ok you inspired me:

Frank and Bob go out drinking and just get trashed. They leave the bar and go home about 3 in the morning. The next day Frank asks Bob if he is ok. Bob says, "no my wife is so pissed at me." Frank says really, "tell me what you said when you got home." Bob says, "well, as I was getting to the drive way I turned off my truck & the lights and let it roll the rest of the way up. I taook my shoes off outside, so that I don't make any noise while walking. I didn't take off any of my clothes for fear of waking the wife up. Then when I thought I had done it, my wife rolled over and asked if I knew what time it was and then let me have it." Frank said, "you are using the wrong approach entirely! I come powersliding into the driveway. Slam the front door open and closed. Stop into the bedroom. Get butt-as5 naked and yell, WHOSE HORNY!! She acts as if she is asleep every time."