Surprise!!!!!!!!
#11
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Newcastle, N.S.W. Australia
Posts: 2,473
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Talk about taking a kick to the groin. I kinda of know where your coming from, my 1st marriage ended like that, but I did not have as much time/money invested in it.
Its an assault on both fronts, emotional one though is the worse, can't really give to much advice here, because this type of thing affects everyone differently. I can tell you that its going to be an emotional roll a coaster ride, one minute your all cynical & almost happy about it & the next your broken up, blaming yourself & so on.
Get in touch with a support group ASAP, yeah I know it sounds whoosy, but apart from the emotional support, its a good place for the type of resources your going to need, legal & financial advice, these places know the drill & can help big time.
Your right though, you will get through it & it may be the opportunity you have been waiting for to finally do wot ever it was that your wife had been holding you back from. Good luck & more power to you.
Its an assault on both fronts, emotional one though is the worse, can't really give to much advice here, because this type of thing affects everyone differently. I can tell you that its going to be an emotional roll a coaster ride, one minute your all cynical & almost happy about it & the next your broken up, blaming yourself & so on.
Get in touch with a support group ASAP, yeah I know it sounds whoosy, but apart from the emotional support, its a good place for the type of resources your going to need, legal & financial advice, these places know the drill & can help big time.
Your right though, you will get through it & it may be the opportunity you have been waiting for to finally do wot ever it was that your wife had been holding you back from. Good luck & more power to you.
#12
#14
If you have been supporting her for that long then unless she has a serious fallback crutch
she will not make it alone and it may even take a year or more but she will be back with a new knowledge of appreciation for you.
Just put the divorce off as long as possible and the more she tries to squeeze out of you the more you are going to have to secure your own assets. I think that when a relationship gets into the shallow and material faze its every man/woman for themselves.
That is why i say, put it off as long as possible so you have time to prepare and then you will be somewhat ready and if she decides otherwise then all the better. Just know that if she has it in her mind for sure you will need to be ready. Try to save it. If that doesn't work you will have at least #1 tried and #2 prepared for the worse. I think that if you do know her that well you can accomplish whatever you put your mind to. It should be worth it either way.
You have un-knowingly given me the advice in the form of a word such as "pre-nup" and i want to thankyou for that.
she will not make it alone and it may even take a year or more but she will be back with a new knowledge of appreciation for you.
Just put the divorce off as long as possible and the more she tries to squeeze out of you the more you are going to have to secure your own assets. I think that when a relationship gets into the shallow and material faze its every man/woman for themselves.
That is why i say, put it off as long as possible so you have time to prepare and then you will be somewhat ready and if she decides otherwise then all the better. Just know that if she has it in her mind for sure you will need to be ready. Try to save it. If that doesn't work you will have at least #1 tried and #2 prepared for the worse. I think that if you do know her that well you can accomplish whatever you put your mind to. It should be worth it either way.
You have un-knowingly given me the advice in the form of a word such as "pre-nup" and i want to thankyou for that.
#15
guess it is a money thing in the way that i supported her our whole married life and i get thrown under the bus like this.But i guess that just because i took care of her all those years doesn't mean she HAS to love me forever.Very complicated time right now but one things for sure-my kid thinks the world of me and that's the most important thing in my life.
I can't see why she has to get half the assets when SHE wants out. That's a disgrace.
I ended mine after 20 years with a nut case, but it cost me house, car, furniture, the lot.
(I'd do it again in a heartbeat)No pre-nup agreement - bad move.......
If she's walking, she shouldn't expect you to sell anything or give up what you've built.
It's unreasonable and unfair.
#17
It really depresses me, and makes me worry about the rest of my life, when I see situations like this.
Why would you need a prenuptial when you're about to marry the woman of your dreams, who you will spend the rest of your life with and who would never betray you by leaving you and taking half your life with her?
Best of luck to you, my friend.
Why would you need a prenuptial when you're about to marry the woman of your dreams, who you will spend the rest of your life with and who would never betray you by leaving you and taking half your life with her?
Best of luck to you, my friend.
#18
had a long talk with her last night and she has NO plans on making it work.We will try to remain friends through this mess.started to talk about the financial part and came to the conclusion that if i moved out and got an apartment,we wouldn't be able to also pay the mortgage on top of that.So that means until the house is paid off i think my new bed is the couch.The way the housing market is right now i will get killed selling my house in the near future.Yeah i know that sucks but at least i still live with my kid. Oh-i told her that if and when she gets a new boyfriend i better not see him on these premises or i will wind up in jail.i'm not going to be sleeping on the couch when someone else is sleeping in my room.don't think she would ever do something like that but i'm not even giving her the chance to think about it.so that's the situation fo now we'll see what happens next
#19
George, I am so sorry to hear of all your problems ... what I can tell you is that despite some advice to try and work it out, you won't be able to ... if the love has died it never comes back, when any partner has lowered their level of interest or love in you to actually say the words "it's over" or "we need a break" or anything along those lines there is no going back .. in some cases it may work out for a while but the same old will just reoccur ... it simply sounds like she has lost her love for you ..I am so sorry!!
I hope you don't lose too much and that everything will be fair for you ... I sometimes can't believe when I hear of the things your country does and how it favours the woman especially when she wants out ..Shadow is right, if she wants to go she should just go ...
Also time will heal this and it may take a while but you really will be fine in the long run ... the quicker this ends though and you can move on the better
Best wishes :-)
Jules
I hope you don't lose too much and that everything will be fair for you ... I sometimes can't believe when I hear of the things your country does and how it favours the woman especially when she wants out ..Shadow is right, if she wants to go she should just go ...
Also time will heal this and it may take a while but you really will be fine in the long run ... the quicker this ends though and you can move on the better
Best wishes :-)
Jules
#20