So I've been doing a lot of thinking today, and quite frankly it's depressing. Let me elaborate.

I went over to one of my friends house wednesday. Got high, we went and got beers, got more high, drank beer, got more high, drank, etc. So I was obliterated the whole day. Still felt some effects thursday, then went out to State (NCSU) to my friends dorm, got drunk, same night went to the house of a guy i worked with, and got WAY high while drunk (ended up puking. smoke then drink, never drink then smoke, if you're gonna do it). Woke up this morning, got high again, was high till somewhere around 6 tonight.

I was at the top of both spectrums, high as ****, drunk as hell, for a LONG time. Spending so much time in those states, it really made me think. After being at the top for so long, you realize how empty it all is. I looked back, and all the memories I cherish, times I hold dear, were in moments of clarity with nothing in my system. Just spending time with friends. To what gain am I doing these things for? A buzz? Being obliterated? Why? I find myself slipping back to the person I was with each one for a little.

First semester of college, I was all about drinking, ended up with a ticket for it and shyed off a little. Second semester it was all about smoking up. It took robery at gunpoint (completely unrelated to substances) and intervention from my friends to get me to realize the lifestyle I was going down.

It's such a waste.

But now here I am, not as adamant about participating in substances as I used to be, but still wasting valuable minutes of my life away, once again. I was outside today smoking a cigarette (yeah, the quitting didnt go so well, that's about to stop too, I'm just tired of ALL of it) and a song I was listening to said "you say you want everything" and that's all I caught. Still high, I got really depressed. I started thinking about where our world/society/country is heading. I DO want everything. Being able to enjoy life, to me, is everything. I want to love passionately, give eagerly, always be around friends, be able to sit back and enjoy life. But looking at where we're heading, it looks like I'll end up just like my dad, working 70-80 hours a week just to get by. Never having time to enjoy life at all. I cant tell you the last time I saw him smile.

Yet here I sit, stagnant in life, content making 7.25 an hour "just to get by". Wasting my days away getting drunk and high for moments I'll never remember. Sure, I know what it feels like to be both, but I'll never look back at the moment, just the feeling.

Idk, I guess I'm rambling now, dunno what the point I was trying to make was, but these are my thoughts right now.

 

Shape up, find a different path to follow. (â™  < wow, I just accidently typed that and don't know how i did it. sorry to get off topic)
You control your life and all you need to do is take charge. I just lost my girlfriend of 3.5 years and had to move back to my parents house. I'm still in college. I'm poor and only have a handful of friends.
But I'll be damned if I don't eventually end up happy, I'm fightin the fight. Hard work now will pay off later. (Whereas no work now requires hard work later)
You can do it.

 

Dont know man, but sounds to me like you need to cut waay back or quit. Get a grip on reality for a while, then you can make some better decisions.

 

First off you could stop getting high. Thats the downs you're getting.

Second. Life sucks. You live, work, then die. Welcome to pretty much everyones life.

Third. How about stop getting high and actually motivate your self to do something with your life.

Fourth. Go get mental counseling.

Fifth. Go get drug counseling



Life sucks and always will. Sitting on your *** drunk and high isnt gonna take you Boardwalk Ave.

 

Soccer,

You have already touched upon the solution in your post...high and drunk is not where you want to be. You can be high and drunk on your mammy*s couch for the rest of your life wondering what you did wrong. The other solution is to get your **** together and make a change. I can think of one member who X*d ()out those choices, and another who is fighting his deamons even as we speak. It is all up to you, big boy.

 

I believe life is whatever you make of it. If you say it sucks...well, it will damn well suck because you don't do the things necessary to make it better. Life doesn't **** on you. You **** on yourself. Life just throws you some curve ***** once in while to screw with your head and hopefully teach you some valuable lessons.

1. Work should be rewarding to you. If it's not, then figure out what you need to get out of it to make it rewarding. If you can't, then perhaps you are in the wrong profession. I used to love delivering pizzas and then working inside as a shift manager, but I hated working as a Unit Manager. Like wise, I liked providing computer support, but I hated being a Team Leader. I love my current position.

2. Figure out what your goals are in your life. Try to not focus on materialistic things or money, but experiences. Whether it would be visiting certain cities/states or even countries. Maybe you want to give your time at a food bank or at Habitat for Humanity or the Peace Corps. Maybe you want to be a police officer. No matter what your goals are, figure them out. Even write them down and set a time line. Then figure out the things that need to fall into place to accomplish them and then tackle those individual components until your goal is reached. Then rinse and repeat. Continue setting your goals just out of reach, but achievable.


Get off the drugs and don't drink in excess. You waste a lot of money time and brain cells.

 

yeah dude, drugs are the cause of your depression. Whenever im hungover, i feel like **** , im sure all us do. I smoke ocasionally, and its the same ****...it depresses me afterwards. idk.

 

no, it's more than that
No amount of drinking or smoking has this effect on me
I think a LOT, sometimes TOO much, but I get on many deep trails that way, and many of them have led to a feeling of depression (not all, some are revealing, some joyful, but deep analysis of self, society, etc. is GOING to be depressive), not clinical depression, more like a sorrow at the consideration of the situation, temporarily.

 

That is the sound of an abuser.

 

Ranger, Sometimes, you impress me. Despite your penchant for anarchy. Umm...no, that`s Nauree. Ya`ll southerners all look the same.