so me and the b/f are looking to get our first place together..nothing big of course..just an apartment...im really excited! but...im also REALLY nervous..

i know it shouldnt be like "you are the woman you do this!" but at the same time..i kinda wanna be like the "housewife" type..

so...does anyone have any advice at all? whether it be about how to stick to a tight budget...or how to cook a good quick dinner...how to bargain shop...anything! haha..

thanks


also...how many other people are in or have been in this situation??

 

Different things work for different people - some like to divide the bills and keep track to the penny, others pay their share according to income, some don't keep track at all. Sometimes it leads to marriage, sometimes doesn't - have friends who've been living together for over 20 years now....afraid an official marriage would mess it up!

Best advice I can give tho is to respect each other - ideas, thoughts, bodies, opinions. Be good to and for each other.

$$ wise, there's nothing wrong with buying stuff at Goodwill, garage sales, Value Village, Dollar Stores etc...there's lots of bargains out there. If you're on a budget, just don't even go into a high end store!

Good luck, have fun.
-Susan
"04CBR600F4i

 

Well there's always the dollar store for quick budget. But Walmart usually helps with all the goods. Try to save as much as you can first, you should always have "safety" money.

 

+1

Other than respect for each other, the most important thing is communication. And many of the things you're asking about should be discussed beforehand (ie before you move in together). Sit down and write out a budget (they have ledger books specifically for creating a household budget, at Wal-mart, Office Depot, etc....). Determine who's going to pay for what, and how. Are you going to maintain separate accounts (recommended), have one joint account, or both (maintain your own accounts, and have a shared "house" account for bills, groceries, etc....) If you both work, will you divvy up bills half and half, or will it (as Ant suggested) be based on income?

Wal-mart, Target and other discount stores are great. The key is being an educated consumer, and keeping track of pricing on "staple" items you buy all of the time. Many times, the price on some items at "discount" stores is not, in fact, any lower than other places. Make yourself a grocery list in Excel (or other spreadsheet) with the staple items you buy each week (milk, bread, etc....) and the estimated (rounded off) price. When you grocery shop each week, make and use (and STICK TO) your list. Add the other items you need to the spreadsheet before shopping, and guesstimate costs (this is easy once you've been doing it for a few weeks). This way you know approximately how much money you're spending at the store before you leave, and you can adjust the list accordingly if you've gone over budget. Don't shop when you're hungry... the best way to mess up a budget is to shop when you're hungry - you'll end up buying all kinds of expensive impulse items as a result.

As for being the "housewife" type, there's nothing wrong with that, or with wanting it. Each relationship is different as far as what works (if both partners share equally in cooking, cleaning, etc... or if there are more "traditional" gender roles). If that's what works for both of you, more power to you! But do make sure that you're not taking on too much responsibility (especially if you work as well), and that you have time to spend quality time with your boyfriend, and you're not running yourself ragged around the home all the time.

For meal planning, check out the library (and the internet) for cheap and easy recipes.... While we'd all love to be Martha Stewart in the kitchen, reality prevents it most of the time. Save the elaborate recipes for weekends and special occasions, and focus on finding easy things that won't take you all night to make. Again, you want to have time for your boyfriend.


As for me, Chris and I have been together for two years, and living together for just over one year, and it's wonderful. We kinda naturally fell into the "traditional" gender roles when it comes to some stuff around the house... He's not a great cook, so I cook 99.9% of the time, but he does help with cleaning up, I do the laundry, but he puts it away, etc... really, most everything in terms of chores and money is split down the middle, and it works well for us. But we both work 40-50 hours a week, so by splitting everything, it allows us more free time together.

And my Grandmother (yes, my

 

thanks for the advice girls!

yeah for awhile until i get my full raise..its gonna be pretty much based on income with how we split the bills...we aren't getting a joint account that would just be crazy right now...as for safety money...he didnt factor into the budget a) my raise and b) his $300 milage check he gets each month...so thats like extra money basically. he did a spread sheet like you mentioned LOL..hes a computer nerd so he likes to do that stuff

and yes i've already started looking at discount stores for the basic things we need (i.e plates, cups, that sort of stuff), and i dont have a problem with buying generic food and stuff.nor does he...

thats one thing im not worried about, us sharing responsibilities, our personalities are so similar that we dont even think twice about trying to make the other one happy...he actually enjoys cooking..and anytime we have ever cooked each other dinner...we just made it a joint thing..we both helped its more fun that way...same with dishes...i wash , he dries and puts away (he used to live with some buddies and i was always there so we kinda got to "play house" for awhile)

his grandparents as well as my parents will most likely be very helpful at first also with appliances and furniture.

i agree with the "dont marry someone until youve lived with them" thing....we also just kinda feel into this..it just seems logical since we spend so much time together now..and neither of us wanna live with parents anymore..or an hour away from work..

either way...you never know til you try...and im not a quitter and neither is he...so im sure all will go well once we get into the flow of it...my mom already offered to help me use coupons good (i dont even look at them most the time LOL, my mom is a coupon ***** LOL) and i was thinkin of getting a membership to SAMs Club. we have about 2 months to hord some things and get a safety deposit saved up.


thanks again for all your advice!! im nervous and excited (and a really big dork for actin like that) lol...

now the only thing we are REALLY tryin to figure out...is where to keep the bikes?? hahaha thats his main worry ahahahhah....

 

dont do his laundry or clean everything or he will expect it forever!


trust me I do now

 

Definately make sure that the appt. lease is in BOTH of your names so that if you should happen to break up you're not stranded without a home. My boyfriend and I are currently in the process of looking for an apartment