Anyone have stepkids?
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RE: Anyone have stepkids?
Relax. I'm sure she'll grow up to be a good, hard working adult. She's just a teenager.My kids are much younger, but sometimes, I find myself being a little harder on them than I should. Just try to put everything into perspective. Only letthe dicipline match the behavior. In fact, it doesn't hurt to be easy on her, and let your wife bear the brunt of her parenting. You don't want your step-daughter to hate you. Look, if she smokes crack and has a three way in the basement, thenit's understandablebe harsh, but if she is just being a lazy teen (studies have shown that kids this age need more sleep, and are less alert). Of course she only wants to do the minimum amount of work possible. Don't you remember being her age? Has it been that long-lol? Don't over-react. Find a way to care about her like you care for your own. Seriously. Find something you can do together,even if it's just a tvshow you both watch(at that age it's gonna be hard).
Remember (reminder to self also), she's just a kid!!! NO matter how adult she can seem at 16 (or insert any age below 22 here-generally). There's nothing wrong with using this excuse for her. Hey, some people never grow up, but don't convince yourself she is one of those people.
CHILL!!!
Less of this: [sm=chairshot.gif]...and this: [sm=bicker.gif]
More of this: [sm=love.gif]...and this:
Remember (reminder to self also), she's just a kid!!! NO matter how adult she can seem at 16 (or insert any age below 22 here-generally). There's nothing wrong with using this excuse for her. Hey, some people never grow up, but don't convince yourself she is one of those people.
CHILL!!!
Less of this: [sm=chairshot.gif]...and this: [sm=bicker.gif]
More of this: [sm=love.gif]...and this:
Senior Member
Joined: Jun 2007
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From: Texas
RE: Anyone have stepkids?
ORIGINAL: Daffy472
I think you are an ******* as well as that guy who is counting months until his kids "hit the road" so they won't irritate him anymore. I canimagine how hardyou twowill be trying to throwthose kidsout if they won't leave the house at their 18th birthday, hell you probably already do.
First of all - you came into their family, not the way around.Your wifeand her daughter have 16 years of relationship, comparing tohow many,2 with you? You came out of nowhere into a settled family and trying toenforce your own rules - you dont like how she looks at you, you don't like how she walks, you don't like how she breathes. Sorry, but it is your problems, not hers -your step daughterdidn't choose to live with you under one roof, you chose it. You should have thought aboutall thisbefore the marriage -will you be able to accept the rules ofthe family you are about to enter or no.
But as the other guy said he doesn't care about kids much- his wife iswhat's important. Kids is just a temporary obstacle onhis way toa happy marriage. What a great life position for a guy who decided to marry a woman with kids.
Good news isthat it isnot only your fault,a wife should have thought about all this as well. Unless, of course, she also counting days to get rid of her kids so you two can finally be happy.
Sorry, maybe it isharsh, but you asked for opinions and it is mine.
I think you are an ******* as well as that guy who is counting months until his kids "hit the road" so they won't irritate him anymore. I canimagine how hardyou twowill be trying to throwthose kidsout if they won't leave the house at their 18th birthday, hell you probably already do.
First of all - you came into their family, not the way around.Your wifeand her daughter have 16 years of relationship, comparing tohow many,2 with you? You came out of nowhere into a settled family and trying toenforce your own rules - you dont like how she looks at you, you don't like how she walks, you don't like how she breathes. Sorry, but it is your problems, not hers -your step daughterdidn't choose to live with you under one roof, you chose it. You should have thought aboutall thisbefore the marriage -will you be able to accept the rules ofthe family you are about to enter or no.
But as the other guy said he doesn't care about kids much- his wife iswhat's important. Kids is just a temporary obstacle onhis way toa happy marriage. What a great life position for a guy who decided to marry a woman with kids.
Good news isthat it isnot only your fault,a wife should have thought about all this as well. Unless, of course, she also counting days to get rid of her kids so you two can finally be happy.
Sorry, maybe it isharsh, but you asked for opinions and it is mine.
Ya whatever. What parent isnt ready for child to leave. Maybe some moms but I know dad's are ready for them to get some time alone and not have to pay for everything. Both the child and parents are happy till they remember, "O fu**. COLLEGE!!!!!" LOL
Joined: Sep 2007
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RE: Anyone have stepkids?
well heres my 2 cents.
I myself am a stepchild. My dad got re-marryd when I was 5 (although I live with my real mom),and Ill tell you what it aint just you brotha. My step mom hates my living guts (of course she never says anything to my face witch is nice), but I think its just some psycological thing with step-realations for the new spouse to dislike the old kid. I guess your just gonna have to wait it out, and coming from a step child, your step daughter probably doesn't hate you but feels threatened by you.
I myself am a stepchild. My dad got re-marryd when I was 5 (although I live with my real mom),and Ill tell you what it aint just you brotha. My step mom hates my living guts (of course she never says anything to my face witch is nice), but I think its just some psycological thing with step-realations for the new spouse to dislike the old kid. I guess your just gonna have to wait it out, and coming from a step child, your step daughter probably doesn't hate you but feels threatened by you.
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Joined: Mar 2007
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From: Missouri
RE: Anyone have stepkids?
lol, okay Dr Phil. You don't have kids do you. Looking forward to getting teenagers out of the house is a normal part of nature. That's part of the stuggle. Sixteen year old children want to be treated like adults, but are still kids. By the time they turn 18 they want to leave just as much as your sick of taking care of all the problems. BTW, I have 4 step kids and wenting riding with the oldest a couple days ago. He was a royal pain in the *** a few years ago. Would I want to have him live with me? Hell no.
