You Might Not Be Riding A Real Motorcycle If ...


Your motorcycle has a reverse gear.
You don't kill bugs with your helmet.
You installed a cup holder.
Your wheels have metal spokes.
It takes NO skill to ride.
Your motorcycle has more than two headlights.
Your motorcycle has a redline below 10,000 RPM.
Your motorcycle has a heater.
You have to use an intercom to talk to your passenger.
Your motorcycle won't wheelie (aka "You Can't Get The Front End Up Without A Crane" Syndrome).
The dry weight is greater than 600 lbs.
Your motorcycle has a trailer hitch.
You have a hardpoint for the attachment of a sidecar.
Your motorcycle takes longer than 5 seconds to get to 60mph.
Your motorcycle doesn't have a chain.
Your motorcycle is more loud than fast.
Your seat is right over the rear tire.
Your headlight has a shroud.
Your tail light has a color dot.
You have a cruise control.
Black is the only color that accessorizes well.
You need more than two people to put it on the center stand.
It has a center stand.
You installed a sissy bar.
Tattoos are required for ownership.
Tasseled chaps and vest are the proper dress code for riding.
The riding position is perfectly comfortable.
Your passenger has a full seat behind you.
You got your helmet at a WW II Axis surplus sale.
You have a tattoo of your bike.
You're the sixth owner in four years.
Your wife has a tattoo of your bike.
There is a plastic skull over your headlight.
Your rearview mirrors are shaped like German iron crosses.
Your windshield is three feet wide and four feet tall.
Your motorcycle has a 40 channel CB, and a AM-FM Stereo Cassette.
You have an antennae on your bike.
You paid more than $14,000 for a USED bike!
Your seat has springs under it.
You have matching studded leather saddlebags.
Your helmet has a spike on top of it.
Your grandfather rode a bike just like it when he was a young man.
Most of your bike's highway time was spent tied down in the back of a pickup truck.
Your rear tire has a mud flap.
Your riding buddies are named "Skull", "Bone", and "Skeeter".
You have more than 4 reflectors on your bike.
You ever had to worry about jack-knifing the trailer that you were towing behind your bike.
You got a free logo embossed wallet on a chain promotional when you took delivery of your bike from the dealer.
You can't adjust your suspension.
Your dog likes to go for rides on it.
Your passenger can fall asleep while riding.
Your spark plug caps light up.
You have to turn your headlight on manually.
Your engine isn't liquid cooled.
Your air cleaner rattles and shakes when you twist the throttle.
You have floor boards instead of foot pegs.
You have six cylinders, six carburetors, and still can't get down the quarter mile in less than twelve and a half seconds.
Your bike has more colored lights than a Christmas tree.
Your engine size is measured in cubic inches instead of CC's.
You ever bought or installed billet aluminum accessories for your bike.
Magazine ads for your bike feature bearded overweight older men with odious personal habits and a fetish for leather and chains.
The head mechanic at your dealer has both arms covered in tattoos and answers only to the name of "Snake Daddy."
The name of your motorcycle includes any of the following words "Heritage", "Classic", "Vintage", "King", "Glide", "Tourer", "Retro", "Road", "Highway", "Dyna", "Ultra", "Springer", "Soft", "Hard", "Tail", or "Star".
No one looks at you funny when you ride into a truck stop.
The same people who built your bike just introduced their own line of cigarettes.
The only instrumentation on your bike is a big fat speedometer that goes all the way up to 85 mph.
The name of your bike doesn't include a capital R somewhere in it.
You ever installed highway cruising pegs.
The dealership where you bought

 

All bikes have metal spokes
Enduros rock
Buell
Buell
and Buell

Other than those offending me they were pretty good.

"if it dosen't have a capital R somewhere in the title" haha

 

I'm not gonna lie....I'd rather be riding a honda shadow or something than nothing....

 

Good stuff

 

here's a great one, walk up to a harley rider, and tell him it sounds like somethings wrong with his bike, then tell him it sounds like its only running on two cylinders. it may take em a bit to get it though, because every harley I've ever seen is a twin.

 

all bikes dont have metal spokes dude. where the heck do you get that from???

 

Oh sorry, besides the moto gp bikes witht the carbon spokes and the mongoose bicycles you buy from walmart with the plastic spokes.

 

bwahahahahaha

yes, those metal parts that connect the big round rubber bit to the little round hub bit ARE spokes!!!

other than that, well done

 

hey dont get on me...i didnt type this, just pasted it...there were a few i didnt comprehend, but i didnt want to take the time to "x" those out