Sheila: 'What are you doing?'
Bruce: Nothing.
Sheila: 'Nothing...? You've been reading our marriage certificate for an hour.'
Bruce: 'I was looking for the expiry date.'

 

Definition of Kiwi foreplay

"HANG ON TIGHT SHEIL"
BUT WHEN YOU SAY IT ALL THE SHEEP IN THE BARN LOOK UP...............

 

hah ah hah hah awe jeez here we go.............. lol

Nice going Seb ! hee hee



sooooo ..........my turn

Bruce and Sheila are shopping when Bruce picks up a dozen VB stubbies and sticks 'em into the trolley.
"What the F#*%! do you think you're doing?" says Sheila.
"They're on special, only $10 for 12 cans", Bruce says.
"Put them back. We can't afford it," says Sheila and they carry on shopping...
A few minutes later the Sheila picks up a $20 jar of face cream and sticks it into the trolley.
"What the F#*%! do you think you're doing?" asks Bruce."
It's my face cream. It makes me look beautiful," Sheila says.
To which Bruce replies... "SO DOES 12 CANS OF VB AND THAT'S ONLY HALF THE F*%KING PRICE"


Double R nuttin

Bruce is driving over the Sydney Harbour Bridge one day when he sees his girlfriend, Sheila about to throw herself off.
Bruce slams on the brakes and yells "Sheila, what the hell d'ya think you're doing?" Sheila turns around with a tear in her eye and says, "G'day Bruce. Ya got me pregnant and so now I'm gonna kill myself." Bruce gets a lump in his throat when he hears this. He says "Strewth Sheila..... Not only are you a great **** but you're a real sport too."

And drives off.

One last one along the lines of Sebs original clanger

Bruce is out in the sticks comes across a girl swinging on the farm gate.
"Do ya root?" asks Bruce.
"No" says the sheila, "but you're such a silver tongued bastard, you've just talked me into it."

 

OMG !

Coffee on the monitor again..................

 

- Seb has such a way of inspiring great humour (with a u)

 

Don't you mean a ewe...................?

 

yaaaaaa aaaaaa aaaaa

 

That's what the sheep in Teek's barn say
Or so I'm told

(He has those talking sheep - he always says they lie though..........LOL)


Reminds me of the song by Queen
"Don't stop me now"
LOL

 

or I'm thinking it's a duet with Wallace & Grommit ...... arr arr

 

Thanks for the laugh this mornin' boys.......so to contunue:

Two old Kiwi farmers are driving along the road and miss their turn off.

The first farmer says Can you do a U-ey?

The second farmer says, yes, and I can make her eyes sparkle!