Why Parents Drink

The boss wondered why one of his most valued employees was absent but had not phoned in sick one day. Needing to have an urgent problem with one of the main computers resolved, he dialled the employee's home phone number and was greeted with a child's whisper. ' Hello ? '

'Is your daddy home?' he asked.

' Yes ,' whispered the small voice.
May I talk with him?'

The child whispered, ' No .'

Surprised and wanting to talk with an adult, the boss asked, 'Is your Mummy there?' ' Yes '

'May I talk with her?' Again the small voice whispered, ' No '

Hoping there was somebody with whom he could leave a message, the boss asked, 'Is anybody else there?'
' Yes , ' whispered the child, ' a policeman . '

Wondering what a cop would be doing at his employee's home, the boss asked, 'May I speak with the policeman?'

' No, he's busy , ' whispered the child.

'Busy doing what?'
' Talking to Daddy and Mummy and the Fireman , ' came the whispered answer.

Growing more worried as he heard a loud noise in the background through the earpiece on the phone, the boss asked, 'What is that noise?'
' A helicopter ' answered the whispering voice.

'What is going on there?' demanded the boss, now truly apprehensive. Again, whispering, the child answered,

' The search team just landed a helicopter '

Alarmed, concerned and a little frustrated the boss asked, 'What are they searching for?'

Still whispering, the young voice replied with a muffled giggle...

' ME . '

 

Aussie Radio Joke
Old ones are always the best.

 

MO ................we're dying here at work mate .............****en awesome

 

HAHAHA!!
Those were both great....

 

CREMATED HUSBAND

Martha recently lost her husband. She had him cremated and brought his
ashes home.

Picking up the urn that he was in, she poured him out on the patio
table.

Then, while tracing her fingers in the ashes, she started talking to
him. "Herman, you know that dishwasher you promised me? I bought it
with the insurance money!"

She paused for a minute tracing her fingers in the ashes then said,
"Herman, remember that car you promised me? Well, I also bought it with
the insurance money!"

Again, she paused for a few minutes and while tracing her fingers in
the ashes she said, "Herman, that diamond ring you promised me? Bought
it too, with the insurance money!"

Finally, still tracing her fingers in the ashes, She said, "Herman,
remember that b l o w j o b I promised you? Here it comes!"

 

chuckle chuckle ..............good one ..................zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

 

STUD ROOSTER

A farmer went out one day and bought a brand new stud

rooster for his chicken coop.. The new rooster struts over to

the old rooster and says,

'OK old fart, time for you to retire.'

The old rooster replies, 'Come on, surely you

cannot handle

ALL of these chickens.

Look what it has done to me

Can't you just let me have the two old hens

over in the corner?'

The young rooster says,

2

'Beat it: You are washed up

and I am taking over.'

The old rooster says,

'I tell you what, young stud.

I will race you around the farmhouse.

Whoever wins gets the exclusive domain

over the entire chicken coop.' The young

rooster laughs.

'You know you don't stand a chance, old

man

So, just to be fair,

I will give you a head start.'

The old rooster takes off running. About 15

seconds later the young rooster takes off

running after him. They round the front

porch of the farmhouse and the young

rooster has closed the gap.

He is only about 5 feet behind the old rooster

3

and gaining fast. The farmer, meanwhile, is

sitting in his usual spot on the front porch

when he sees the roosters running by.

The Old Rooster is squawking

and running as hard as he can.

The Farmer grabs his shotgun and

- BOOM -

he blows the young rooster to bits. The

farmer sadly shakes his head and says,

'Dammit.....third gay rooster I

bought this month.'

Moral of this

story? ...

Don't mess with the OLD FARTS -

age, skill, wisdom, and a little treachery

always overcome youth and arrogance!

 

HA HA , good laugh there Pete! Loved the one 'Why parents drink'.

I can't seem to get the other ones to play , comes up as corrupted 'doodah' can't play , b0llocks!