Honestly man, it's not always. If I'm completely honest, I'll tell you I just probably got involved with the wrong girl. But I'm too in love with her to care about that anymore and I'm sticking it out to the end.

There are girls who will love you with everything in them, never leave, etc. There are girls that seem to love you like that, then one day just leave. There are girls that will flip around both sides of the spectrum and will drive you crazy. It's all about which one you get.

It's like reaching into the raffle bin, cept the tickets are girls and not all of them are prizes. You never know what you've gotten into for a while. But that's why the great tradition of dating has been established, to find out before you commit the rest of your life with them

 

Let's hope I pick a winner. o.o

 

Man, I haven't read through all of the posts cause some of em are a little long and I have an attention span this || long :P but I guess my advice is to start addressing these issues with her (and you seem to have already done it) I dunno, try to figure out what you two enjoyed in the relationship before it started to crumble and figure out what changed.

Half of the time I've had a relationship go to **** it was because of some issue that the girl had with me but didn't want to address it. One girl felt that she was being unfair by having a problem with the way I acted so she wanted to deal with it on her own.. but it ate the relationship from the inside out. That was a relationship I probably could have salvaged if we had figured out our problems earlier, but, who knows.

I dun really know, just gl with working it out.

 

Less than 2 years and you guys have already been to counseling...sorry broskie but it doesn't look good.

I've been with my gf for a little over 5 years, pretty much trouble free...and in super high stress situations like working 40+ hours a week each and going to school 6 classes a week each. We have a very clear line between us, all bills that are shared(ie, not car payment, personal credit cards, etc) are split 50/50...I see a lot of dudes paying rent for a place and letting their gf live there or paying for a gf's car...fawk that, that **** turns into unfiltered, pure concentrated contempt. Also gotta know where to draw the line with personality...a person can change only so much and it's not very much either. If you lower your defenses and change something important to you, that's it, you're done...they'll be doing it all the time little by little. Would you really destroy the person you are to be with someone? You might now but in the end your own 'person' will overcome all of that and you'll be, again, loaded with contempt and find yourself wondering wtf happened.

 

dude, not to say it cant work, (I dont know why this is either, im just gonna put it up) but statistics and psychology show that cohabitation b4 marriage usually doesn't end well for that very reason. Everything is 50/50, but it's not like that in marriage. Some things go off the 50/50 scale for both sides.

HOWEVER, if there's clear understanding and communication, it's a different story, communication is KEY!!!!!!!!!

 

I'm not claiming that's the glue that holds us together...there's a million reasons why but the biggest one is that we just aren't at each other's throats to change this or that...never once have I had to change something significant about myself in 5 years and to not be able to say the same thing after less than 2 years then there's def gonna be problems.

Never once did I feel compelled to get on a message board and lay it out on the table "why it isn't" rather than "why it is"...there's your first sign the storm is coming.

 

touche, which is why i was just stating

relationships CAN follow statistics, but that's not what it's about, they don't define them. It's about the two people involved in it and their strength/love/personalities

 

Adam, since you dont mind it in the forum I will post what I feel ... firstly I am so very tired here its well gone midniht but I will say this ..

dont lose yourself ...dont take any crap, its obvious you are tryig to do the right things here by being a good dad and trying to meet her half way, the truth is she sounds like a control freak to me, a brat, sorry but she does!! ... I will write more tomorrow but for now dont lose it, dont rise to any button pressing and dont have any knee jerk reactions .. it can sound hopless but there may be a fix ..I can help you but if it is hopless I will also be the first to tell you to bail, you have a child and another on the way, its worth trying to fix even if it fails you walk with a clear conscience ..I wish I wasnt so tired here ..just hang on in theree

Jules

 

I`m actually of the mindset now, it is better to go to counseling early in the relationship. That way you can learn some tools to keep the communication flowing properly and constructively. That way you learn the good habits from the get go and not get stuck in the bad ones you develop from being defensive.

Most people go to counseling when its too late to fix anything.

 

they are all crazy. If it is not something it is another. just this past week my girl moved in with me, we got engaged, Had one little snicker over whether i was to get her an ice cream sandwhich or go cuddle with her immediately turn into world war three and now she moved out broke up with me and wants a restraining order. get this? One of the last things she said to me was that i am ignorant, bi-polar and schizophrenic. i just want it to work and be happy with her but she seems unable to commit to me and her attitude towards us changes on an hourly basis. She lets everyone in her life influence her about us accept for me! I love her and i will not give up for anything short of death or a long jail sentence. For those of you who say "just leave her. There is plenty other fish in the sea." : you know not of the word love.


Patience and understanding is the goal.