Surprise!!!!!!!!
#31
03-13-2009 | 03:03 AM
Senior Member
Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 1,127
Likes: 10
From: United Kindgdom
Sorry to hear about your situation.
Here is my $.02.
There is no graceful exit strategy. The kids know. Dragginng it out over an extended time gives the kids some hope of reconcilliation is possible so it really isn't in their interest to co-habitate.
You only get so many tommorrows...don't waste yours with someone who doesn't want to be there. Take her down off the pedastal.
I watched my parents live out this scenario. It dragged on for years and like a glacier changed the landscape forever.
My father finally got clear of it to start over, found meaningful companionship, love and a new career, and then passed suddenly. Don't waste your tommorows.
Here is my $.02.
There is no graceful exit strategy. The kids know. Dragginng it out over an extended time gives the kids some hope of reconcilliation is possible so it really isn't in their interest to co-habitate.
You only get so many tommorrows...don't waste yours with someone who doesn't want to be there. Take her down off the pedastal.
I watched my parents live out this scenario. It dragged on for years and like a glacier changed the landscape forever.
My father finally got clear of it to start over, found meaningful companionship, love and a new career, and then passed suddenly. Don't waste your tommorows.
^^^
Everyone, really listen to this guy!! :-)
Jules
#32
03-13-2009 | 05:37 AM
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Member
Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 45
Likes: 0
From: new jersey
want to thank everyone for trying to help me through this. Will definetly listen to everything you guys(and ladies) told me and make some good decisions.Woke up this morning with a different attitude, I'm going to stop the pity party for myself and definetly have a good day and have a drink and some laughs with my friends.
#33
03-13-2009 | 08:13 AM
Member
Joined: Jan 2009
Posts: 50
Likes: 0
From: bethany.de.
something like 30% of marrages end in divorce by year 20..i would not be in the house when your daughter is not home be somewhere else ..garage .yard.. friends..not bar...buy yourself little tape recorder and get a seperate bank account at a DIFFERENT bank and a P.O. box...if you pay bills on line cancel the set up change pass words get new credit cards remove your name from old ones ..cash advance may be her last step out the door...and do not ansewer any of your wifes questions about any of the above or any other part of your personal life.....that is personal info and she no longer has access to your personal life...it is not a hard line against her just a reality that she is not entitled to that info....and along the same lines you dont get to question her......... keep your head up
#34
03-13-2009 | 04:25 PM
Senior Member
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 516
Likes: 0
From: Portsmouth, Ohio
Chief I hate to hear it. I know what you're going thru cause the same thing happened to me, only I still had kids at home. I've done a lot of observing since then and I have come to the conclusion that 90% of the time there is someone else in the pictureor at least a good prospect. Unfortunately our laws encourage divorce. My ex took me for a bout $240,000 and a considerable portion of my monthly income and then married a guy who makes 3 times what I do. Basically left me broke and now lives the high life with her income, my support and her new guys income. Thats when I learned that lies, cheating and immoral activity really does pay....lol Life is not like the movies.....when you do the right thing all your life, you can get screwed!!!
I wish you the best of luck!!!!
I wish you the best of luck!!!!
#35
03-13-2009 | 05:04 PM
Senior Member
Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 663
Likes: 1
From: Brooklyn
This will be very tough, but we're all wishing you the best. Once you go through this, though, you will have a chance to put yourself in a happier situation. A good divorce is better than a bad marriage, and if one partner thinks it's bad, then it's bad.
You should speak to a lawyer as soon as possible.
If your child is grown and off to college, why would there be child support? Child support would be if she were the custodial parent of a minor child.
Why alimony? She has a job. I think the only way she could get alimony is if she could convince a judge that she abandoned her own education or career to support yours, and therefore her earning potential was reduced while your earning power was increased. That doesn't sound like what has happened here.
She will get half your 401K, half the proceeds of the house sale, and half of anything else you acquired during your marriage, except inheritances.
You should speak to a lawyer as soon as possible.
If your child is grown and off to college, why would there be child support? Child support would be if she were the custodial parent of a minor child.
Why alimony? She has a job. I think the only way she could get alimony is if she could convince a judge that she abandoned her own education or career to support yours, and therefore her earning potential was reduced while your earning power was increased. That doesn't sound like what has happened here.
She will get half your 401K, half the proceeds of the house sale, and half of anything else you acquired during your marriage, except inheritances.
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