I caught my wife cheating on me!!!
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Joined: Jul 2009
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This is definitely rough to hear/see. My parents divorce was difficult enough and neither of them cheated. Hopefully things are going well for you and you are getting things straight. Based on the circumstances, I would try to keep all of your stuff, or at least most of it. She isn't really entitled to anything, IMO. I know sometimes the courts don't see it that way, but if you move(d) fast and got your ducks in a row... you should be okay, financially anyway.
You sound like you are doing okay on the other front. Keeping busy helps. It can take a long time, especially after being together for 9 years... but it will get better and you will be better for it in the long run.
You sound like you are doing okay on the other front. Keeping busy helps. It can take a long time, especially after being together for 9 years... but it will get better and you will be better for it in the long run.
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Member
Joined: Apr 2009
Posts: 85
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From: St. Albans, Vt
what im wondering is should i send the pics that i found to this guy's wife since they are going through a divorce right now to..so he can really get f- over since he did not give 2 shiz what happened to me. he knew she was married but yet he still went ahead and did it.
Last edited by white_knuckled08; Oct 23, 2009 at 10:44 AM.
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Joined: Nov 2008
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From: J-ville, FLORIDA
Gas on a fire
if you start to do any of this , first make sure all of your chit is in order as others stated , cause you might not want a big battle. Funny thing is i cannot see why you shouldnt. thats actually a pretty cool idea. i personally would move on and probly would not even make eye contact with her . she does not deserve any e-motion from you , focus on the pretty girls that have not screwed you over!
Senior Member
Joined: Jul 2009
Posts: 4,471
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From: West Philly, PA!
Right now you have to view things like you're in a battle and currently are in a very strong, winning position. As but the battle isn't won yet so you have to choose your actions very carefully. So you don't weaken or undermine your position.
That means leaving the other guys wife alone. You don't want any of your actions to seem vindictive. If she's smart she prolly already knows of your wife. Now if she does, ask yourself this: did she tell you? You really need to he talking to a lawyer right now. Every word or action cam affect the outcome. I mean you'd hate to end up paying alimony to her because something you said or did gave her a case for it.
That means leaving the other guys wife alone. You don't want any of your actions to seem vindictive. If she's smart she prolly already knows of your wife. Now if she does, ask yourself this: did she tell you? You really need to he talking to a lawyer right now. Every word or action cam affect the outcome. I mean you'd hate to end up paying alimony to her because something you said or did gave her a case for it.
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Joined: Jul 2009
Posts: 188
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From: Denver,Colorado
"That means leaving the other guys wife alone. You don't want any of your actions to seem vindictive"
**to that I agree** Court can get really ugly and you need to show integrety to the Judge,magistrate.
I empathise with you and am sorry to hear you have to deal with it.
Second I'd like to commend this community for giving the best advice according to my experience - Been there. I'm proud to be associated.
Now from me personally , I'd add-this is going to hurt in places you cant find.But you HAVE to be strong on it,accept it and deal for yourself. No prisoners approach. Get her away from you ,like yesterday. Deal with the pain of it, always thinking aboout how you could have saved it(you couldn't) argueing with her in your mind - all that, get past this ,man. You can. Looks like a lot of us have. Be tough, be strong,think before you move and keep in mind you rprimary objective is to be done with her. She is with you except for the games she will play to her advantage.
The best of luck and skill to you and from the thread,I'd say you have some pretty good support.Use it and take care of yourself....
**to that I agree** Court can get really ugly and you need to show integrety to the Judge,magistrate.
I empathise with you and am sorry to hear you have to deal with it.
Second I'd like to commend this community for giving the best advice according to my experience - Been there. I'm proud to be associated.
Now from me personally , I'd add-this is going to hurt in places you cant find.But you HAVE to be strong on it,accept it and deal for yourself. No prisoners approach. Get her away from you ,like yesterday. Deal with the pain of it, always thinking aboout how you could have saved it(you couldn't) argueing with her in your mind - all that, get past this ,man. You can. Looks like a lot of us have. Be tough, be strong,think before you move and keep in mind you rprimary objective is to be done with her. She is with you except for the games she will play to her advantage.
The best of luck and skill to you and from the thread,I'd say you have some pretty good support.Use it and take care of yourself....
Banned
Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 309
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From: Inland Empire, Califas
That sounds like a good idea. I recomend P90X. It works wonders and it will keep you busy, trust me.
Senior Member
Joined: Jul 2009
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what im wondering is should i send the pics that i found to this guy's wife since they are going through a divorce right now to..so he can really get f- over since he did not give 2 shiz what happened to me. he knew she was married but yet he still went ahead and did it.
Hopefully you can, they both deserve to get nailed for this.
Is his wife hot?
(only sort of kidding lol)
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See now, here's the thing, and this is really important so consider this carefully.
You DO NOT want to do ANYTHING vindictive, not sending pics to the guys wife, not finding ways to get at your wife, not threatening the guy, not calling her relatives. You also don't want to do anything kind, or considerate.. you don't want to do anything at all.
Here's why, that ISN'T you letting go and walking away, that's you staying engaged in the relationship and interacting with these people. Here's what you need to be doing... forget about it, don't talk to her or any of the people involved, don't do things to be vindictive don't do anything at all except remove yourself from the entire situation. You need to remove yourself not only physically, but mentally and emotionally as well. It's over, move on. And the funny thing is.... doing that is the one thing that will really get back at her and frustrate her the most, though that's not why you should do it. Have nothing to do with her that doesn't involve a lawyer man, move on, up, and to better things.. and better women. Don't fixate on the past.
You should search for and read posts by a guy who used to post here named Endless, find the one about his relationship..... see where staying engaged in the relationship leads too. Haven't seen him on here for a long time, she likely had him thrown in jail or killed him by now, heh, scary part is I'm not actually kidding about that.
You DO NOT want to do ANYTHING vindictive, not sending pics to the guys wife, not finding ways to get at your wife, not threatening the guy, not calling her relatives. You also don't want to do anything kind, or considerate.. you don't want to do anything at all.
Here's why, that ISN'T you letting go and walking away, that's you staying engaged in the relationship and interacting with these people. Here's what you need to be doing... forget about it, don't talk to her or any of the people involved, don't do things to be vindictive don't do anything at all except remove yourself from the entire situation. You need to remove yourself not only physically, but mentally and emotionally as well. It's over, move on. And the funny thing is.... doing that is the one thing that will really get back at her and frustrate her the most, though that's not why you should do it. Have nothing to do with her that doesn't involve a lawyer man, move on, up, and to better things.. and better women. Don't fixate on the past.
You should search for and read posts by a guy who used to post here named Endless, find the one about his relationship..... see where staying engaged in the relationship leads too. Haven't seen him on here for a long time, she likely had him thrown in jail or killed him by now, heh, scary part is I'm not actually kidding about that.
Last edited by Hangfire; Oct 23, 2009 at 06:32 PM.
Official CBRF Welcome Crew Undercover Agent
Joined: Oct 2008
Posts: 1,907
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From: Colorado, U.S.A.
^ Yeah, you're right. Last I heard his girlfriend had made a report immediately after he spent the night with her, and he ended up having a domestic violence warrant put out on him.