A ROOSTER CALLED JACOB
Trevor the farmer was in the fertilised egg business. He had several hundred young layers (hens), called 'pullets' and eight or ten roosters, whose job it was to fertilise the eggs. The farmer kept records and any rooster that didn't perform went into the soup pot and was replaced.

That took an awful lot of his time so he bought a set of tiny bells and attached them to his roosters. Each bell had a different tone so Trevor could tell from a distance, which rooster was performing. Now he could sit on the porch and fill out an efficiency report simply by listening to the bells.

The farmer's favourite rooster was old Jacob, and a very fine specimen he was too. But on this particular morning Trevor noticed old Jacob's bell hadn't rung at all! Trevor went to investigate. The other roosters were chasing pullets, bells-a-ringing. The pullets, hearing the roosters coming, would run for cover.

But to farmer Trevor's amazement, Jacob had his bell in his beak, so it couldn't ring. He'd sneak up on a pullet, do his job and walk on to the next one.

Trevor was so proud of Jacob, he entered him in the Polokwane Country Fair and Jacob became an overnight sensation among the judges. The result was the judges not only awarded Jacob the No Bell Piece Prize but they also awarded him the Pullet Surprise as well.

Clearly Jacob was a Pulletician in the making: Who else but a Pulletician could figure out how to win two of the most highly coveted awards on our planet by being the best at sneaking up on the populace and screwing them when they weren't paying attention.

Do you perhaps know of a Pulletician called Jacob?

 

A new young **** showed up in the barn yard. The old wise rooster told the new arrival, "Chase me around the farmyard 4 times. If you can catch me in that time you get to take over the flock. However, if I get away I get to use you as my hen. 1-2-3-GO and off he ran. The farmer who was sitting on the front porch witnessed the first run and then the second run and then went to get his shotgun. On the third run he blasted the young rooster. Under his breath the farmer said, "That was the 3rd gay rooster this month."

 

How Irish dancing was born.................

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m0rrL...e_gdata_player

Brings a whole new meaning to "river dance "

Waiting for Sprock to explode hehehe

 

Here's a riddle:

At the exact same time, there are two 35-year-old men on opposite
sides of the earth.

One is walking a tight rope between two skyscrapers at the 85th floor.
The other is getting oral sex from an 85-year-old toothless woman.

They are both thinking the exact same thing... What are they both
thinking?

 

Don't look down!

 

bwaaaaa hah haaaa .............nice one TIM

Oh and Pete ........... very frickken funny .....could be a fact too !

 

I know this was wrong of me but it ended up being a good laugh thought I would share



crashking
Senior Member

Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: 40 miles west of St.Louis
Posts: 179
LJ harp stalking me or what?????
so iam at lunch with some buddies from work and i get this text from 775-***-1287 that says
"i see you dont turn around" and naturally I turn around then I get another text"I said dont turn around!!" at this point im like what the Fuvk!!!


and not 2 minutes later I get a phone call saying"Ill be watching you"....WTF!!!!!!


so start to freak out a lil bit came to the cpu did a reverse # look up and the # from las vegas Nevada...


then im like who the hell would know my # from there

put the # into google and a link https://cbrforum.com/forum/general-tech-9/custom-decals-cbrf-119009/

and its LJ harp who lives in nevada!!!!!!

so I text back WTF LJ...no reply...sent a PM ...no reply

call back the # like a million times no answer.....

this is to much of a coicendence(so)

If this is some kind of mistake im sorry but please LJ answer the phone or someone PM me what and the hell is going on im freaking out

I like you LJ but this is to fuvking weird man if its you call me back and explain to me what and the hell is going on so that I have some peice of mind bout this issue and please stop!!!!!


is this a joke or something??????

 

^^^fail

Everyone should be married at least once, no one deserves to be happy their whole life.