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Today's giggle

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  #1741  
Old 04-11-2016, 07:56 AM
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Originally Posted by jarvid
At least in the US you don`t have to vote, in OZ we get fined or imprisoned if we don`t show up to the voting booth...police state again, just another revenue source I suppose.
Are you allowed time off from work to vote? It's always been a point of frustration for me that elections are held during the business day but employers aren't obliged to give you time off to vote. That is the way it is where I live, each state may have its own laws.
Personally i give my staff all the time they need, but if they show up late, they better be wearing an "I voted" sticker. :-)
 
  #1742  
Old 04-11-2016, 08:50 PM
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Voting is done on the weekend, just to pi55 people off more, and if you can`t make it you are supposed to do a postal vote beforehand
 
  #1743  
Old 04-14-2016, 10:06 PM
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So we agree. The world is going to Hell in a hand basket. Here, in America, the right to keep guns seems to many the ultimate tenet of freedom. To me, it's the ability to escape civilization and all of its bovine scatology.

Sh*t! Let's ride!
 
  #1744  
Old 04-14-2016, 11:39 PM
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Hm. A new thing learnt today and it's not even 8am.

Bovine scatology: a science that studies cattle excrement

Bovine scatologist: an urban term for a person that constantly brags about achievements one has yet to complete. A professional bullsh*tter.


My choice of profession henceforth wherever asked.

Sh*t! Let's ride!
When in doubt, add Braap.
 
  #1745  
Old 04-18-2016, 06:16 AM
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I heard an interesting comment on one of the podcasts that I follow recently.

Politicians are a lot like diapers; they both need to be changed on regular basis.

Because they are both full of ****.
 
  #1746  
Old 04-18-2016, 07:04 AM
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And I'll thank Teeks for bringing the thread back on track. It's a joke thread guys.......................

Here's an example

Whats the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts?


Beer nuts are $1.00 a packet and deer nuts are just under a buck

Cheers, SB
 
  #1747  
Old 04-18-2016, 11:05 AM
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Here's a Brit joke. Others may have to Google him.

It seems Paul Daniels has just broken David Blayne's record for the longest time a magician has spent in a box!
 
  #1748  
Old 04-18-2016, 02:31 PM
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  #1749  
Old 04-18-2016, 06:26 PM
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Nice Splash...........

But you DO need to chow down of a pair of these.......

Australian Bush Oysters Recipe - LifeStyle FOOD



Nothing like 'em

Cheers, SB
 
  #1750  
Old 06-23-2016, 12:06 PM
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Toward the end of the Sunday service, the Minister asked, "How many of you have forgiven your enemies?"
80% held up their hands. The Minister then repeated his question. All responded this time, except one man, Walter Jervey.
"Mr. Jervey, are you not willing to forgive your enemies?"
"I don't have any," he replied gruffly.
"Mr. Jervey, that is very unusual. How old are you?"
"Ninety," he replied. The congregation stood up and clapped their hands.
"Oh, Mr. Jervey, would you please come down in front and tell us all how a person can live ninety years and not have an enemy in the world?"
The old man tottered down the aisle, stopped in front of the pulpit, turned to face the congregation, and said simply, "I outlived all them a$$holes.”
Then he calmly returned to his seat.
 


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