Your already backing out of quitting. Get help lad.. the doc can prescribe another pain med after your next surgery, just let him know about your addiction now. 5 or 6 pills right now can turn much worse. I have known people that took as many as 30+ a day. ruined their lives and its very costly.

 

Then you well never quit til you are TRULY ready. I just got out of a 10week treatment. No doctor, parent, teacher, shrink... you name it will stop you from using.


Its truly all on your own. im 3months sober (you name it ive done it) and it was hell to stop. but I TRULY wanted to quit.
Its all will power & TRULY wanting to be sober.

I said I wanted to quit 100 times and i was never real with myself. and would always start using again my drug of choice was pot cocain & alcohol. I recently was caught up with the law. spent time in jail, got fired from my job & lost my home over drugs. Its not worth it. But its all in yourself... no one else will ever change it but YOU.

 

heard of ultram is a non-narcotic pain killer?

 

what's the latest schmiddy? been worried about ya brotha

 

^ +1. And god willing if there is anything i, we, can do etc, chat, or whatever just ask. Will be glad to help ya in any way possible bro.

 

FK forum ate my post.


Anyways.. Im losing the fight, i guess is the best way to put it. I was doing well, Then stress built up. my shoulder hurt a bit...so i called the doctor, he said come in. (im having surgery on it in like 2 weeks) and sure enough..he gave me 60 more pills.. SO...



There they were, sitting on my night stand..We had a solid staring contest. I sat there..and I looked at the bottle for about 20 minutes. Realizing if im going to make it through work I am going to have to take them....I knew i shouldnt. I knew what was going to happen...Sure enough..i get off work, and i need more. i wake up the next day..shoulder felt good, but sure enough..i took a few more...That night i had taken alot. and i just wanted to lay there..so i didnt even go to work. To be honest i just took 4 about 20 minutes ago. This surgery is VERY painfull, and i figured while im already hooked on them ill just stay this way untill my surgery..And after my surgery..while i wont be working much anyways..look into some treatment. I am just so emberassed to tell my family about my addiction. it makes me feel weak..and i have been beaten by some lousy pills. But I just cant stop. But after my surgery I will tell my parents I have problem..I think they already see it. i think they are just waiting for me to tell them..

 

and this is why i don't take pills. i don't even like taking medicine for headaches. i understand though. i had a friend who went off on another friend cause they had lost 1 pill in their car and couldn't find it. get help while you're still young.

 

Rehab man, seriously. I had a friend I was in treatment with in college OD and die a couple months ago on vicadin and valium. He had a 10 year old daughter who has alot of trouble understanding it. At this stage it sounds like you have no choice but to seek help from someone other than yourself. You will always find a way to talk yourself into it whether its today or 6 months off it. Also you may need medical treatment just to kick it. The withdrawal symtoms can actually kill if you take to much for too long.

By the way if you are honest with your doctor they will give you a non-narcotic pain killer. You can't blame your doctor or the pain. Flush those pills and get something else that won't get you hooked for the pain, or keep lying to yourself and destroy your life.

The doctor should be happy to refer you to free treatment, like 12-step groups or whatever,but like I said if its bad enough you may need hospitalization and in-patient treatment which can be partially covered by your federal, state, and/or county governmentand even some insurance.

 

^^ Yeah..the thing is i know im destroying my life..the best years of it atleast. I just sit at home these days..my friends call me and i find myself hitting the ignore button. because i just want to take some pillls and watch TV or listen to music. Ive been getting some PM support from some of you and it means alot to me. It really does. I think some of this could be from depression. when i was 16 i took about every pill in my house i could find..my mom found me twitching on the floor and got me to the ER in time to save me. ii dont take the anti depressants. I obviously use these..some people drink..some people pop pills..but most people just deal with it..but this stuff is so goddamn addicting it could find the weakness in anyone.

 

I guess you are not ready to change yourself. Look yourself in the mirror and tell you will change and do it!!