Australian Tom : New Design : ( hang on Dadarob's ) in the UK

So


Correction ...... Sorry Aussie Blokes thought we was talking woolens for a minute

UK Design Tom : New Design : Rear Loading (bit of a tight squeeze I hear)

 

John, woke up after the annual office Christmas party with a pounding headache, cotton-mouthed and utterly unable to recall the events of the preceding evening.
After a trip to the bathroom, he made his way downstairs, where his wife put some coffee in front of him. "Louise," he moaned, "tell me what happened last night. Was it as bad as I think?"
"Even worse," she said, her voice oozing scorn. "You made a complete *** of yourself. You succeeded in antagonizing the entire board of directors and you insulted the president of the company, right to his face."
"He's an *******," John said. "**** on him."
"You did," came the reply. "And he fired you."
"Well, screw him!" said John.
"I did. You're back at work on Monday."






__________________________________________________ __________




Three men die in a car accident Christmas Eve. They all find themselves at the pearly gates waiting to enter Heaven. On entering they must present something "Christmassy".
The first man searches his pocket, and finds some Mistletoe, so he is allowed in.
The second man presents a cracker, so he is also allowed in.
The third man pulls out a pair of panties.
Confused at this last gesture, St. Peter asks, "How do these represent Christmas?"
The third man answered "They're Carol's."






__________________________________________________ __________

 

Hahahah good woman.

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tmb8bcJPTFM

 

Three contractors were bidding to fix a broken fence at the White House.

One was from New York, one was from Tennessee, and the third was from Illinois.

All three went with a White House official to examine the fence.

The Kentucky contractor took out a tape measure and does some measuring, then works some figures with a pencil. "Well," he says, "I figure the job will run about $900: $400 for materials, $400 for my crew and $100 profit for me."

The Tennessee contractor also does some measuring and figuring, then says,"I can do this job for $700: $300 for materials, $300 for my crew and $100 profit for me."

The New York contractor doesn't measure or figure, but leans over to the White Houseofficial and whispers, "$2,700."

The official, incredulous, says, "You didn't even measure like the other guys!How did you come up with such a high figure?"

The New York whispers back, "$1000 for me, $1000 for you, and we hire theguy from Tennessee to fix the fence."

"Done!" replies the government official

 

One of our fine young member opened a thread that reminded me of a funny story. I don't know where to post it so I figured I would post it here as I think it's funny.

I use to work at a Honda shop years ago. Some customer were concerned about their chrome pipes turning blue. At the service counter you could buy a product called 'Blue Away'. An older guy came in as I was standing at the service counter and said, "I need to be blown away". Not knowing if this guy was joking or what, we all look at the guy confused as he said it again. Then he said, "My friend said that if I came here I would get blown away."

The guy behind the counter asked," Are you joking or something, who the hell are you and why do you want to get blown away?"

The man answered, "My pipes are blue and now I need to be blow away".

Two of us were in tears as the counter guy explained it's call Blue Away.

 

'Perfect Password'*

A woman was helping her husband set up his computer, and at the appropriate
point in the process, the computer advised him that he would
now need to enter a password. Something he will use to log on.. The husband
was in a rather amorous mood and figured he would try for the shock effect
to bring this to his wife's attention. So, when the computer asked him to
enter his password, he made it plainly obvious to his wife what he was
entering by stating each letter out loud as he typed:

*P.....E...N...I...S*
:::: His wife fell off her chair laughing when the computer replied ::::


PASSWORD REJECTED.*
NOT LONG ENOUGH ! !

 

Indy , MED's ........ lots of med's is the only answer ....... this the last "great" joke for 2010 ???? LOL

 

I will never hear or see this word again without thinking of this joke.
Today's word is................. Fluctuations
I was at my bank today; there was a short line.
There was just one lady in front of me, an Asian lady who was
trying to exchange yen for dollars.
It was obvious she was a little irritated . . . She asked the
teller, "Why it change? Yesterday, I get two hunat dolla fo yen. Today I
only get hunat eighty? Why it change?"
The teller shrugged his shoulders and said, "Fluctuations."
The Asian lady says, "Fluc you white people too"