Today's giggle
Thread Starter
|
Redcoat, & Maxwell's Silver Hammer, MVN and curmudgeon
Joined: Dec 2007
Posts: 11,608
Likes: 5
From: Mud hut, Zululand
Our YUMYUM is shopping around
To buy some new bits for her Gixxer
But so sad, there were none to be found
'Cause her Gixxer's a bit of a fixer.....
To buy some new bits for her Gixxer
But so sad, there were none to be found
'Cause her Gixxer's a bit of a fixer.....
Guest
Posts: n/a
Suzuki Gsxr on fire at Acr - YouTube
YUMYUM's banger turned out to be a huge clanger... !
And after the fire, her Honda looked like a real live wire ...!
lol
Guest
Posts: n/a
The Chant on an Alzheimers Demonstration!!!
What do we want?
YES!
When do we want it?
WHAT?
-----------------
Dyslexic Bank Robbers
Two Dyslexic Bank Robbers Walk Into A Bank And Shout " Air In The Hands Mothers Stickers This Is A **** !! Up!! ...
------------------
Sick chit !!
Little Suzie Goes Into The Bathroon And Her Dad's In There Taking A Shower. She Sees His Dink And Says "daddy Whats That?" Her Dad Says " Its My *****." Suzie Says "when Am I Going To Get One?" Dad Says " Soon As Your Mother Goes To Work! "
------------------
And since I hung chit on Aussie and TK Kiwi's lot .... lol
Here's quite a good quoted one for a few dudes from du other side of the other side of the pond ......lolol
lololol
...
..........
What do we want?
YES!
When do we want it?
WHAT?
-----------------
Dyslexic Bank Robbers
Two Dyslexic Bank Robbers Walk Into A Bank And Shout " Air In The Hands Mothers Stickers This Is A **** !! Up!! ...
------------------
Sick chit !!
Little Suzie Goes Into The Bathroon And Her Dad's In There Taking A Shower. She Sees His Dink And Says "daddy Whats That?" Her Dad Says " Its My *****." Suzie Says "when Am I Going To Get One?" Dad Says " Soon As Your Mother Goes To Work! "
------------------
And since I hung chit on Aussie and TK Kiwi's lot .... lol
Here's quite a good quoted one for a few dudes from du other side of the other side of the pond ......lolol
You know you are in S.Africa. When....
You know you're in South Africa when/if...WARNING : The following is a somewhat cynical look at the new South Africa. Fervent patriots beware... -
The bank checks your great grandparents' credit record before granting you a credit card. -
The bank issues you a credit card with a limit that you can't even buy a plane ticket with. -
Your cheque takes 14 days to clear. -
You see these intestine-stuffed-with-meat packs on the shelves of supermarkets commonly known as Borewors. And when you take them out of the pack, they're so long that it can be laid along the Great Wall of China. Or you see people using it to tow their cars. -
You see it says non-South African Burger in some of ID books. (Just in case you don't know Afrikaans, Nie SA Burger = Non SA Citizen). -
People talk about robots when they really mean traffic lights. -
The telephone company of South Africa overcharges you without you realising it.
- You dial a toll-free number and nobody answers the phone.
- There's only one person aboard a double-decker bus during peak hours, namely the bus driver himself.
- You find out there's nothing to watch on TV or it's broadcasting in 11 different official languages.
- When people interpret the STOP sign as a YIELD sign and a YIELD sign as something totally non-existent.
- You see a traffic circle even though the road is only 3 metres wide.
- There's kingklip on every restaurant menu.
- The waiter snatches your plate the instant your knife and fork are parallel.
- The guard dogs rush you at the gate, wagging their tails and waiting to be petted.
- A mini bus taxi passes you, just to stop right in front of you.
- When the road narrows, the guy to the rear of you has right of way.
- You don't stop at a red rob.... traffic light, in case somebody hijacks your car.
- You buy something that was damaged in the shop, and they won't refund you.
- Votes have to be recounted until the right party wins.
- You have to prove you don't need a loan to get one.
- A shop clerk makes you feel as if he/she is doing you a favour by letting you buy from their shop.
- You save up for months to buy a video machine for someone to steal.
- You pay 3 times the value for the above mentioned video machine.
- Your insurance is higher than the repayments on your car.
- You consider it a good month if you only get mugged once.
- When Rwandan refugees start leaving the country because the crime is too high.
- When the political parties spend time and money worrying about crimes of the past and ignore the crimes of the present. - When purse snatching becomes a national sport.
- When people start joking about the crime rate.
- A Toyota Camry is a luxury car that costs as much as a BMW.
- The police ask you if they should follow up on the burglary you've just reported.
- Locally built cars cost more that imported ones, and how quick and the amount that these local car prices can drop.
- The rand goes for a dive, and everything goes up, even old stock.
- When you paint your car's registration number on the roof in large letters.
- When 2 Afrikaans TV programs are separated by a Xhosa announcement of the following Afrikaans program, and a Zulu commercial.
- The government has more opposition from themselves than from any opposition party.
- A minister is fired, and returns the government cell phone, but keeps the G-number-plated BMW. - The currency takes a dive, and the previous government gets the blame.
- Students from Vaal Driehoek Technikon demands that their debt is written off... at Pretoria Technikon
- A 45 year old engineer gets replaced by a 25 year old who cannot write his own name.
- The employees DANCE in front of the building to show how unhappy they are.
- Half the city pays for the other half's electricity and water supply.
- When a murderer gets a 2 year sentence and a pirate viewer a 6 month sentence.
- The prisoners strike! - Crime actually DOES pay.
- People are allowed to reclaim land (For free) that's been bought from their forefathers.
- The SABC advertises and shows highlights of the program you just finished viewing.
- The government GIVES you a house, and you complain.
- You can't even go on a business trip to Oz without somebody asking knowingly: "Oh, having a look around, are you?...."
- The most popular vehicle is a 4X4 designed for driving in snow or off-road that people buy for the express purpose of driving to Sandton City/Constantia Village/GreenAcres/The Waterfront to do their grocery shopping.
- Retail stores go out of their way to be open at the times that are most inconvenient to the majority of people (8:30 AM to 5:00 PM), and closed at the times when most people are able to go shopping (ie.after 5:00 PM).
- The few innovative stores that stay open late have to close down through lack of business because the sheep, I mean people, can't get it through their skulls that you CAN go shopping at 10 PM.
- You attempt to get onto a freeway via an on-ramp and the guy approaching on the freeway deliberately speeds up to prevent you merging smoothly with the traffic.
- Or the guy in front of you (always an old man, wearing a hat <--- check, it's true!) stops dead, waiting for a gap onto the freeway.
- You buy a product with a 12-month guarantee (exhaust, video, toaster, etc) and it expires after 12 months and 3 seconds.
- Locally purchased BMWs and Mercs have a sign on the dash saying "Use indicators only in case of extreme emergency".
- There is more space between the sole of your foot and the accelerator pedal than between your rear bumper and the car behind you.
- People would rather drive a flashy car with HUGE repayments and MASSIVE insurance than live in a decent house.
- A Toyota Hilux bakkie cost as much as a Landrover.
- A pick-up truck is described as a "bakkie" even in english.
- The post office stores letters instead of delivering letters.
- Sam Shilowa calls for a stayaway on his birthday.
- When a South African coming from America/UK has a more pronounced accent than an actual American/Englishman.
- Someone tells you about all the overseas places they have visited - over and over and over again. - In every mall there is 10 curio shops containing the same stuff.
- If you blink, you miss the weather forecast on TV.
- SABC 3 is SABC 2 after 18:30, only in KwaZulu-Natal, except on the weekend.
- Petrol takes the biggest price jump in history, the banks increase their interest rates by two percent, and the Rand's value dives by 25%, but we are told that; "we have just had the lowest inflation rate increase in 24 years".
- When you go to prison for murder, instead of the death sentence, you get a nice box of condoms. - You are likely to spend less time in prison for shooting the SABC license inspector, than for actually not having a TV license.
- The main headline of the evening TV news is the opinion of an unemployed squatter who spik inglish no good and calls on the head of Anglo-American to resign or face the consequences.
- You realise after watching the news on TV that nothing happened in the rest of the world.
- To alleviate congestion in post office queues, they bring in the innovative idea of selling scratch cards.
- You are expected to carry a drivers license that doesn't fit into your wallet.
- The fact that there is an election and people are standing in line waiting to vote is more important than the result of the election.
- The police advise you not to stop if they wave you down in the middle of the night but rather speed past them and drive to your nearest police station.
- People would rather be killed in their beds than live in some country where they would have to make their beds themselves.
- You can't make a phone call because the copper cables have been stolen.
- When SOME people start thinking university is free to everyone.
- When employers have to pay the employee wages during strikes and cannot lock them out.
- When cops are always able to spot you parking/driving illegally but are optically challenged if you are drive a taxi.
- When things don't get stolen, they get affirmatively acquired.
- When the government rams affirmative action down our throats while wondering how the graduates & professionals could be so unpatriotic as to want to emigrate.
- when the SABC summons you for non-payment of TV license fees - when you don't have a television.
- When the vote counters in the rural areas are as illiterate as the voters.
- You no longer request anything, you "DIMAND" it.
- You know what "vowlence" is.
- People are not embarrassed about watching Leon Schuster movies, "Win and Spin" or "Suburban Bliss".
- When the police offer R 1000.00 for reward leading to the arrest of someone, or 3 cows.
You know you're in South Africa when/if...WARNING : The following is a somewhat cynical look at the new South Africa. Fervent patriots beware... -
The bank checks your great grandparents' credit record before granting you a credit card. -
The bank issues you a credit card with a limit that you can't even buy a plane ticket with. -
Your cheque takes 14 days to clear. -
You see these intestine-stuffed-with-meat packs on the shelves of supermarkets commonly known as Borewors. And when you take them out of the pack, they're so long that it can be laid along the Great Wall of China. Or you see people using it to tow their cars. -
You see it says non-South African Burger in some of ID books. (Just in case you don't know Afrikaans, Nie SA Burger = Non SA Citizen). -
People talk about robots when they really mean traffic lights. -
The telephone company of South Africa overcharges you without you realising it.
- You dial a toll-free number and nobody answers the phone.
- There's only one person aboard a double-decker bus during peak hours, namely the bus driver himself.
- You find out there's nothing to watch on TV or it's broadcasting in 11 different official languages.
- When people interpret the STOP sign as a YIELD sign and a YIELD sign as something totally non-existent.
- You see a traffic circle even though the road is only 3 metres wide.
- There's kingklip on every restaurant menu.
- The waiter snatches your plate the instant your knife and fork are parallel.
- The guard dogs rush you at the gate, wagging their tails and waiting to be petted.
- A mini bus taxi passes you, just to stop right in front of you.
- When the road narrows, the guy to the rear of you has right of way.
- You don't stop at a red rob.... traffic light, in case somebody hijacks your car.
- You buy something that was damaged in the shop, and they won't refund you.
- Votes have to be recounted until the right party wins.
- You have to prove you don't need a loan to get one.
- A shop clerk makes you feel as if he/she is doing you a favour by letting you buy from their shop.
- You save up for months to buy a video machine for someone to steal.
- You pay 3 times the value for the above mentioned video machine.
- Your insurance is higher than the repayments on your car.
- You consider it a good month if you only get mugged once.
- When Rwandan refugees start leaving the country because the crime is too high.
- When the political parties spend time and money worrying about crimes of the past and ignore the crimes of the present. - When purse snatching becomes a national sport.
- When people start joking about the crime rate.
- A Toyota Camry is a luxury car that costs as much as a BMW.
- The police ask you if they should follow up on the burglary you've just reported.
- Locally built cars cost more that imported ones, and how quick and the amount that these local car prices can drop.
- The rand goes for a dive, and everything goes up, even old stock.
- When you paint your car's registration number on the roof in large letters.
- When 2 Afrikaans TV programs are separated by a Xhosa announcement of the following Afrikaans program, and a Zulu commercial.
- The government has more opposition from themselves than from any opposition party.
- A minister is fired, and returns the government cell phone, but keeps the G-number-plated BMW. - The currency takes a dive, and the previous government gets the blame.
- Students from Vaal Driehoek Technikon demands that their debt is written off... at Pretoria Technikon
- A 45 year old engineer gets replaced by a 25 year old who cannot write his own name.
- The employees DANCE in front of the building to show how unhappy they are.
- Half the city pays for the other half's electricity and water supply.
- When a murderer gets a 2 year sentence and a pirate viewer a 6 month sentence.
- The prisoners strike! - Crime actually DOES pay.
- People are allowed to reclaim land (For free) that's been bought from their forefathers.
- The SABC advertises and shows highlights of the program you just finished viewing.
- The government GIVES you a house, and you complain.
- You can't even go on a business trip to Oz without somebody asking knowingly: "Oh, having a look around, are you?...."
- The most popular vehicle is a 4X4 designed for driving in snow or off-road that people buy for the express purpose of driving to Sandton City/Constantia Village/GreenAcres/The Waterfront to do their grocery shopping.
- Retail stores go out of their way to be open at the times that are most inconvenient to the majority of people (8:30 AM to 5:00 PM), and closed at the times when most people are able to go shopping (ie.after 5:00 PM).
- The few innovative stores that stay open late have to close down through lack of business because the sheep, I mean people, can't get it through their skulls that you CAN go shopping at 10 PM.
- You attempt to get onto a freeway via an on-ramp and the guy approaching on the freeway deliberately speeds up to prevent you merging smoothly with the traffic.
- Or the guy in front of you (always an old man, wearing a hat <--- check, it's true!) stops dead, waiting for a gap onto the freeway.
- You buy a product with a 12-month guarantee (exhaust, video, toaster, etc) and it expires after 12 months and 3 seconds.
- Locally purchased BMWs and Mercs have a sign on the dash saying "Use indicators only in case of extreme emergency".
- There is more space between the sole of your foot and the accelerator pedal than between your rear bumper and the car behind you.
- People would rather drive a flashy car with HUGE repayments and MASSIVE insurance than live in a decent house.
- A Toyota Hilux bakkie cost as much as a Landrover.
- A pick-up truck is described as a "bakkie" even in english.
- The post office stores letters instead of delivering letters.
- Sam Shilowa calls for a stayaway on his birthday.
- When a South African coming from America/UK has a more pronounced accent than an actual American/Englishman.
- Someone tells you about all the overseas places they have visited - over and over and over again. - In every mall there is 10 curio shops containing the same stuff.
- If you blink, you miss the weather forecast on TV.
- SABC 3 is SABC 2 after 18:30, only in KwaZulu-Natal, except on the weekend.
- Petrol takes the biggest price jump in history, the banks increase their interest rates by two percent, and the Rand's value dives by 25%, but we are told that; "we have just had the lowest inflation rate increase in 24 years".
- When you go to prison for murder, instead of the death sentence, you get a nice box of condoms. - You are likely to spend less time in prison for shooting the SABC license inspector, than for actually not having a TV license.
- The main headline of the evening TV news is the opinion of an unemployed squatter who spik inglish no good and calls on the head of Anglo-American to resign or face the consequences.
- You realise after watching the news on TV that nothing happened in the rest of the world.
- To alleviate congestion in post office queues, they bring in the innovative idea of selling scratch cards.
- You are expected to carry a drivers license that doesn't fit into your wallet.
- The fact that there is an election and people are standing in line waiting to vote is more important than the result of the election.
- The police advise you not to stop if they wave you down in the middle of the night but rather speed past them and drive to your nearest police station.
- People would rather be killed in their beds than live in some country where they would have to make their beds themselves.
- You can't make a phone call because the copper cables have been stolen.
- When SOME people start thinking university is free to everyone.
- When employers have to pay the employee wages during strikes and cannot lock them out.
- When cops are always able to spot you parking/driving illegally but are optically challenged if you are drive a taxi.
- When things don't get stolen, they get affirmatively acquired.
- When the government rams affirmative action down our throats while wondering how the graduates & professionals could be so unpatriotic as to want to emigrate.
- when the SABC summons you for non-payment of TV license fees - when you don't have a television.
- When the vote counters in the rural areas are as illiterate as the voters.
- You no longer request anything, you "DIMAND" it.
- You know what "vowlence" is.
- People are not embarrassed about watching Leon Schuster movies, "Win and Spin" or "Suburban Bliss".
- When the police offer R 1000.00 for reward leading to the arrest of someone, or 3 cows.
lololol...
..........
Last edited by CBRclassic; Feb 16, 2012 at 02:36 AM.
Thread Starter
|
Redcoat, & Maxwell's Silver Hammer, MVN and curmudgeon
Joined: Dec 2007
Posts: 11,608
Likes: 5
From: Mud hut, Zululand
Funny part is
IT'S ALL TRUE
i DID SEE THIS, THOUGH......
"Give me 10 good reasons not to move to Australia"...................
Best Answer - Chosen by Voters
1 Its full of Australians!
2 Its full of Australians!
3 Its full of Australians!
4 Its full of Australians!
5 Its full of Australians!
6 Its full of Australians!
7 Its full of Australians!
8 Its full of Australians!
9 Its full of Australians!
10 Its full of Australians!
Also -
Funnel web spiders
Skin Cancer
Sydney Opera House Bingo Hall
Architectural - the pits
Joan Sutherland is now dead
Bush fires
Flies
Litter
Cheese - lack of variety
Australia is in drought
They are as messed up over PC as us. (See Santas wh ocant say Ho Ho Ho)
They are all obese.
They have other spiders that will kill you.
They have more animals that will kill you. and less taxi's that will try....
They speak in a whining nasal accent.
They hate to loose at sport more than we do.
They have poor green credentials.
You never get snow at Christmas.
You will really will be a minority there.
Vegemite
its hot
they have gorgeous beaches
its sunny at christmas
budgies and parrots replace sparrows and pidgeons
it has vast open spaces
housing is alot cheaper
skippys there!
and koalas
you can go exploring in the out back
the place names are so pretty don't u think,(alice springs,wagga wagga)
hmmmmn i'm not doing too well here am i hang on i'll get my coat im coming too!
IT'S ALL TRUE
i DID SEE THIS, THOUGH......
"Give me 10 good reasons not to move to Australia"...................
Best Answer - Chosen by Voters
1 Its full of Australians!
2 Its full of Australians!
3 Its full of Australians!
4 Its full of Australians!
5 Its full of Australians!
6 Its full of Australians!
7 Its full of Australians!
8 Its full of Australians!
9 Its full of Australians!
10 Its full of Australians!
Also -
Funnel web spiders
Skin Cancer
Sydney Opera House Bingo Hall
Architectural - the pits
Joan Sutherland is now dead
Bush fires
Flies
Litter
Cheese - lack of variety
Australia is in drought
They are as messed up over PC as us. (See Santas wh ocant say Ho Ho Ho)
They are all obese.
They have other spiders that will kill you.
They have more animals that will kill you. and less taxi's that will try....
They speak in a whining nasal accent.
They hate to loose at sport more than we do.
They have poor green credentials.
You never get snow at Christmas.
You will really will be a minority there.
Vegemite
its hot
they have gorgeous beaches
its sunny at christmas
budgies and parrots replace sparrows and pidgeons
it has vast open spaces
housing is alot cheaper
skippys there!
and koalas
you can go exploring in the out back
the place names are so pretty don't u think,(alice springs,wagga wagga)
hmmmmn i'm not doing too well here am i hang on i'll get my coat im coming too!
Guest
Posts: n/a
i DID SEE THIS, THOUGH......
"Give me 10 good reasons not to move to Australia"...................
"Give me 10 good reasons not to move to Australia"...................
and we are lovin it !!!I liked this one too ... our dirt and deserts ain't the only big things we have that are big !!! lol
A Texan Farmer in Australia
A Texan farmer goes to Australia for a vacation. There he meets an Aussie farmer and gets talking. The Aussie shows off his big wheat field and the Texan says, "Oh! We have wheat fields that are at least twice as large." Then they walk around the ranch a little, and the Aussie shows off his herd of cattle. The Texan immediately says, "We have longhorns that are at least twice as large as your cows." The conversation has, meanwhile, almost died when the Texan sees a herd of kangaroos hopping through the field. He asks, "And what are those?" The Aussie replies with an incredulous look, "Don't you have any grasshoppers in Texas?"
A Texan farmer goes to Australia for a vacation. There he meets an Aussie farmer and gets talking. The Aussie shows off his big wheat field and the Texan says, "Oh! We have wheat fields that are at least twice as large." Then they walk around the ranch a little, and the Aussie shows off his herd of cattle. The Texan immediately says, "We have longhorns that are at least twice as large as your cows." The conversation has, meanwhile, almost died when the Texan sees a herd of kangaroos hopping through the field. He asks, "And what are those?" The Aussie replies with an incredulous look, "Don't you have any grasshoppers in Texas?"
Last edited by CBRclassic; Feb 16, 2012 at 02:59 AM.
Guest
Posts: n/a
Take note .. !!!
Chit , I am still pissing my ****ing pants here after reading this one !!!!
It prolly unfortunately , or more than likely fortunately ..lol , describes the Ozzie attitude quite accurately !!! LOLOLOL
This actually appeared in an issue of Australian Aviation Magazine (June 2000? ).....
RULES OF THE AIR
1. Every takeoff is optional. Every landing is mandatory.
2. If you push the stick forward, the houses get bigger. If you pull the stick back, they get smaller. That is, unless you keep pulling the stick all the way back, then they get bigger again.
3. Flying isn't dangerous. Crashing is what's dangerous.
4. It's always better to be down here wishing you were up there than up there wishing you were down here.
5. The ONLY time you have too much fuel is when you're on fire.
6. The propeller is just a big fan in front of the plane used to keep the pilot cool. When it stops, you can actually watch the pilot start sweating.
7. When in doubt, hold on to your altitude. No one has ever collided with the sky.
8. A 'good' landing is one from which you can walk away. A 'great' landing is one after which they can use the plane again.
9. Learn from the mistakes of others. You won't live long enough to make all of them yourself.
10. You know you've landed with the wheels up if it takes full power to taxi to the ramp.
11. The probability of survival is inversely proportional to the angle of arrival. Large angle of arrival, small probability of survival and vice versa.
12. Never let an aircraft take you somewhere your brain didn't get to five minutes earlier.
13. Stay out of clouds. The silver lining everyone keeps talking about might be another airplane going in the opposite direction. Reliable sources also report that mountains have been known to hide out in clouds.
14. Always try to keep the number of landings you make equal to the number of take offs you've made.
15. There are three simple rules for making a smooth landing. Unfortunately no one knows what they are.
16. You start with a bag full of luck and an empty bag of experience. The trick is to fill the bag of experience before you empty the bag of luck.
17. Helicopters can't fly; they're just so ugly the earth repels them.
18. If all you can see out of the window is ground that's going round and round and all you can hear is commotion coming from the passenger compartment, things are not at all as they should be.
19. In the ongoing battle between objects made of aluminium going hundreds of miles per hour and the ground going zero miles per hour, the ground has yet to lose.
20. Good judgment comes from experience. Unfortunately, the experience usually comes from bad judgment.
21. It's always a good idea to keep the pointy end going forward as much as possible.
22. Keep looking around. There's always something you've missed.
23. Remember, gravity is not just a good idea. It's the law. And it's not subject to repeal.
24. The three most useless things to a pilot are the altitude above you, runway behind you, and a tenth of a second ago.
It prolly unfortunately , or more than likely fortunately ..lol , describes the Ozzie attitude quite accurately !!! LOLOLOL
This actually appeared in an issue of Australian Aviation Magazine (June 2000? ).....
RULES OF THE AIR
1. Every takeoff is optional. Every landing is mandatory.
2. If you push the stick forward, the houses get bigger. If you pull the stick back, they get smaller. That is, unless you keep pulling the stick all the way back, then they get bigger again.
3. Flying isn't dangerous. Crashing is what's dangerous.
4. It's always better to be down here wishing you were up there than up there wishing you were down here.
5. The ONLY time you have too much fuel is when you're on fire.
6. The propeller is just a big fan in front of the plane used to keep the pilot cool. When it stops, you can actually watch the pilot start sweating.
7. When in doubt, hold on to your altitude. No one has ever collided with the sky.
8. A 'good' landing is one from which you can walk away. A 'great' landing is one after which they can use the plane again.
9. Learn from the mistakes of others. You won't live long enough to make all of them yourself.
10. You know you've landed with the wheels up if it takes full power to taxi to the ramp.
11. The probability of survival is inversely proportional to the angle of arrival. Large angle of arrival, small probability of survival and vice versa.
12. Never let an aircraft take you somewhere your brain didn't get to five minutes earlier.
13. Stay out of clouds. The silver lining everyone keeps talking about might be another airplane going in the opposite direction. Reliable sources also report that mountains have been known to hide out in clouds.
14. Always try to keep the number of landings you make equal to the number of take offs you've made.
15. There are three simple rules for making a smooth landing. Unfortunately no one knows what they are.
16. You start with a bag full of luck and an empty bag of experience. The trick is to fill the bag of experience before you empty the bag of luck.
17. Helicopters can't fly; they're just so ugly the earth repels them.
18. If all you can see out of the window is ground that's going round and round and all you can hear is commotion coming from the passenger compartment, things are not at all as they should be.
19. In the ongoing battle between objects made of aluminium going hundreds of miles per hour and the ground going zero miles per hour, the ground has yet to lose.
20. Good judgment comes from experience. Unfortunately, the experience usually comes from bad judgment.
21. It's always a good idea to keep the pointy end going forward as much as possible.
22. Keep looking around. There's always something you've missed.
23. Remember, gravity is not just a good idea. It's the law. And it's not subject to repeal.
24. The three most useless things to a pilot are the altitude above you, runway behind you, and a tenth of a second ago.
Last edited by CBRclassic; Feb 16, 2012 at 04:00 AM.
Retired Super Moderator, Tin Star Man & Hurricane Saloon Prospect, ROTM Feb 2015
Joined: Sep 2011
Posts: 2,382
Likes: 5
From: Vääksy, Finland
OMG! I was laughing so hard I almost lost my lunch! For sure everyone else lost their appetite... If they didn't think Im crazy, they sure do now!
Retired Super Moderator, Tin Star Man & Hurricane Saloon Prospect, ROTM Feb 2015
Joined: Sep 2011
Posts: 2,382
Likes: 5
From: Vääksy, Finland
Let me set up a scene for ya:
You're eating your lunch at the cafe of the factory you work for, when you notice a young guy sitting alone in the corner-table crouched over his plate, shoveling food into his mouth in a mad rush like he hasn't had a bite in two weeks while he is fiddling his phone with the free hand. You turn around to start to eat your own lunch when you are suddenly showered by a spray of supersonic potato bits when the guy in the corner explodes into a frantic laughter almost choking to his food. Do you think:
a) he's propably just reading new posts on CBRF.
b) better steer clear, that one might bite...
You're eating your lunch at the cafe of the factory you work for, when you notice a young guy sitting alone in the corner-table crouched over his plate, shoveling food into his mouth in a mad rush like he hasn't had a bite in two weeks while he is fiddling his phone with the free hand. You turn around to start to eat your own lunch when you are suddenly showered by a spray of supersonic potato bits when the guy in the corner explodes into a frantic laughter almost choking to his food. Do you think:
a) he's propably just reading new posts on CBRF.
b) better steer clear, that one might bite...
