ORIGINAL: TennesseeCBRF2

I was in college at a fraternity keg party, and I ran into my ex from 8th grade. She had blossomed quite nicely, so I started scheming on how to sleep with her. She had an ugly friend with her (not fat, just ugly).
The ex and I were talking, and things were going great... things were even looking like I might get a 3some with the ugly chick... until my ex did a keg stand. It was VERY impressive for a girl her size, and as soon as we put her legs down she was hammered. I knew that ruined any chance of me getting laid, but I offered to let her stay at my place anyway since I lived just a couple blocks away.
Her friend and I were dragging her to my house, and she was passed out before we got there. We threw her into my bed, then we started watching TV. She started making the moves on me, and I thought, "What the hell? She's ugly, but at least I'll get some." She got naked and she turned out to be one of those natural chicks... didn'tgroomthat specialpart of her body! I figured it was too late to back out, so I picked my way through the bush and went down on it... then I wore it out like it was the last vagina on earth. When we finished, I stayed on the couch and she went to sleep in my roommate's bed.
Later, he came home from the same party, and I woke up to the sound him banging the hairy ugly girl. I teased him about getting my sloppy seconds, and he called me "the strange muff diver." To this day, my college buddies still call me that.