My neighbour found out that her dog [a Schnauzer] could hardly hear, so she took it to the vet. The vet found that the problem was hair in the dog's ears. He cleaned both ears, and the dog could then hear fine.

The vet then proceeded to tell the lady that, if she wanted to keep this from recurring, she should go to the chemist and get some Nair hair remover and rub it in the dog's ears once a month.

The lady went to the chemist and bought some. At the register, the pharmacist told her: "If you're going to use this under your arms, don't use deodorant for a few days."

The lady said, "I'm not using it under my arms."

The pharmacist said, "If you're using it on your legs, don't shave for a couple of days."

The lady replied, "I'm not using it on my legs either. If you must know, I'm using it on my Schnauzer."

The pharmacist said, "Well, in that case, stay off your bicycle for about a week."

 

HA! And we now have some new vocabulary in the household. This is a gift that keeps on giving.

 

Can't beat a Germanic sounding word for Clunge, eh Joe?

 

Da ***** just became a dog

For now and forever, whenever I see a Schnauzer, I will laugh.
Thanks for that..........

 

There was a knock on the door this morning. I opened it to find a young man
standing there who said: "I'm a Jehovah's Witness."

I said "Come in and sit down, .... what do you want to talk about?"


He said, "Beats the **** out of me, I've never gotten this far before "

 

It's too quiet in here so I'm forced to post this


I've just returned from the Blind masturbation world championship. I've got no idea where I came.

 

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
even for you that was yuk, Dave

Maybe as bad as 6 old farts with Alzheimers who take Viagra and don't know what to do with their hardons

 

They hung their hats on 'em

 

Sorry guys, I would have posted earlier but I had to spend the morning grooming the schnauzer......
Anyway here's my giggle for the day....

As good as this bar is," said the Scotsman, "I still prefer the pubs back home. In Glasgow, there's a wee place called McTavish's. The landlord goes out of his way for the locals. When you buy four drinks, he'll buy the fifth drink."

"Well, Angus," said the Englishman, "At my local in London, the Red Lion, the barman will buy you your third drink after you buy the first two."

"Ahhh, that's nothin'," said the Irishman, "back home in me favourite pub, the moment you set foot in the place, they'll buy you a drink, then another, all the drinks you like, actually. Then, when you've had enough drinks, they'll take you upstairs and see that you get laid, all on the house!"

The Englishman and Scotsman were suspicious of the claims. The Irishman swore every word was true. "Did this actually happen to you?"

"Not meself, personally, no," admitted the Irishman, "but it did happen to me sister quite a few times."

 

Henry, I'm going to have to look that up now. Clunge?