Today's giggle
#91
08-15-2009, 08:53 PM
Administrator - Retired
#92
08-17-2009, 06:10 AM
Best laugh ever....
If you can imagine the scene you will laugh your head off!!
Tommy was playing in the house with his balloon. Throwing it this way and that, punching it up in the air, bouncing it off the walls until
The balloon floated into the bathroom and into the toilet bowl. Tommy looked at this, pulled a face of disgust and left the balloon where it
Landed.
A little while later his father entered the bathroom and promptly, without looking, sat down, with his magazine to do his "business". On
Standing he looked with horror at the toilet bowl!!! The excrement had totally covered the balloon and the picture was of an immense and
Absurd gigantic mountain of ****.
Not wanting to believe what had just happened he quickly phoned his friend who was a doctor.
"Gerald, I had a s*** that just filled up the whole toilet. I've never seen so much **** in one sitting. It's almost overflowing. I must have a very serious problem."
"Heck Dylan you are most probably exaggerating!"
"What exaggeration. I am looking at all that **** now. It's AB surd. I must be very ill".
" OK. I'm on my way home but I'll pop in as it's on my way."
The doctor arrived and went directly to the toilet where his friend was standing at the door waiting.
"Hello Dylan, where's this business that you ......HOLY S****, SWEET MOTHER MARY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! What is this????? For heavens sake what have you eaten?"
"Didn't I tell you? Now you believe me hey?"
"This is un-be-lie-va-ble!!!!"
" So you think I have a serious problem?"
"Well to start with I am going to take a sample"
Gerald, the doctor proceeded to take a small sterilized bottle out of his medical bag and when he pricked the "cake" to take his specimen
...................POW!!!!!!!!! The balloon popped and s*** went flying to every crevice within the four walls of the bathroom!!!!!!!
Absolute silence follows the eruption. Both men encased in **** look at each other and the doctor shouts "Son of a Gun! I thought I had
Seen it all in this life, but a fart with a shell..... Never ! ! ! !
If you can imagine the scene you will laugh your head off!!
Tommy was playing in the house with his balloon. Throwing it this way and that, punching it up in the air, bouncing it off the walls until
The balloon floated into the bathroom and into the toilet bowl. Tommy looked at this, pulled a face of disgust and left the balloon where it
Landed.
A little while later his father entered the bathroom and promptly, without looking, sat down, with his magazine to do his "business". On
Standing he looked with horror at the toilet bowl!!! The excrement had totally covered the balloon and the picture was of an immense and
Absurd gigantic mountain of ****.
Not wanting to believe what had just happened he quickly phoned his friend who was a doctor.
"Gerald, I had a s*** that just filled up the whole toilet. I've never seen so much **** in one sitting. It's almost overflowing. I must have a very serious problem."
"Heck Dylan you are most probably exaggerating!"
"What exaggeration. I am looking at all that **** now. It's AB surd. I must be very ill".
" OK. I'm on my way home but I'll pop in as it's on my way."
The doctor arrived and went directly to the toilet where his friend was standing at the door waiting.
"Hello Dylan, where's this business that you ......HOLY S****, SWEET MOTHER MARY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! What is this????? For heavens sake what have you eaten?"
"Didn't I tell you? Now you believe me hey?"
"This is un-be-lie-va-ble!!!!"
" So you think I have a serious problem?"
"Well to start with I am going to take a sample"
Gerald, the doctor proceeded to take a small sterilized bottle out of his medical bag and when he pricked the "cake" to take his specimen
...................POW!!!!!!!!! The balloon popped and s*** went flying to every crevice within the four walls of the bathroom!!!!!!!
Absolute silence follows the eruption. Both men encased in **** look at each other and the doctor shouts "Son of a Gun! I thought I had
Seen it all in this life, but a fart with a shell..... Never ! ! ! !
#94
08-17-2009, 06:52 AM
Guest
Posts: n/a
Absolute silence follows the eruption. Both men encased in **** look at each other and the doctor shouts "Son of a Gun! I thought I had
Seen it all in this life, but a fart with a shell..... Never ! ! ! !
Seen it all in this life, but a fart with a shell..... Never ! ! ! !
hahaha ..... yer , ok that was a good laugh Pete , and yer at Dylan's expense ... LOL
#96
08-18-2009, 09:59 AM
Administrator - Retired
#97
08-18-2009, 12:23 PM
#98
08-18-2009, 12:32 PM
A notable gynecologist once said, "The best engine in the world is the vagina. It can be started with one finger. It is self-lubricating. It takes any size piston. And it changes its own oil every four weeks. It is only a pity that the management system is so fecking temperamental.”
& Trout no takers for your fail boat Bud .........looks like the usual
crew of one .........YOU
#100
08-18-2009, 01:39 PM
RIP "The Baron of Bronson"
I heard this when I was like 10 years old. I still laugh my **** off to this day...
A lion is walking through the jungle and is feeling really horny; he hasn’t seen a female lion for months. Suddenly he spots a gazelle and not hungry, he starts looking at it in a sexual way. At first he dismisses the idea but passion overtakes him. He has a quick look around to make sure no one’s watching because this could ruin his reputation as King of the Jungle. So he sneaks up and ***** the hell out of it, and runs. Miles later he sees a zebra and does the same thing. Now thinking proudly “I’m the King of the Jungle I can do what I like."
After all this ******** he’s feeling thirsty and goes down to the local watering hole. While the lion is getting a drink a big hairy gorilla visits the same water hole. The gorilla is also feeling really horny as he peers from the bushes around the watering hole. He spots the lion having a drink with his **** stuck up in the air. He knows he’s taking his life in his hands but thinks **** it! He runs out of the bushes to the watering hole, grabs the lion by the main, shoves his head under water, and ***** the hell of him then turns and runs back into the jungle. The lion pulls his head out of the water sputtering and thinks what was that! He just manages to just barely catch a glimpse of the hairy gorilla disappearing back into the jungle. "Fooking hell" roars the lion “I had better catch that bastard before he tells anyone or else my reputation as King of the Jungle will be ruined!”
With the lion in pursuit, the hairy gorilla is tearing a path through the jungle trying to escape when he suddenly comes across a clearing in the jungle. There in the clearing he sees a great white hunter sitting in a director’s chair, pith helmet on his head, casually reading a copy of the Times while his slaves set up camp. The gorilla can hear the lion closing fast behind him so he jumps into the clearing and pandemonium ensues.
The slaves run off into the jungle screaming and the great white hunter chits himself, throws the newspaper into the air, loses his helmet, and gets out of there. The gorilla being a quick thinker jumps into the directors chair, puts on the pith helmet, and picks up the newspaper. With only seconds to spare the lion arrives in the clearing and surveys the scene. "Hey you hunter!" says the lion, "Have you seen a big hairy gorilla come through here?" The big hairy gorilla replies, "Do you mean the big hairy gorilla that fooked the lion in the **** down by the watering hole this morning?" The lion says dejectedly "Oh **** its in the newspapers already!"
A lion is walking through the jungle and is feeling really horny; he hasn’t seen a female lion for months. Suddenly he spots a gazelle and not hungry, he starts looking at it in a sexual way. At first he dismisses the idea but passion overtakes him. He has a quick look around to make sure no one’s watching because this could ruin his reputation as King of the Jungle. So he sneaks up and ***** the hell out of it, and runs. Miles later he sees a zebra and does the same thing. Now thinking proudly “I’m the King of the Jungle I can do what I like."
After all this ******** he’s feeling thirsty and goes down to the local watering hole. While the lion is getting a drink a big hairy gorilla visits the same water hole. The gorilla is also feeling really horny as he peers from the bushes around the watering hole. He spots the lion having a drink with his **** stuck up in the air. He knows he’s taking his life in his hands but thinks **** it! He runs out of the bushes to the watering hole, grabs the lion by the main, shoves his head under water, and ***** the hell of him then turns and runs back into the jungle. The lion pulls his head out of the water sputtering and thinks what was that! He just manages to just barely catch a glimpse of the hairy gorilla disappearing back into the jungle. "Fooking hell" roars the lion “I had better catch that bastard before he tells anyone or else my reputation as King of the Jungle will be ruined!”
With the lion in pursuit, the hairy gorilla is tearing a path through the jungle trying to escape when he suddenly comes across a clearing in the jungle. There in the clearing he sees a great white hunter sitting in a director’s chair, pith helmet on his head, casually reading a copy of the Times while his slaves set up camp. The gorilla can hear the lion closing fast behind him so he jumps into the clearing and pandemonium ensues.
The slaves run off into the jungle screaming and the great white hunter chits himself, throws the newspaper into the air, loses his helmet, and gets out of there. The gorilla being a quick thinker jumps into the directors chair, puts on the pith helmet, and picks up the newspaper. With only seconds to spare the lion arrives in the clearing and surveys the scene. "Hey you hunter!" says the lion, "Have you seen a big hairy gorilla come through here?" The big hairy gorilla replies, "Do you mean the big hairy gorilla that fooked the lion in the **** down by the watering hole this morning?" The lion says dejectedly "Oh **** its in the newspapers already!"
Last edited by michealparks; 08-18-2009 at 01:42 PM. Reason: typo