So well. Mike and O'Malley had been boyhood friends in Dublin and hadn't seen each other in over in 20 years.

And Mike says, "Aye O'Malley. 'Ow you been doon'. lately?"

O'Malley says, "Aw Mike, I just 'aven't been feelin' me'self."

And Mike says, " 'Tis good, It's a nasty habit, anyway!"

 

I was at the drug store buying some condoms.

The cashier asked if I need a bag

I said. No, she's not that ugly

 

I was in a pub last night, drank quite a few, and noticed two
very large women by the bar. They both had pretty strong accents,
so I asked, "Hey, are you two ladies from Ireland ?"

One of them snapped back saying, "It's WALES , you friggin' idiot!"

So, I immediately apologized and said, "I'm sorry. Are you two
whales from Ireland ?"

That's pretty much the last thing I remember...

 

 

I Think some ne has been watching me in the garage.
Seen this elsewhere, so thought I would pass along

 

Ain't that the !@$#@!$@ truth!

 

PATSY, THE ITALIAN FUNERAL DOG.

An Italian woman was leaving a convenience store with her espresso when she noticed a most unusual Italian funeral procession approaching the nearby cemetery. A black hearse was followed by a second black hearse about 50 feet behind the first one. Behind the second hearse was a solitary Italian woman walking a dog on a leash. Behind her, a short distance back, were about 200 women walking single file.

The woman couldn't stand the curiosity. She respectfully approached the
Italian woman walking the dog and said: "I am so sorry for your loss, and
this may be a bad time to disturb you, but I've never seen a Italian funeral
like this. Whose funeral is it?"

"My husband's."

''What happened to him?"

"He yelled at me and my dog attacked and killed him."

She inquired further, "But who is in the second hearse?"

The Italian woman answered, "My mother-in-law. She was trying to help my
husband when the dog turned on her."

A very poignant and touching moment of Italian sisterhood and silence passed between the two women..

"Can I borrow the dog?"

The woman replied, "Get in line." *

 

 

That's a bling giggle

Good one tho' Chris all the same

 

So me and my wife decided to commit suicide together but after she killed herself things started looking up!