That was more brilliant than funny. I will have to tuck that one away for possible future use somehow.

 

Aussies aren't that smart!

 

I just attended an incredibly emotional wedding.
Even the cake was in tiers.

 

ATTENTION: The man who sued the airline for losing his luggage has lost his case.

 

I don't like Russian nesting dolls. They are so full of themselves.

 

An inquisitive child asked his dad one day: "Dad, can you get aids off a toilet seat?"

The father replied: "Well you could if you sit down before the other guy gets up"

 

The top ten best one liners from the recent Edinburgh Comedy Festival.


Dave's Top 10 Funniest Jokes from the Fringe Festival 2015

1. "I just deleted all the German names off my phone. It's Hans free" - Darren Walsh.


2. "Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge **** ... but enough about Kanye West" - Stewart Francis.


3. "Surely every car is a people carrier?" - Adam Hess.


4. "What's the difference between a 'hippo' and a 'Zippo'? One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter" - Masai Graham.


5. "If I could take just one thing to a desert island I probably wouldn't go" - Dave Green.


6. "Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread. That's not a miracle. That's tapas" - Mark Nelson.


7. "Red sky at night. Shepherd's delight. Blue sky at night. Day" - Tom Parry.


8= "The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper. She was wearing massive gloves" - Alun Cochrane.


8= "Clowns divorce. Custardy battle" - Simon Munnery.


10. "They're always telling me to live my dreams. But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for ..." - Grace The Child.

 

^^^^^^ fantastic Teeks! I did titter so................

Cheers, SB

 

Outstanding! Great way to start the day sir Kiwi. Well done indeed.

 

Pure gold, although I hear robitussin is the cats meow when it comes to coughing.