Today's giggle
A bloke goes for an eye appointment at his optician:
Optician: Im afraid you're going to have to stop masturbating
Bloke: Why? Is it making my eyes weaker?
Optician: No - its upsetting all my other patients!
Optician: Im afraid you're going to have to stop masturbating
Bloke: Why? Is it making my eyes weaker?
Optician: No - its upsetting all my other patients!
Blimey Joe, you're cracking em out like a horney teenager. All good. I've laughed muchly.
Steve...... I'm starting to get worried and yet strangely excited in a childish way. Flash Gordon never had a CBR. Imagine if he had. Saturday morning at the flicks would have been so much more exciting.
I'm still unable to answer most of your propositions but there is one point you should take into account.
Your tyres will not last longer than 1/186th of a second (assuming you hadn't destroyed them in the initial acceleration) which means that if you're to cruise at light speed you need to either increase the back wheel diameter by 186 times to be able to have enough rubber to last the full second, or send a tyre shop to warp speed a few nano seconds ahead of you.
Steve...... I'm starting to get worried and yet strangely excited in a childish way. Flash Gordon never had a CBR. Imagine if he had. Saturday morning at the flicks would have been so much more exciting.
I'm still unable to answer most of your propositions but there is one point you should take into account.
Your tyres will not last longer than 1/186th of a second (assuming you hadn't destroyed them in the initial acceleration) which means that if you're to cruise at light speed you need to either increase the back wheel diameter by 186 times to be able to have enough rubber to last the full second, or send a tyre shop to warp speed a few nano seconds ahead of you.
Guest
Posts: n/a
Joe , strewth mate .... both those were dam good !!!!.... 
Do you find them online or make em up? ....
I personally hope you find them online...lolol , or we will have to seek help for you ...
**** Henry , you are bloody onto something there mate?? !!! 
As soon as I figure out what the **** it is exactly , I will post up an appropriate reply , but hey , thanks mate .... !!
" as I go searching for the biggest ****** ****er set of of a Bridgestone's "
that has ever been seen !!!! ...
BTW - If my wheels are spinning forward!! whilst I am running at or over the 186,000MPS... will they leave my old girl and spear off into the bloody future without me ??? ....if so , stopping and parking her afterwards may become a some what serious issue to be sortted ..hmmmmm? ?
....
Do you find them online or make em up? ....
I personally hope you find them online...lolol , or we will have to seek help for you ...
Blimey Joe, you're cracking em out like a horney teenager. All good. I've laughed muchly.
Steve...... I'm starting to get worried and yet strangely excited in a childish way. Flash Gordon never had a CBR. Imagine if he had. Saturday morning at the flicks would have been so much more exciting.
I'm still unable to answer most of your propositions but there is one point you should take into account.
Your tyres will not last longer than 1/186th of a second (assuming you hadn't destroyed them in the initial acceleration) which means that if you're to cruise at light speed you need to either increase the back wheel diameter by 186 times to be able to have enough rubber to last the full second, or send a tyre shop to warp speed a few nano seconds ahead of you.
Steve...... I'm starting to get worried and yet strangely excited in a childish way. Flash Gordon never had a CBR. Imagine if he had. Saturday morning at the flicks would have been so much more exciting.
I'm still unable to answer most of your propositions but there is one point you should take into account.
Your tyres will not last longer than 1/186th of a second (assuming you hadn't destroyed them in the initial acceleration) which means that if you're to cruise at light speed you need to either increase the back wheel diameter by 186 times to be able to have enough rubber to last the full second, or send a tyre shop to warp speed a few nano seconds ahead of you.
As soon as I figure out what the **** it is exactly , I will post up an appropriate reply , but hey , thanks mate .... !!
" as I go searching for the biggest ****** ****er set of of a Bridgestone's "
that has ever been seen !!!! ...
BTW - If my wheels are spinning forward!! whilst I am running at or over the 186,000MPS... will they leave my old girl and spear off into the bloody future without me ??? ....if so , stopping and parking her afterwards may become a some what serious issue to be sortted ..hmmmmm? ?
....
I seem to have unwittingly unleashed a train of people who are interested in the whole speed of light theory here.
Maybe we should set up a new thread called the 186K Anoraks?
Maybe we should set up a new thread called the 186K Anoraks?
Member
Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 76
Likes: 0
From: Moab, Utah.
a very young lady was having her period, but her mother refused to go to the store to buy tampons for her. Very embarrassed, she reluctantly goes to the store for herself and quickly finds what she needs and proceeds to the check out, But, as luck would have it, the box wouldn't scan so the sales clerk gets on the intercom. "GM, we need a price check on Tampax!".
GM thought the clerk said "thumb tax" so gets on the intercom to confirm. "Do you mean the kind you push in with you thumb, or the kind you pound in with a hammer?"
GM thought the clerk said "thumb tax" so gets on the intercom to confirm. "Do you mean the kind you push in with you thumb, or the kind you pound in with a hammer?"
Guest
Posts: n/a
a very young lady was having her period, but her mother refused to go to the store to buy tampons for her. Very embarrassed, she reluctantly goes to the store for herself and quickly finds what she needs and proceeds to the check out, But, as luck would have it, the box wouldn't scan so the sales clerk gets on the intercom. "GM, we need a price check on Tampax!".
GM thought the clerk said "thumb tax" so gets on the intercom to confirm. "Do you mean the kind you push in with you thumb, or the kind you pound in with a hammer?"
GM thought the clerk said "thumb tax" so gets on the intercom to confirm. "Do you mean the kind you push in with you thumb, or the kind you pound in with a hammer?"
Senior Member
Joined: Oct 2006
Posts: 1,513
Likes: 1
From: Queensland, Australia
A teacher was reading the story of the Three Little Pigs to her class.
She came to the part of the story where first pig was trying to gather
the building materials for his home.
She read. 'And so the pig went up to the man with the wheelbarrow
full of straw and said: 'Pardon me sir, but may I have some of that
straw to build my house?'
The teacher paused then asked the class: 'And what do you think
the man said?'
One little boy raised his hand and said very matter-of-factly...
'I think the man would have said - 'Well, I'll be f*cked!! A talking pig!'
She came to the part of the story where first pig was trying to gather
the building materials for his home.
She read. 'And so the pig went up to the man with the wheelbarrow
full of straw and said: 'Pardon me sir, but may I have some of that
straw to build my house?'
The teacher paused then asked the class: 'And what do you think
the man said?'
One little boy raised his hand and said very matter-of-factly...
'I think the man would have said - 'Well, I'll be f*cked!! A talking pig!'
A teacher was reading the story of the Three Little Pigs to her class.
She came to the part of the story where first pig was trying to gather
the building materials for his home.
She read. 'And so the pig went up to the man with the wheelbarrow
full of straw and said: 'Pardon me sir, but may I have some of that
straw to build my house?'
The teacher paused then asked the class: 'And what do you think
the man said?'
One little boy raised his hand and said very matter-of-factly...
'I think the man would have said - 'Well, I'll be f*cked!! A talking pig!'
She came to the part of the story where first pig was trying to gather
the building materials for his home.
She read. 'And so the pig went up to the man with the wheelbarrow
full of straw and said: 'Pardon me sir, but may I have some of that
straw to build my house?'
The teacher paused then asked the class: 'And what do you think
the man said?'
One little boy raised his hand and said very matter-of-factly...
'I think the man would have said - 'Well, I'll be f*cked!! A talking pig!'
Q: Why don't blind people skydive?
A: It scares the chit out of the dog.
Q. What's the definition of macho?
A. Jogging home from your vasectomy.
Q. What's the difference between a G-spot and a golf ball?
A. A guy will actually search for a golf ball
Q. How do you find a blind man in a nudist colony?
A. It's not hard.
Q: What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife?
A: 45 pounds.
Q: What's got forty ***** and really ****s a duck?
A: A shotgun cartridge.
A: It scares the chit out of the dog.
Q. What's the definition of macho?
A. Jogging home from your vasectomy.
Q. What's the difference between a G-spot and a golf ball?
A. A guy will actually search for a golf ball
Q. How do you find a blind man in a nudist colony?
A. It's not hard.
Q: What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife?
A: 45 pounds.
Q: What's got forty ***** and really ****s a duck?
A: A shotgun cartridge.
Last edited by JHouse; Jun 25, 2011 at 11:55 AM.
