Share some of your favorite jokes, please...




What's the difference between your job, and your wife? The job still sucks after ten years!

 

Your family is so poor, your mom made you eat cereal with a fork, so you could save the milk

 

lol..
whats green and smells funny?

hulks fart.

 

your momma is so old that your dad ate her out and got food poisioning

 

So two sausages are boiling in a pot... one sausage turns to the other and says "man, it sure is hot in here" and the other sausage, flabbergasted, says, "OH MY GOD! It's a talking sausage!"

Simple. Easy. Hilarious.

 

what did one vampire lesbian say to the other vampire lesbian?

see ya next month!

oh snap!

 

your momma is so black, she got in a jacuzzi and made coffee

 

Know what the leper said to the prostiute? Keep the tip.

 

What do you get when you cross a donkey with an onion?

A piece of *** that'll bring a tear to your eye.

 

Bono is at a U2 concert when he asks the audience for some quiet. Then in the silence, he starts to slowly clap his hands. Holding the audience in total silence, he says into the microphone... "Every time I clap my hands, a child in Africa dies." A voice from near the front pierces the silence... "Well, f***ing stop it then!"



Light a man a fire and keep him warm for a night. Light a man on fire and keep him warm for the rest of his life



A bloke goes into a pub bog to use the condom machine. Some drunk bastard is already using the machine, pushing coins in and giggling madly as the johnnies dispense. After five minutes of this, our man grows impatient and tells the drunk to hurry up.
"No way!" says the drunk, "I'm on a winning streak here!"





I heart b3ta
http://www.sickipedia.org/index.php?title=Main_Page