Crazy Neighbors...
#1
04-18-2009, 01:05 PM
Crazy Neighbors...
Anyone have whacko neighbors like I do?
I have them on both sides of me!
The lady on the left is nuts about her yard and she mows it every other day. First with a riding mower, then with a pushmower.
When I mow mine, she has a fit if any of MY grass clippings get into her yard. She comes out with a broom and actually sweeps these rogue clippings back into my yard. (yes, with a broom!) She told me last year that I need to buy a bagger, and I need to mow my yard more.
She even called me up one time because my dog peed on her bushes!! In fact, I was outside throwing the frisbee to my dogs when it happened. When I came back inside, I had two messages on my answering machine from her, telling me what happened! She advised me that if the bush died, I was responsible.
I make a game of it now. I think it's funny.
She also has these two fat little dogs, and my border collie likes to run full boar and slam into the one for some reason. He knocks that little dog **** over tin cups. I always act like it's an accident, but I watch for her to let her dogs out, then I let my dog Raider out so he can slam away. It's hilarious.
My dog is the nicest dog ever, and he won't bite the little dogs, he just likes to "play" with the really fat one.
It's just getting nice around here, so the war is on!!
I'm a bad, bad boy...
I have them on both sides of me!
The lady on the left is nuts about her yard and she mows it every other day. First with a riding mower, then with a pushmower.
When I mow mine, she has a fit if any of MY grass clippings get into her yard. She comes out with a broom and actually sweeps these rogue clippings back into my yard. (yes, with a broom!) She told me last year that I need to buy a bagger, and I need to mow my yard more.
She even called me up one time because my dog peed on her bushes!! In fact, I was outside throwing the frisbee to my dogs when it happened. When I came back inside, I had two messages on my answering machine from her, telling me what happened! She advised me that if the bush died, I was responsible.
I make a game of it now. I think it's funny.
She also has these two fat little dogs, and my border collie likes to run full boar and slam into the one for some reason. He knocks that little dog **** over tin cups. I always act like it's an accident, but I watch for her to let her dogs out, then I let my dog Raider out so he can slam away. It's hilarious.
My dog is the nicest dog ever, and he won't bite the little dogs, he just likes to "play" with the really fat one.
It's just getting nice around here, so the war is on!!
I'm a bad, bad boy...
#2
04-18-2009, 02:50 PM
#3
04-18-2009, 05:29 PM
Guest
Posts: n/a
Neighbor problems
So, you know that I throw my old paint brushes on my neighbor's roof to shut her up, right!? This is what I would do to a neighbor like yours. First, support your dog and help **** on the bush with him! Drink a dark beer and eat some asparagus. Your **** will be smelly and dark!!! I always like to help my dog out in these pissy problems.
Second, buy some bird seed and throw it on her roof. The birds will scratch the heck out of her shingles and ruin the roof. That will make her attention go from the lawn to "those darn pesky birds on the roof."
Last, when she throws rocks at the birds to scare them away (mine throws rocks at the rabbits), take out your 44 mag and shot the rocks like sheet shooting (the Reno Cop next to us helps shoot the rocks!). All of the above has been done to my Nevada neighbor and she now doesn't even look in my direction.... I love this State...
P.S. I figure if I lived next door to me, I would move!!! Now get out some old paint brushes (still wet so they sick to the roof), some bird seed, a sixer of dark beer, some asparagus, and of course the 44 mag pistol and wait for your dog to **** and your neighbor to get pissed on.... I mean pissed off....
You guys get all the fun....
Second, buy some bird seed and throw it on her roof. The birds will scratch the heck out of her shingles and ruin the roof. That will make her attention go from the lawn to "those darn pesky birds on the roof."
Last, when she throws rocks at the birds to scare them away (mine throws rocks at the rabbits), take out your 44 mag and shot the rocks like sheet shooting (the Reno Cop next to us helps shoot the rocks!). All of the above has been done to my Nevada neighbor and she now doesn't even look in my direction.... I love this State...
P.S. I figure if I lived next door to me, I would move!!! Now get out some old paint brushes (still wet so they sick to the roof), some bird seed, a sixer of dark beer, some asparagus, and of course the 44 mag pistol and wait for your dog to **** and your neighbor to get pissed on.... I mean pissed off....
You guys get all the fun....
#4
04-18-2009, 06:11 PM
Good ideas, guys!
I'm thinking I may wait for her to leave, and then do a big long burnout in her carport while she's gone.
I could also throw all my dog's poo into her yard. Or I could just train the border to go over to her house to do his business.
She hates poo in her yard. She picks it all up with a scooper.
Another thing she does that REALLY ticks me off, is that instead of walking down to her mailbox to get her mail (only like 15yrds), she stops in the middle of the road with her car and gets it out of the box through her car window! Every time she does it, she almost causes an accident. We live by a big hill and it's dangerous as hell. Lazy woman.
I'm thinking I may wait for her to leave, and then do a big long burnout in her carport while she's gone.
I could also throw all my dog's poo into her yard. Or I could just train the border to go over to her house to do his business.
She hates poo in her yard. She picks it all up with a scooper.
Another thing she does that REALLY ticks me off, is that instead of walking down to her mailbox to get her mail (only like 15yrds), she stops in the middle of the road with her car and gets it out of the box through her car window! Every time she does it, she almost causes an accident. We live by a big hill and it's dangerous as hell. Lazy woman.
#5
04-18-2009, 07:56 PM
I had a similar neighbor so i used to help him out by fertilizing his lawn while he was out with liquid fertilizer! man did it grow and kept him busy right through summer, mowing at least twice a week.
I then made up some roundup (grass killer) and froze it as ice cubes, tossed 3 or 4 on his back lawn and one on the front lawn, telling him that he had lawn grubs. It was the best watching as he mowed and sprayed all summer.
When we sold our house and moved (2 years later) i mixed up some fertilizer and while he was out wrote "****" in his front lawn. Drove past 2 months later and "****" was clearly visible in bright green grass....
I then made up some roundup (grass killer) and froze it as ice cubes, tossed 3 or 4 on his back lawn and one on the front lawn, telling him that he had lawn grubs. It was the best watching as he mowed and sprayed all summer.
When we sold our house and moved (2 years later) i mixed up some fertilizer and while he was out wrote "****" in his front lawn. Drove past 2 months later and "****" was clearly visible in bright green grass....
#6
04-18-2009, 08:22 PM
Guest
Posts: n/a
Yer , I know the crazy next door gardener thing well here ...
This guy has a power tool for every freakin thing you can imagine..
He mows his grass with a normal petrol mower at least every 2-3 days.. but he has more !!
He has a power fertilizer spreader to make the bloody chit grow faster so he can mow it more ?
He has a lawn bowl green mower (a roller mower to give his grass a babies bum smooth finish, he has the power edger and a petrol whipper sniper and to top it all off he has this bloody power lawn aerator that he drives around spiking the grass to let water and fertilizer in better..
But I have a secret weapon against him... I collect all the snails in our garden when I see them (and we get quite a few) and I go stand up on our top deck overlooking his yard ... (getting the picture om painting LOL)
I target every corner of his bloody yard and I chuck all these bastard snails over the fence to play in his garden..
I call it my garden critter relocation program and freakin pay back for all his bloody noise!!
Kerri thinks om nuts ...and she could be right
, but even she laughs her head off when she spots me ....in the dark, cold can in one hand , out on the deck , pitching one snail after the next, evenly all over his yard
kilgoretrout....yu should get a spay bottle with an ajustable jet , fill it with a little weed killer , find yourself a comfy spot hidden from her , grab a coldie, relax and let her garden have it from over your yard ... LOL
This guy has a power tool for every freakin thing you can imagine..
He mows his grass with a normal petrol mower at least every 2-3 days.. but he has more !!
He has a power fertilizer spreader to make the bloody chit grow faster so he can mow it more ?
He has a lawn bowl green mower (a roller mower to give his grass a babies bum smooth finish, he has the power edger and a petrol whipper sniper and to top it all off he has this bloody power lawn aerator that he drives around spiking the grass to let water and fertilizer in better..
But I have a secret weapon against him... I collect all the snails in our garden when I see them (and we get quite a few
) and I go stand up on our top deck overlooking his yard ... (getting the picture om painting LOL)I target every corner of his bloody yard and I chuck all these bastard snails over the fence to play in his garden..
I call it my garden critter relocation program and freakin pay back for all his bloody noise!!
Kerri thinks om nuts ...and she could be right
, but even she laughs her head off when she spots me ....in the dark, cold can in one hand , out on the deck , pitching one snail after the next, evenly all over his yard
She even called me up one time because my dog peed on her bushes!! In fact, I was outside throwing the frisbee to my dogs when it happened. When I came back inside, I had two messages on my answering machine from her, telling me what happened! She advised me that if the bush died, I was responsible.
#7
04-19-2009, 09:27 AM
Some very good ideas!
otr002, I like your fertilizer trick. I might have to steal that idea. I'm thinking instead of "****" I might go with "cvnt".
Steve, your situation sounds very similar to mine. She does all the same stuff to her yard. I haven't seen her out with the aerator yet, but I bet she has one.
I heard her talking to the other neighbor about me yesterday. "He just doesn't care", they say!!
Excuse me if I work 7 days a week and don't have time to plant flowers...
I'd imagine that if I didn't work like her, I STILL wouldn't be planting flowers. I'd be riding my old girl across the country, i suppose...
I have a feeling that this is gonna be a fun summer with this old hag!
otr002, I like your fertilizer trick. I might have to steal that idea. I'm thinking instead of "****" I might go with "cvnt".
Steve, your situation sounds very similar to mine. She does all the same stuff to her yard. I haven't seen her out with the aerator yet, but I bet she has one.
I heard her talking to the other neighbor about me yesterday. "He just doesn't care", they say!!
Excuse me if I work 7 days a week and don't have time to plant flowers...
I'd imagine that if I didn't work like her, I STILL wouldn't be planting flowers. I'd be riding my old girl across the country, i suppose...
I have a feeling that this is gonna be a fun summer with this old hag!
#8
04-19-2009, 10:22 PM
#9
04-20-2009, 02:51 PM
He he... I like the half and half trick, too. Might take too long, though, and she'd catch me!
After you siphoned the gas into the roses, did you strike a match? That'd be fun! That would prove you weren't stealing the gas, at least..
Cops: "Sir, did you steal your neighbor's gas?"
You: "Nope, just used it to kill her rose bushes"
After you siphoned the gas into the roses, did you strike a match? That'd be fun! That would prove you weren't stealing the gas, at least..
Cops: "Sir, did you steal your neighbor's gas?"
You: "Nope, just used it to kill her rose bushes"
#10
04-21-2009, 09:31 AM