hahah well I might as well deal with them this summer because I'll be working two jobs and I'll need somewhere to stay. they both get up earlyish so I can always hope they'll be asleep when I'm home. Problem is my truck is too loud and wakes everyone up but I can try to sneak. Worst case its just dealing with them for 5 minutes about being late then going to bed.

But I'm glad the mentors at cbrf are here to help me I'll DEFINITELY be needing you guys this summer

 

Wow, this thread really brings back some memories.

I haven't checked federal loans recently, but when I wanted to go ~10 years ago if you were under 25 you couldn't get any federal or (usually) private loans without your parents tax info (it was a dependent/independent student thing).

The 'their house, their rules' stuff is legit. My parents, too, took the 'my way or the highway' approach to a lot of things.

That kind of backfired for them though: Given their way or the highway, I took the highway. It cost me a few years to go to college (because I had to wait until I was 25 until I could get my own loans) and they and I don't talk anymore (or, rather, when they try to talk to me, I ignore them. it helps that we live half a country away from each other.)

It all worked out. I financed my own undergraduate degree, am now financing a law degree, and will probably financing a doctorate after that. The earlier advice about there being money if you want it is legit, subject to the dependent/independent thing above.

Part of being a college student is making your own decisions, but neither I or anyone else can tell you what decisions those should be. Part of life is living with those consequences, whether it's adhering to their wishes or defying them.

 

I tried to post some long *** response but I guess it didn't go through.

basically,

whatever you decide to do - please grow a pair. mommy's boys disgust me.

1) you can move the **** out.
2) you can offer to pay rent to your parents, in return for getting them to leave you the **** alone while you stay there.
3) or, you can continue your current path which doesn't seem to be working.

i am so glad my parents aren't like yours, holy ****.

from what I gather, you are a GROWN *** MAN (21? 22?).

ACT LIKE ONE. My little 14 year old sister has more ***** than you, holy ****.

 

lmao...you must really not understand how **** works. your parents will never let you drop college and will fund your *** until you get a degree for that sweet career. call their bluff.

2nd: What do you think student loans are for? lol you think I had credit when I was 18?

are you really in college? cuz this reminds me of myself when I was fking 7.

 

1. I'm 19, I'll be 20 in december
2. I hate financial stuff. I'll work and earn money, but when it comes to taxes and keeping bank stuff strait I'm pretty much hopeless. I just don't care enough, I would rather spend my time doing something else.
3. Again, I'm not really an aggressive person. I never was. If its something serious that actually harms me or someone that I care about, then I'll get aggressive. But my parents never beat me or really did anything "wrong", they just grew up in families where they weren't allowed to do much as kids so they don't really know better (it doesn't help that they don't really talk to normal parents). Its tough to deal with them sometimes, but patience is worth a lot (with more than just this).

Again, I've gotten into arguments with them before. When I wasn't allowed to bring the bike down, I didn't talk to my mom once the whole 6 hour car ride. When I got out to take my bags to the dorm she started crying. That killed me because she didn't really deserve that. I felt like ****, and she has taken such good care of me. They both have really.

But yes, you guys are right that they do need to loosen up. I'll be talking to them within the first few days of being home, because I can't deal with all of the super tight restrictions.

 

I moved to the US when I was young and moved to the NL when I was 15. Around that time my father was selling his company to work in the US. Around 16 they moved to California. I've been living on my own since I was 16 which is why I'm really independent (I'm 25 now). Granted I lived in one of their apartments and I didn't pay rent back then but I started doing so around 17/18. They come here about once a year and when they do, they try to tell me what to do. It's just a parent thing I guess. I usually don't listen unless is something I could help them with. I'm sure as hell not going to be told what to do regarding my own things and life. My pops doesn't say much but he'll sometimes try to intimidate me a little which doesn't work at all. I used to fear him (no point reasoning with him when I was younger, I would just get spanked) a bit but that's a long time ago.

My mother is super neurotic, can be slightly paranoid and will talk about something completely different when you ask her a question (and not realizing what she's talking about is completely irrelevant). She assumes way too much and will listen too little. This frustrated the **** out of me.

Most people find it strange that I've been living on my own since I was that young but I like it. Our relationship is at it's best with an ocean between us (for me that it is anyway.) Sure I love my parents but once a year is enough for me. People also find it strange when I say I haven't missed them once since living on my own. It's just not my character (although I can really, really miss a gf I haven't seen for a few days..)

My mother was raised by ridiculously strict parents (she's Mexican) but she moved to and traveled all around Europe when she was 18. The strict part of her upbringing was rebelled against and lost somewhat (towards my brother and I). My father (a Brit) is a successful self made man who also became independent when he was quite young. Sure they tried to dictate but I wouldn't really listen to it. I had my own opinion which usually worked out.

Dude, you are in college. Not only have you paid for your own bike, but also a truck! It's obvious you are a intelligent young man with good work ethics and probably a sound judgement for what is and isn't good. You can do whatever you want when on campus because they have no control over you over there, so why try to control you at home? Well like I said before, it's a parental thing probably. You'll have to tell them that you bought your bike and car, you work for your money, you are very thankful they help you getting the loans and you are a responsible young adult. I'm sure they already know this but they really need to realize it. Limiting you in using what is yours will only work against them. It surely won't better the relationship between you and them. Tell them that you need to relax too, and you are distracted because you can't enjoy your toys. You miss riding and working on your bike etc. They are yours to use and although you understand (if you do) why they say you can't take them, they really don't have any real control over it..

If that doesn't work.. Just take your **** and they'll get over it.

 

That's totally me too. I love them and appreciate them a lot, but I had to tell them to see me as an individual and not as their second bodies who can accomplish what they couldn't do for their life.

Once you get your root down and stand up for your core values, it might shock them. But they will get over it.

 

 

my advice. sop being a pansy *** little b*tch.
YOUR money YOUR bike YOUR future. tell the folks to get f*cked and take your damn bike. Youre at college, not pre school. Harden the f*ck up and be a man for christsakes

 

This man speaks the truth.