One reason why i never did and never would punch her is because i would simply smash her pretty little face in one swing. I am not one to disgrace things of beauty and i tend to look at myself as a peaceful person.
Its sad because i just know she is going to end up with a guy who will hit her. I pulled her out of that same situation. I think that is why. Because that is how she was always treated.

She would never come to counseling with me. She just doesn't have the spirit herself to improve her life so i tried to but couldn't handle the side effects.
A drug. That is exactly how it was.

I am running. I am running for my life!!!


I asked Mel Gibson if i could use his quote.

 

You can never "save" nor "change" a person, they have to make the change themselves. Been there done that, ain't ever going to do it again. You can't "liberate" a country for the same reasons, but that's neither here nor there.

 

Jules, you better stay cool around frozenpoet and watch what you say!!

 

lol naw, I just look/sound scary, I wouldn't hurt a fly even though I would love to smash the two flying around my house that wont leave me alone.

 

Have you ever watched a movie or TV show and you have this shocking feeling that you're watching your own life unfold? I'm not talking about a few slight coincidences, but something that is so similar it takes your breath?
Now you know how I felt when I read Endless’s post. I spent three years in the codependent relationship of the century. Seriously, to say it was “kind of messed up” is like saying Hitler was “kind of a bad guy.” We had screaming matches, holes in walls, cops called, you name it. Two perfectly normal, educated people that made dynamite when mixed.
We would say and do the worst things to each other and then be completely back in love the next day. Eventually it became like a rubber band. We were so used to stretching each other to the outer limits that eventually we never could get back to our normal “shape.” We broke up more times than Bobby and Whitney and had more reunions than Def Leppard.

My friends, my coworkers, my family, they all told me how I needed to get out of this relationship. It ruined 3 years of my life, cost me tens of thousands of dollars, and I almost lost my job over it. I put aside trust, integrity, and respect in the pursuit of that euphoric feeling that made up 10% of the relationship. I thought I would “never find anyone that made me feel… yada yada yada”
In the end, I finally decided it was enough. I thought I had reached this point dozens of times before, but this time I held firm and cut all ties. It was rough as hell at first. I used to go put my cell phone in the truck of my car so I wouldn’t be tempted to answer her calls or texts. Now (‘bout a year later) it feels like the best decision I ever made.

In the end, no matter what advice anyone gives you, you’re going to have to make a go at this one alone. You need to make the decision for yourself and stand by it. At what point does the misery overshadow any good that can come of it? I bet if you think about it, that happened long ago. Best of luck.

 

Well, i am only about 3k in so far with this girl but i am glad to see others make it out alive.
I swear i will end up in prison or dead if this continued so whatever common since was not sucked out of me is pushing me towards a better path. I still hear her in my thoughts...

whats a chipped tooth and a few bruises a little blood when i have the rest of my life?

I still cant bring myself to delete her from myspace or get rid of her pictures but i know its going to have to happen.
I have never been able to say no to her. I have already lost a fulltime job with full benefits because of her too.
Why do i still (after all of the logic and sense) think that there is hope?
It is like in order to let her go fully i have to let go of a few of my own hopes and dreams. Thats the hardest part i think.

 

I'm srry to hear about your hardships but I couldn't help but comment. You saying no to her and neve talking to her again wouldn't be losing your hopes and dreams. If you stay with this girl you will be in prison so much and have such a bad rap sheet, you won't ever have a decent job or a house or a family or any other dreams. College won't mean anything to an employer if you have been to prison more then OJ. Seriously one of my friends were going through the same stuff, he took pictures of his injuries caused by her and when the cops came, they arrested her instead of him. If you hadn't run that night and instead shown the cops the bruises and bitten lip ect, they would have arrested her for assault. Hands down. As for her stealing your identity, turn her into the cops for that too. Revenge is the best way to break up with someone. YOU WILL NEVER BE HAPPY IF YOU GO DOWN THE ROAD YOU ARE ALREADY ON.

 

You don't have to let go of your own hopes and dreams just because you let her go ... you can have the same hopes and dreams with someone else, someone rational, someone sane and calm ... someone who will be respectful of you as you are of them .. when you find that person then you can have your hopes and dreams for real :-)

As for her being like a drug, no amount of incredible sex is worth the ruination of your life and the torment of your soul, it just isn't ...how about really, really, really good sex with someone who truly loves you and you have a peaceful life with instead?? ...fact is anyway when you do find true love with someone amazing the sex is pretty incredible by definition ... so stop this now, pull the plug ..don't get revenge, don't antagonise her in any way, don't let her control your life anymore ... you have the power to just walk away, and *that* is a lot of power ....


Jules

 

okey,

 

What!!?? ..no more arguement from you?? ..no more, "I just can't resist her!!" ...you mean, we have actually managed to wear you down?? ...Good!! ..now go out and get yourself a new life!! :-)

Jules