For what it's worth I am in agreement with you guys ... I hate the way the world has alienated the sexes against each other, it cant all be about the power given to women either ... I feel there may be something else going on, I simply could not imagine screwing a man over for no other reason than I can ..if we had children I would want him to have as much input as me ..hell I wouldn't want a break up in the first place but if it happened then I would want the children to know their father and for them to love him too AND for him to have as much input as he wanted, oh wolfy, I know you are going through the mill but the truth is we're not all feminists and most of us want a quiet loving relationship and to treat men right even if we break up those of us who are not vindictive will just try to move on as best as we can ..I think the feminists give us all a bad name and they love nothing more than seeing men and women at each others throats ... couple this with money hungry divorce lawyers (what sharks are they??) and a general culture of I want more, more, MORE and it all just goes to hell.

We have to choose our partners very carefully in this day and age ..assuming we are looking for someone to go the long haul with rather than just hanging out and having fun ... people rush into mariage without really knowing the person or they co habit at the drop of a hat which is actually not conducive to long term happiness .. everyone and I mean everyone needs to just slow down a bit ...

If you are serious about someone and think they may be the one then you should be looking at dating for at least 6 months before you even think of an engagement ...also you should not marry for two years of seeing one another ..then you really get to know each other before marriage and not after, thats a biggie right there.

So I know its old fashioned but date properly and for a while, at least 6 months, then get engaged for about 18 months before you consider marriage, afterall whats the rush we have the rest of our lives ahead of us and if they are the one what a wonderful life it could be ..if they are not the one you will be really rather glad you never rushed things ...

One more thing wolfy be careful about getting too down with all this feminist hatred stuff, there is a lot of it out there and its designed to rile up hatred between the sexes ..them and us, it really is a kind of evil ..dont believe everything you read and try not to get too cynical ...


Jules

 

I am in agreement in that women should be women and men should be men ... as a woman I don't want a man who acts girly or is always overly sensitive but you made a point about get a girlfriend if we want some touchy feely or a hug or have someone understand us .. there is no greater aphrodisiac than a real man who is strong and confident but just comes upto me once in a while and asks how I am doing and gives me a cuddle/hug ..lets me talk with him at an intimate level or shows understanding when I have a problem ..do you see what I am saying, I dont want a girly man but a strong man who shows me compassion/affection and caring ..also you guys dont have to go hunting to impress us either ..the modern equivalent is just being a decent caring human being who isnt a pushover and can take charge .. but you guys do have to show some affection and not all be about "tough ***" .. I am kinda old fashioned though I believe men should be men and women should act like women and not try to be men or compete ..men and women are different, not better or worse ..we are yin and yang and meant to compliment one another ...

Jules

 

I aggree with a lot of what you said Jules.....Lonewolf may be a bit bitter right now but he's had his eyes opened up to an injustice in our world. Just as I did. I was bitter against all women for a while, when your hurt by one and then the "system" rewards her with your children, your home, your money and punishes you... well lets just say it takes a while realize there are real decent women out there who wont take full advantage you or a system like that. And Lonewolf, there are decent women out there!!!

If your looking at an upcomming custody situation, Try for "shared" custody. Shared, gives you both equal rights to the child. The school they attend the doctor or type of care they recieve, the church they go to, all has to be aggreed upon by both parties. If she decides to move cross country... she cant take your child with her unless you aggree to it. With joint custody, you have NO say in the matter. Most courts dont like to award Shared custody because the Law recomends that since you have the child equal amounts of time that you pay half the state recomended guidline in child support. Thats a good thing for you but it is the judges discretion. (I have shared but still pay the full amount,judge here is an ***) I had to basically buy shared from my ex but it kept her living here with all my kids.....They dont like for you to have shared and pay less because your child support payments go thru the CSEA, a goverment agency, that supports itself by charging you 2 percent over and above your court ordered payment as their fee for forcebly taking your money. Obviously if we all paid half the amount, they would recieve half their share which would mean they would have to cut the CSEA empire back to a reasonable size. Thats something that no government agency wants to do....
I know 2 percent doesnt sound like much but....My case was $1750 per month plus their 2% which was $35. Now figure they take my $1750 and thousands of other guys too, they drawl intrest on that money each month plus the $35.......cut all that in half and its billions in losses. its an uphill battle fighting a system like that alone.

 

This is the trouble isnt it Rod, one woman can hurt you and it makes you bitter against all of us ... I think this is partly the problem between the sexes ..we get hurt and then hate the whole gender for it, so we have these gender wars .. the love of my life hurt me beyond belief but I know he was just one man ..in no way has it made me judge men in general ..there are good and bad people in this world whether they be male or female ..we just have to be careful who we want to spend quality time with, this is why its so important to date the old fashioned way of courting and getting engaged for a long period of time, to really get to know someone before marriage ..and yes of course people can change too but its best not to stack the odds against you from the outset ..and yes the system does seem biased against men particularly your side of the pond it seems to me, its wrong but the women who take advatage of it are also wrong ...where is the integrity?? .. just because the system says I can screw my husband over a barrel doesnt mean I would or should ..

Jules

 

Your right...and...unfortunatley, since the system allows this and itis, infact commonplace, it has created an environment where a woman is better off, financially speaking if she divorces and finds another man. She can get child support, allimony, usually the home and a car, still keep her own income, and move another man in with his income. We have created an anti-marriage environment! And once the man has been bent over the barrell as you put it......what do you think the odds are of him getting married again? Why would he put himself at the mercy of another woman and a crooked system again???

No easy answer......

 

Just to clarify......I do not know anyone on here really other than through this monitor, my ramblings are merely an opinion not aimed at anyone orlifes situation. Situation dictates, and I do not know the situation, so therefore not saying anything in particular or personal to anyone.

 

^^^ Yes, it just ruins everything for the rest of us ... the gold diggers and your lawyers get rich ..the trouble is when you kill the family and make man and woman estranged then it doesnt bode well for the future ... a decent society is based on loving families living together and in some kind of harmony and with purpose ..when you take this away from people and give them no hope what then?? ..there can be no greater evil than the encouragement of the destruction of the family unit ...society then rots from the inside out ..its heartbreaking


Jules

 

All I know is, when my ex left after living together for four years, I wanted to stab every girl I saw in the eye with a spoon...and I didnt even see this barrel you all speak of.

 

LOL, you'll know it when you see it...usually lawyers hold you down on it while the judge pours it to you. If you cant recognize whats going on by the pain and uncomfortable position, you should be able to tell by the hysterical laugh comming from your ex as she watches you wince from each thrust of the judge!!!

 

you know whats so sad about this post,except for the fact that its all true.a long time ago.some stupid old white men gave away most if not all of our rights as men and i doubt we`ll ever get em back