enemy territory and all she had was a bottle of
whisky, a machine gun and a machete.
She drank the whiskey on the way down so it wouldn't break and then she
landed right in the middle of 100 enemy troops.
She killed seventy of them with the machine gun until she
ran out of bullets.
Then she killed twenty more with the machete until the blade broke.
And then she killed the last ten with her bare hands.'
'Good heavens,' said the horrified teacher, 'what kind of moral did your
daddy tell you from that horrible story?'
'Stay the f ..... away from Aunty Sharon when she's been drinking.'
A teacher gave her class of 11 year olds an assignment: To get their parent
to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it.
The next day the kids came back and one by one began to tell their stories.
Ashley said, 'My father's a farmer and we have a lot of egg-laying hens.
One time we were taking our eggs to market in a basket on the front seat of
the car when we hit a big bump in the road and all the eggs got broken.'
'What's the mora le of that story?' asked the teacher.
'Don't put all your eggs in one basket!'
'Very good,' said the teacher.
Next little Sarah raised her hand and said, 'Our family are farmers too.
But we raise chickens for the meat market. One day we had a dozen eggs, but
when they hatched we only got ten live chicks, and the moral to this story
is, 'Don't count your chickens before they're hatched'.'
'That was a fine story Sarah.'
Michael, do you have a story to share?'
'Yes. My daddy told me this story about my Aunty Sharon. Aunty Sharon was a
flight engineer on a plane in the Gulf War and her plane got hit.
She had to bail out over enemy territory and all she had was a bottle of
whisky, a machine gun and a machete.
She drank the whiskey on the way down so it wouldn't break and then she
landed right in the middle of 100 enemy troops.
She killed seventy of them with the machine gun until she
ran out of bullets.
Then she killed twenty more with the machete until the blade broke.
And then she killed the last ten with her bare hands.'
'Good heavens,' said the horrified teacher, 'what kind of moral did your
daddy tell you from that horrible story?'
'Stay the f ..... away from Aunty Sharon when she's been drinking.'
#180
A Horse, A Chicken & A Harley:
On the farm lived a chicken and a horse, both of whom loved to play together.
One day the two were playing, when the horse fell into a bog and began to sink.
Scared for his life, the horse whinnied for the chicken to go get the farmer for help!
Off the chicken ran, back to the farm. Arriving at the farm, he searched and searched for the farmer, but to no avail, for he had gone to town with the only tractor.
Running around, the chicken spied the farmer's new Harley.
Finding the keys in the ignition, the chicken sped off with a length of rope hoping he still had time to save his friend's life.
Back at the bog, the horse was surprised, but happy, to see the chicken arrive on the shiny Harley, and he managed to get a hold of the loop of rope the chicken tossed to him.
After tying the other end to the rear bumper of the farmer's bike, the chicken then drove slowly forward and, with the aid of the powerful bike, rescued the horse!
Happy and proud, the chicken rode the Harley back to the farmhouse, and the farmer was none the wiser when he returned.
The friendship between the two animals was cemented: Best Buddies, Best Pals.
A few weeks later, the chicken fell into a mud pit, and soon, he too, began to sink and cried out to the horse to save his life!
The horse thought a moment, walked over, and straddled the large puddle.
Looking underneath, he told the chicken to grab his hangy-down thingy and he would then lift him out of the pit.
The chicken got a good grip, and the horse pulled him up and out, saving his life.
The moral of the story?
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'When You're Hung Like A Horse, You Don't Need A Harley to pull a chick...
On the farm lived a chicken and a horse, both of whom loved to play together.
One day the two were playing, when the horse fell into a bog and began to sink.
Scared for his life, the horse whinnied for the chicken to go get the farmer for help!
Off the chicken ran, back to the farm. Arriving at the farm, he searched and searched for the farmer, but to no avail, for he had gone to town with the only tractor.
Running around, the chicken spied the farmer's new Harley.
Finding the keys in the ignition, the chicken sped off with a length of rope hoping he still had time to save his friend's life.
Back at the bog, the horse was surprised, but happy, to see the chicken arrive on the shiny Harley, and he managed to get a hold of the loop of rope the chicken tossed to him.
After tying the other end to the rear bumper of the farmer's bike, the chicken then drove slowly forward and, with the aid of the powerful bike, rescued the horse!
Happy and proud, the chicken rode the Harley back to the farmhouse, and the farmer was none the wiser when he returned.
The friendship between the two animals was cemented: Best Buddies, Best Pals.
A few weeks later, the chicken fell into a mud pit, and soon, he too, began to sink and cried out to the horse to save his life!
The horse thought a moment, walked over, and straddled the large puddle.
Looking underneath, he told the chicken to grab his hangy-down thingy and he would then lift him out of the pit.
The chicken got a good grip, and the horse pulled him up and out, saving his life.
The moral of the story?
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V
V
V
V
'When You're Hung Like A Horse, You Don't Need A Harley to pull a chick...