Your suspension is not too stiff if you're 190 - can't be. Bikes are set up for like 135 lb rider.
My sus is way too soft for me and im 195 & preload all the way up. I'm w 95hp though, I have an all stock 2001 f4i and grind the peg (feelers are already off) whenever I please. I need rearsets but also need to hang off more.

Touchin the peg is not a good thing either. I almost ate it in on the carosel at BHF's. When you start touching hard parts it's time to change - either your rearsets, your sus, or your riding style.

 

9 times out of 10 it's riding style that needs to change.

It's a good thing that the stock pegs are spring mounted.

Of course if you are dragging pegs routinely on the street, you are on a countdown to destruction anyway.