So far this week......
#21
08-18-2006, 02:20 PM
#22
08-18-2006, 03:11 PM
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#23
08-18-2006, 04:43 PM
RE: So far this week......
psycojester,
Sure makes that ticket rather insignificant doesn't it?
Let me tell ya bro, there's nothing that anyone can say or do to make it better. I lost my Dad on Memorial Day last year, at the age of 56, to a (very) sudden heart attack so I can relate to an extent. My Dad was and still is my best friend and I have been lost ever since his passing. People will start coming out of the wood work and say things like "Hey I know exactly how you feel" or "I know what you're going through" because they have lost a parent already. The truth is that no one knows how you feel no matter what they have gone through - we're all just trying to help in any way.
What I have done in the last year, to help cope with the death of my Dad, is:
1) Got a nice memorial tattoo on the day of his funeral. Whenever I look at myself in the mirror, I am not reminded of him only because we look alike but because there is this "burning heart" on my chest that will never go away.
2) Put a custom made decal on my bike's gas tank, surrounding the cap, with his name, birthday and day of his passing. Every time I am on my bike I think of him. I pray that he keeps me safe whenever I am in the saddle...
3) Exactly one year after he died, I took a motorcycle trip to the same camp ground and same camp site that my Dad and I spent our last Labor Day together, just me and him. This time around it was just me and my memories of him, but I am sure he was smiling down on me from the skies above Lake Michigan.
4) Most importantly I have surrounded myself with my family and friends - friends that know my Dad and can share stories with me and not just listen to me ramble on about all the good times we spent together.
My Dad's cousin told me, on the day of his funeral, that "You don't become a man until you lose your dad." Those words, while I didn't give them much thought at the time, have stuck with me ever since that day. Every time I needed something, had to make a big decision, or just needed to vent for a while, my Dad is the person I would call. Now that he is gone I've gotta do all that on my own - I don't trust anyone else to help me the way he did. So I guess (in a way) I did become the man that I needed to be. And now the family is "mine" so they need someone as strong, if not stronger than my pops to help them get through the rest of our lives together.
If you're anywhere near as devastated as I was, there may also be a lot of "medicated" evenings in your future. I turned to alcohol to help get me through many sleepless nights. I used it to trick myself into believing that it never happened. People will tell you that drugs and/or alcohol isn't the way to deal with losing your old man... but you've gotta do what you gotta do. All I am going to say to you is that if you choose the path I did just BE SAFE and stay off the bike or out of your car. Some days are going to get harder before they get easier - your next birthday, his next birthday, Christmas, Thanksgiving, Father's Day, etc. are most likely going to be pretty difficult. Keep in mind though that time does help and the good days will eventually start out-numbering the bad days. Just be as strong as possible and know that your family will help you when you need them to.
If you ever want to chat a little more bro just shoot me a PM.
Take care,
Joe
Sure makes that ticket rather insignificant doesn't it?
Let me tell ya bro, there's nothing that anyone can say or do to make it better. I lost my Dad on Memorial Day last year, at the age of 56, to a (very) sudden heart attack so I can relate to an extent. My Dad was and still is my best friend and I have been lost ever since his passing. People will start coming out of the wood work and say things like "Hey I know exactly how you feel" or "I know what you're going through" because they have lost a parent already. The truth is that no one knows how you feel no matter what they have gone through - we're all just trying to help in any way.
What I have done in the last year, to help cope with the death of my Dad, is:
1) Got a nice memorial tattoo on the day of his funeral. Whenever I look at myself in the mirror, I am not reminded of him only because we look alike but because there is this "burning heart" on my chest that will never go away.
2) Put a custom made decal on my bike's gas tank, surrounding the cap, with his name, birthday and day of his passing. Every time I am on my bike I think of him. I pray that he keeps me safe whenever I am in the saddle...
3) Exactly one year after he died, I took a motorcycle trip to the same camp ground and same camp site that my Dad and I spent our last Labor Day together, just me and him. This time around it was just me and my memories of him, but I am sure he was smiling down on me from the skies above Lake Michigan.
4) Most importantly I have surrounded myself with my family and friends - friends that know my Dad and can share stories with me and not just listen to me ramble on about all the good times we spent together.
My Dad's cousin told me, on the day of his funeral, that "You don't become a man until you lose your dad." Those words, while I didn't give them much thought at the time, have stuck with me ever since that day. Every time I needed something, had to make a big decision, or just needed to vent for a while, my Dad is the person I would call. Now that he is gone I've gotta do all that on my own - I don't trust anyone else to help me the way he did. So I guess (in a way) I did become the man that I needed to be. And now the family is "mine" so they need someone as strong, if not stronger than my pops to help them get through the rest of our lives together.
If you're anywhere near as devastated as I was, there may also be a lot of "medicated" evenings in your future. I turned to alcohol to help get me through many sleepless nights. I used it to trick myself into believing that it never happened. People will tell you that drugs and/or alcohol isn't the way to deal with losing your old man... but you've gotta do what you gotta do. All I am going to say to you is that if you choose the path I did just BE SAFE and stay off the bike or out of your car. Some days are going to get harder before they get easier - your next birthday, his next birthday, Christmas, Thanksgiving, Father's Day, etc. are most likely going to be pretty difficult. Keep in mind though that time does help and the good days will eventually start out-numbering the bad days. Just be as strong as possible and know that your family will help you when you need them to.
If you ever want to chat a little more bro just shoot me a PM.
Take care,
Joe
#24
08-18-2006, 05:01 PM
RE: So far this week......
That is good advice, Joe, for some people. I dont want to sound like i am knocking anything you said because we all cope in different ways, but i feel as if we need to understand that death is apart of life and move on. Getting overdramatic can be damaging in the long run... honoring the dead can be healthy, but i dont think constant reminders and permenant memorials that you cannot help but see everyday is. Maybe it is for you, and that is great.
As you mentioned, getting too emotional (emotion is good, too emotional is not) can lead to dangerous stuff like drugs and alchohol and that is defenitely not going to help you move on with your life...
As you mentioned, getting too emotional (emotion is good, too emotional is not) can lead to dangerous stuff like drugs and alchohol and that is defenitely not going to help you move on with your life...
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