During a physical, the doctor asked the patient about his daily activity level. The patient replied, “Well, yesterday afternoon I waded along the edge of a lake, drank eight beers, escaped from wild dogs in the heavy brush, marched up and down several rocky hills, stood in a patch of poison ivy, crawled out of quicksand, jumped away from an aggressive rattlesnake and took four leaks behind big trees.”

Inspired by the story the doctor said, “WOW, you must be one hell of an outdoorsman!”
The patient replied, “No, not really, I'm just a bad golfer.”

 

I was looking for a good fish joke but couldn't find one.
If anybody has a good fish pun,
please let minnow.

 

However, I think we should dolphinately scale back on the fish puns..........



Cheers, SB

 

That was a whale of a joke Seb.

 

Hey, if you can find a better fish pun, let minnow.

 

 

Being a modest man, when I checked into my hotel on a recent trip, I
said to the lady at the registration desk, "I hope the **** channel in
my room is disabled." To which she replied, "No, it's regular
people-****, you sick ba$tard.

 

In a world full of so much negativity, at least Charlie Sheen can be positive.

 

In light of recent police announcements that they no longer consider it necessary to attend the scene of domestic burglaries I have taken down the NewZealand flag from beside the house and peeled the burglar alarm sticker off the front door.

We've disconnected our home alarm system and quit our Neighbourhood Watch. I've bought two Syrian flags on Trademe and raised them in the front garden, one at each corner, plus a black flag of ISIS in the centre,flying high.

Now the local police, CIB, NZSIS, SAS and other NZ Tactical Police agencies are all watching the house 24/7.

We've never felt safer and we're saving $24.95 a month!!..

 

That at my age, I don't necessarily keep up with all the hip and happening trends on social media.

But this interview today on the wireless did pique my interest.

http://podcast.radionz.co.nz/aft/aft...lagrue-048.mp3

So; of course I had to go off and have a look at this phenomenon.


This raises all sorts of supplementary questions.

Will a courgette (zucchini) only make your cat jump half as high?

Would a marrow make your cat land in the neighbors property?

I have been banned from doing further research in my house, but I'm sure some of you guys can further the knowledge in this field.

Sigh, Friday evening in NZ, don't worry, it will soon be Friday evening where you live.