I know there are plenty of happy women out there, just some seem to never be happy

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I go home for lunch today and my girl is having a mental breakdown! She is overwhelmed by the large number of medical bills I have from my broken arm this summer and she *cant stand me*. We have been going to counseling for the past half year, read about the love languages, and I have cut off most all my friends to try and devote any time I have to the family life.

Personally, she is a very controlling and angry person that I tried to split up with early on when we first met round Christmas of 2006. Not even a week later, she worked herself back into my life. Few months later and we conceived a child together (I know, dumb move #1). Well, Isince accepted the family life and have devoted myself to be a very supporting father/lover (not husband yet). I try my best to do what I can at home,have redone my F3 for her and picked up a second 400EXso we can both ride. Things had been going well thru most of the year and she had been wanting another child and I know we arent getting any younger so I made a go and unofficially we have another one on the way (Dumb move #2)

As with every couple, we seem to always bicker now and again, but I do my best to leave it one sided for I try not to get worked up/let it bother me. Well, today was one of the days where she is pissed at me for that very reason, *You never let anything bother you!*, *You never change, your irresponsible and retarded*, *I tell you again and again and you still don’t get it!*

So I took it all very calmly and didnt try to provoke by pointing fingers, I just told her to think long and hard to write down all the things she wants me to change so that I can see just what she is thinking and maybe let her see how inappropriate she is acting. I admit that I can see why she would be scared of being a single parent in the case of an accident when riding bike/quad, but that is why I gear up and dont mess around a high speeds. She wants me to stop flirting with stunting all together and *be normal*. Honestlly, I am by far no pro and have only got to play in a lot TWICE THIS YEAR!!!!

I feel that I have altered my life by never telling her no and doing anything to make here happy (avoid her going off) and now Im to the point that I mentally cant conceive what the hell will make her happy in life! Ive been here before and I just feel that theres nothin I/anyone can ever do to make this woman happy!

Guys singin the blues have been singin this same tone forever and now here I am airing my dirty laundry to you punks to see if you know of a given route that I havent yet explored

 

No. I just read the topic of the thread and answered you. I'll read the post later.

 

Adam, I am so sorry to hear this ... I wont offer advice on this in the open forum because I feel its quite personal to you and you two have a child together but you know where I am .. PM me and I will help you all I can :-)

Jules

EDIT: for the record I have been happy all my life, even when it sucked I got over it and got happy again ..some *people* though are never happy ...

 

I dont know what to say bud. I have a failed marriage and no kids so i dont think i can be much help. If i think of something for you though i will pm you about it.

 

hey man...i have had my issues with my wife and we were able to work through them...honestly...your approach is a sound one...to try and figure out what she expects of you...but you have to return the favor and tell her what you expect of HER....from a real brief thought...it seems that she comes ultimately comes first in all forms and well that may be good to keep things at bay, resentment WILL set in on your part and it seems it is creepin in from your post....

for the sake of your sanity, hers, and your children...take some time and try to figure out what you both want and NEED....relationships cannot be singular, i learned that the hard way....you can't let one person dominate a relationship because so many bad things will end up happening...it never works out...that's not to say things can't work out for you, but you really need to set out a plan for you too or something will break...either you or her or both....

like i said, i have been through quite a bit and am happy to say my wife and i (and now our son) are VERY happy and we were at the brink at one point so it is entirely possible to bounce back but you have to work at it so that at some point you won't have to work at it (if that makes sense)....

if you need someone to chat with that has gone through a rough spell, hit me up in PM....i am all for helping people avoid the mistakes i made...good luck man!

 

rule i like...ditch the bitch

seems to work for me...i have a really nice girl right now..nothin like the last one

 

Stop that you!! ..theres children involved


Jules

 

agreed...when kids are involved, you have to tread a little more lightly....not to say that parting ways might not be the best option, but it can't be the knee-jerk option

 

Yeah, I can see what your saying ffingers. Just seems that anything that makes me happy has to involve her or else she gets real pissed. Or I cant ask her where she wants to eat because she gets pissed, or I cant suggest her to go the speed limit because she gets pissed! See the pattern, when times are good, their great, but its when shes moody and irritable that I want her locked away from society to sit in her own anger and ****. I try my best and giving it my all to be a happy influence to our daughter cause I fear mom may pass on her pissyness to baby girl. Like I said, its not always bad, Jamie just has a way shorter fuse than I have seen anyone have.

Her childhood messed her up some and she was a very violent young person, so I guess Im living with a bronco. The worse part is that after the fact she is able to see her wrong doing, and regrets it.

Jules, you know just how I am, we sound very alike. Unless my life is in danger, nothing bad can happen


Edit; this is some pretty personal ****, so feel free to let it fly in the forum. No need for PMs, I have been anaylizing this situation since it started and am just pokin for outside ideas.

 

i have to disagree.. coming from a divorced family, the hell of their divorce was nothing compared to the hell of listening to them fight non stop, and seeing then just hate stare each other.

definately ditch it if its not working.. remember no shame.. more than %50 of relationships dont work in this country so just take the hit like a punch to the lip.. love the kids and keep on keepin on..