Marred for 18+ years with much squids inhabiting my casa and I've learned that there are no answers. Have lived with my wife longer than I did my parents and there are occasions that I have no clue what the hell she is going on about. Have found that not reacting (which is my natural tendency) is sometimes seen as indifference. So I make it a conscience point to react to certain things.

A huge battle I actually won was the talking/TV debate. Seems I could fart around with 10 feet of her for hours and nothing ... but 30 seconds after turning on the tube, and being instantly zombified, she asks me something deep that needs thought to answer. Will not tell you how I won this one but believe me when I tell you it is a victory I cherish

And I believe Woo has feelings ...

Quick Edit: Went to counseling once at the wife's and therapists request. Turned into a 2 on 1 (ya, the 2 womens against me) so I told the therapist she was a friggin quack and that I could get bitched at for free at home so I wasn't spending $200 on her bullspit anymore. Then walked out. I was very popular at my house for about a month after that. That was prolly 14 years ago and we are still doing fine with no counseling.

 

Bawahaha

Actually that`s a common misconception of my online persona. I actually have the emotions of a rock or as the neighbors say, "Someone needs to install the emotion chip."

 

NUP....we just sometimes give the illusion.......

 

I am very emotional, being such a people person and all.

 

Seriously good post right there, well said.

 

Sometimes, it is better to have a relationship not work and give the kids an opportunity to see how a good relationship should work.

 

Adam, I am going to start asking questions here then I will give my verdict ok??

Did you know marriage counselling rarely if ever works, its a myth ..who suggested it you or her??

Give me a percentage of the peace verus the war??

These temper tantrums or flare ups or whatever is making you uncomfortable ..how often?? All the time in spits and spats or is there long periods of peace then wham!! ??

Jules

 

I'm with X here. This was a good response. I'd like to add to it that I've heard and believe that its better and healthierfor children to come from a broken home than be inone.

 

Well going home was awkwardly comfortable and she seemed to be at ease. I had a talk with her to address the issue. She just explained that *I was doing so good and then you stopped*. Its hard to explain, but from my view, she is expressing that she is feeling emptiness where I should be filling her with good gestures and quality time. Well, I have been, and I spent last weekend with her and some of her family (cut firewood with her & her dad/ate dinner at her grandmothers). And I touched a few different positive points.

Then I told her that I don’t care that she didnt make that *hate list*, what is more important is that she is able to see me as who I am and what I do. Retarded, unorganized, persistent, spaz and all, if I need to make more decisions to make her life easier, so be it but she better accept what I choose. She needs to address this now in life so that we aren’t sinking a knife into one another after 10 years of our lives are gone. I told her flat out that I love her and plan to marry her, just not the (fingers out) *snake eyes* angry about everything that wants to control everything.

I made a point of saying realistically, if we can tolerate each other, we need to set down a plan for where to be in 6-10 years when I can finish my education and start living life and be comfortable with life. Ive had the talk before, and its just a fact that we need to cope thru hard times now to really enjoy easier life later. We don’t live in hell or anything, but we drive **** boxes and rent, its just the way its gonna be for now.

And the drama continues ...


-Jules, Ill get ya a PM soon

-Broken home, Ive seen much worse, but any hate between us cant exist. Like I said, I do my best to keep it one sided and not fuel her