Two medical students were walking along the street when they saw an old man
walking with his legs spread apart. He was stiff-legged and walking slowly.

One student said to his friend: "I'm sure that poor old man has Peltry Syndrome. Those people walk just like that."
The other student says: "No, I don't think so. The old man surely has Zovitzki Syndrome. He walks slowly and his legs are apart, just as we learned in class."

Since they couldn't agree they decided to ask the old man. They approached him and one of the students said to him,
"We're medical students and couldn't help but notice the way you walk, but we couldn't agree on the syndrome you might have.
Could you tell us what it is?" The old man said, "I'll tell you, but first you tell me what you two fine medical students think."

The first student said, "I think it's Peltry Syndrome." The old man said, "You thought - but you are wrong."
The other student said, "I think you have Zovitzki Syndrome." The old man said, "You thought - but you are wrong."

So they asked him, "Well, old timer, what do you have?"
The old man said, "I thought it was GAS - but I was wrong, too!"

 

Guy walks into the bar with a big grin on his face and orders a draft beer. "What are you so happy about?" asks the barman.

"Well, I'll tell you," replies the Guy. "You know, I live by the railroad tracks. Well, on my way home last night, I noticed a
young woman tied to the tracks, you know, just like in the movies. I, of course, went and cut her free and took her back
to my place. Anyway, to make a long story short, I scored big time! We made love all night, all over the house. We did
everything, in every position imaginable!"

"Fantastic!" exclaimed the barman. "You lucky baastard, was she pretty?"

"Dunno, he says............Never did find the head!"

 

why is it, that most men can't sleep after having sex ?

cos they need to drive home !

 

My mate reckons he always cries after sex. I thought, "You big sook!" Then I remembered... he is still in prison.

 

There once was man named Kalass
He had ***** made of fine brass
In stormy weather
they clung together
and lightning shot out of his a$$

 

A bear taking a dump asked a rabbit
"Does **** stick to your fur as a habit?"
"Of course not," said the hare,
"It's really quite rare!"
So the bear wiped his arss with the rabbit.

 

The limerick is furtive and mean

You must keep her in close quarantine

Or she sneaks to the slums

And then promptly becomes

Just disorderly, drunk and obscene.



A limerick fan from Australia

regarded his work as a failure:

his verses were fine

until the fourth line

?


An old schizophrenic named Struther,

Who learned of the death of his Brother,

Said, "I know that its bad,

But I don't feel too sad.

After all, I still have each other."

 

In the style of a limerick.

"There once was an X from place B

That satisfied predicate P

He or she did thing A

In an adjective way

Resulting in circumstance C"

And just as an aside; whilst I've always thought of limericks as an English/Irish (?) thing apparently the majority of people in limericks hail from Nantucket.

I have no idea why that is.

 

A young man from Timbucktoo

Whose limericks stopped at line two.

 

apparently the majority of people in limericks hail from Nantucket.


It's because they found taties in Ireland and they only had oil in Nantucket.......