Yep chit ..........that was a good one there Pete

 

Cute story, pete....very cute..
However, I've seen how it really goes down.
The young rooster just spurs the old one's eyes out. LOL!!

 

maybe but the farmer still blasts him...........

 

At the World’s Brewing Convention in the States, the CEOs of various brewing organisations retire to the bar at the end of the day.


Bruce, CEO of Fosters, shouts to the barman: "In Ausie, we make the best bloody beer in the world, so pour me a Fosters, mate."

Bob, CEO of Budweiser, calls out next: "In the States, we brew the king of them all - gimme a Bud !!"

Hans steps up next: "In Germany ve invented beer. Giv me un Becks, ze REAL King of beers. Jawoll !!!!"

Wouter, CEO of Stella Artois, follows by stating that Stella is the ultimate beer and asks for one with two fingers of foam on top.

Koos, chairman of SA Breweries, is next: "Barman, give me a diet Coke with ice and lemon please."

The other four stare at him in stunned silence, then Bruce asks: "Aren't you going to have a Castle, Koos….my mate?"

Koos replies "Well, if you guys aren't drinking beer, then neither am I."



THE STORY OF EVERY MAN!


When I was 14, I hoped that one day I would have a girlfriend.

When I was 16, I got a girlfriend, but there was no passion, so I
decided I needed a passionate girl with a zest for life.

In college, I dated a passionate girl, but she was too emotional.
Everything was an emergency; she was a drama queen, cried all the time
and threatened suicide. So I decided I needed a girl with stability.

When I was 25, I found a very stable girl, but she was boring. She was
totally predictable and never got excited about anything. Life became
so dull that I decided I needed a girl with some excitement.

When I was 28, I found an exciting girl, but I couldn't keep up with her..
She rushed from one thing to another, never settling on anything. She
did mad, impetuous things and made me miserable as often as happy.. She
was great fun initially and very energetic, but directionless.

So I decided to find a girl with some real ambition.

When I turned 31, I found a smart, ambitious girl with her feet planted
firmly on the ground and married her. She was so ambitious, that she
divorced me and took everything I owned.

I am older and wiser now and am looking for a girl with big ****, that likes lot of sex..........

 

^^^ HAHA!!
Both are great, but I think I like the second one...

 

+1 The second story is soooo true I think the moral is keep it simple!

 

hmmmm ain't the second one the truth.......lol............

seek and yee shall find...........yer bank account empty divorced or otherwise !

 

 

Have you ever been guilty of looking at others your own age and
Thinking, surely I can't look that old. Well.... you'll love this
One.
My name is alice smith and I was sitting in the waiting room for my
First appointment with a new dentist. I noticed his dds diploma,
Which bore his full name.
Suddenly, I remembered a tall, handsome, dark-haired boy with the
Same name had been in my high school class some 30-odd years ago.
Could he be the same guy that I had a secret crush on, way back
Then?
Upon seeing him, however, I quickly discarded any such thought. This
Balding, gray-haired man with the deeply lined face was way too old
To have been my classmate.
After he examined my teeth, I asked him if he had attended Morgan
Park High School .
'Yes. Yes, I did. I'm a Mustang,' he gleamed with pride.
'When did you graduate?' I asked.
He answered , 'in 1975.. why do you ask?'
'You were in my class!', I exclaimed.
He looked at me closely.
Then, that ugly,
Old,
Bald,
Wrinkled,
Fat ***,
Gray-haired,
Decrepit
Son-of-a- b--ch asked:




'What did you teach ???

 

Old Flame
I received a phone call from a gorgeous ex-girlfriend who This morning called 'out-of-the-blue' to see if I was still around.
We lost track of time, chatting about the wild, romantic times we used to enjoy together.
I couldn't believe it when she asked if I'd be interested in meeting up and rekindling a little of that 'old magic'.
'Wow!' I was flabbergasted.
'I don't know if I could keep pace with you now', I said, 'I'm a bit older
and a bit grayer and balder than when you last saw me. Plus I don't really have the energy I used to have.'
She just giggled and said she was sure I would 'rise to the challenge'.
'Yeah.' I said. 'Just so long as you don't mind a waistline that's a few inches wider these days! Not to mention my total lack of muscle tone...everything is sagging, my teeth are a bit yellowed and I am developing jowls like a Great Dane!'
She laughed and told me to stop being so silly.
She teased me saying that tubby, gray haired, older men were cute, and she was sure I would still be a great lover.
Anyway, she giggled and said, 'I've put on a few pounds myself!'


So I told her to f*** off.