a ha hah ha double LOL

 

Light likes to think it's the fastest thing in the universe, but wherever light goes darkness is there. Waiting for it.

 

True story;

My Grandfather: Witch is faster, hot or cold?

Me: I don't know.

My grandfather: It's much easier to catch a cold.

I really got nothing out of it. LOL

 

Sister Mary Katherine entered the Monastery of Silence. The Priest said: 'Sister, this is a silent monastery. You are welcome here as long as you like, but you may not speak until I direct you to do so.'

Sister Mary Katherine lived in the monastery for 5 years before the Priest said to her, 'Sister Mary Katherine, you have been here for 5 years. You can speak two words.'

Sister Mary Katherine said, 'Hard bed.'

'I'm sorry to hear that,' the Priest said, 'We will get you a better bed.'
After another 5 years, Sister Mary Katherine was called by the Priest.

'You may say another two words, Sister Mary Katherine.

'Cold food,' said Sister Mary Katherine, and the Priest assured her that the food would be better in the future.

On her 15th anniversary at the monastery, the Priest again called Sister Mary Katherine into his office.

'You may say two words today.'

'I quit,' said Sister Mary Katherine.

'It's probably best', said the Priest, 'You've done ****-all but moan ever since you've been here.'

 

^^^^^^^^^ *****!!!!

 

So this Bloke says to his wife,

'Get ready, you , me, the dog, we're goin' fishing.'

Wife says,

'I don't want to go fishing!'

Bloke gives her three choices. Fishing, a ******* or take it up the ****.

So she chooses a *******.

After sucking for a while she says,

'Your **** tastes like ****!

Bloke says

'Yeah, the dog didn't want to go fishin' either!

 

DAYUM !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Coffee on the screen again, Hawk.
I hate you hehehe

 

You are one really SICK S.O.B but I like your way with words

 

Prim young mother with young son in the car are driving along behind a rubbish truck.

As luck would have it rubbish falls off the truck, amongst the cr4p falling off is a ***** which hits the car windscreen.Young mum all embarassed says to son"Did you see the size of that insect?"

Son replies "Yeah but by the size of it's **** I'm surprised the bloody thing can fly"