trout

should I hari kari it first.........nah then I'd be a sneaky bastard

I'll just have to take it on the chin I guess

Sorry Hawk no thread I promised only one and I'm a man of my word
& I might make the chit list..............

 

Yup you made the chit list.........................................
and Maxwell got your post.
I just hope Admin didn't see it....................
he has a bigger hammer than me...............mine's rubber and makes squeaky noises when I bash things.

 

EINA !



Dag nab it..........I got pinched.

 

I THINK YOU'RE THE FATHER OF ONE OF MY KIDS





A guy goes to the supermarket and notices an attractive woman waving at him.
He's rather taken aback because he can't place where he knows her from.

So he says, 'Do you know me?'
To which she replies, 'I think you're the father of one of my kids.'

Now his mind travels back to the only time he has ever been unfaithful to his wife
and says, 'Are you the stripper from the bachelor party that I made love to on the
pool table with all my buddies watching while your partner whipped my butt with wet celery???'

She looks into his eyes and says calmly,
'No, I'm your son's teacher..............'

 

Ah shoooot very good , we had a good laugh at that one Pete

 

Excellent Pete!!

 

A young single guy finds himself stranded on a deserted island. As he washes ashore, he sees a women passed out in the sand. Able to perform CPR on her, he saves her life. Suddenly, he realizes that the woman is Angelina Jolie.

Immediately, Angelina falls in love with the man.

Days and weeks go by, and they’re making passionate love morning, noon and night. True Heaven on earth in the man’s eyes. Alas, one day she notices he’s looking kind of glum.

“What’s the matter, sweetheart?” she asks. “We have a wonderful life together and I’m in love with you. Is there something wrong? Is there anything I can do?”

He says, “Actually, Angelina, there is. Would you mind, putting on my shirt and pants?”

“Sure,” she says, “if it’ll help.” He takes off his shirt and pants and she puts it on.

“Okay, would you put on my hat now, and draw a little mustache on your face?” he asks.

“Whatever you want, sweetie,” she says, and does so.

Then he says, “Now, would you start walking around the edge of the island?” She starts walking around the perimeter of the island. He sets off in the other direction.

They meet up half way around the island a few minutes later. He rushes up to her, grabs her by the shoulders, and says,

“Dude! You’ll never believe who I’m sleeping with!”

 

LOL..............very good .

Mind if I add a small one ??

A guy came into a bar one day and said to the barman, "Give me six double vodkas."
The barman says, "Wow! you must have had one really bad day."
"Yes, I've just found out my older brother is gay."
The next day the same guy came into the bar and asked for the same drinks.
When the bartender asked what the problem was today the answer came back,
"I've just found out that my younger brother is gay too!"
On the third day the guy came into the bar and ordered another six more double vodkas.
The bartender said, "WOW! Doesn't anybody in your family like women?"
"Yeah, my wife..."