trouble with stepson...need advice
#1
trouble with stepson...need advice
He moved in about a year ago,Herion junkie just out of rehab 22 yrs old.His real father dont want to be bothered my wife said he moves in with us thats that. We all agreed to certain stipulations no drugs, get a job and help out with the bills."$200"a month.I pay all the utillites and half the mortgage.If anything breaks in the house I fix it or pay someone to fix it.Kid hasent paid anything in the last 3 months and my wife doesnt seem to think its a big deal.I work rotating shifts all hours of the day.I work a very dangerous job in the streets of the Bronx.What should I do.I have a 13 year old daughter who lives with us and loves the home.I would hate to loose it but I cant keep supporting a grown man.
#2
RE: trouble with stepson...need advice
i dunno bro... most heroin junkies dont recover just like that so hes probably still using and wasting money on that instead of helping out with the bills.. not much you can do man if your wife wont let you kick him out... i say either wait till he ends up in jail, or godforbid he od's.. or find somebody from the bad part of bronx and ask them to beat the **** outa this kid.. that should probably scare him enough lol
#3
RE: trouble with stepson...need advice
as much as that sucks, you are kind of stuck between a rock and a hard place. your wife and a junky rather. as danny already stated junkies cant just quit cold turkey, and more than likely he is still using. although, you did say he just got out of rehab? do you know if he uses still? my major concern would be having that kind of stuff around my daughter. does your wife not want to talk about it? that is the point i would make, and it may make more sense to her then. btw, does your wife work?
#4
RE: trouble with stepson...need advice
wow im not to sure what to say . either way you decide to handle it might but a strain on you and the rest of your family. if you continue to let he get by he will keep doing it and it might even get worse. that could eventually (and probably will) turn into issues with your and your wife. on the other hand if you step up tell him to get his act together or get out that could but him back on the fast track to relapse and the 2ndary problem could be your wife yells @ you for doing that to her son. you also should take into accountant the effects this arrangment might be having on your daughter. how does she feel having him living in the house? is this a potential source of negative influence that might show her "hey its ok to **** up and you will be ok ? either situation i think there could be very potential influences for a negative outcome . how does your wife feel about the situation ? you said that she seems to be content with letting him slide by the ground rules that you and her put in place for your step son. also your doing a good job just by taking him in , you couldve said no . it takes a strong man and a good father to be able to open up and try and help your step son. i know a few step dads who wouldve said hell no and kicked him back out onto the streets ... good luck
#5
RE: trouble with stepson...need advice
He has been clean that I am sure.I know what he is when he is using no getting around it.Your right I am between the rock and the hard place and it sucks.My wife dont know what to do she is afraid to approach him that it might set him back.You know sooner or latter you got to take the world by the ***** and take care of bussiness.A man has to work and pay bills there aint no free ride.Though I know its a harsh reality but tough ****.Its a shame but it looks like I have to rethink my gameplan .
#7
RE: trouble with stepson...need advice
Danny said it right that most don't recover. I have an uncle who's been inside twice and has been fighting it for 15+ years. They just never fully recover and I think the most important thing to consider is your daughter. Ultimately though you need to convince your wife that the protection of the home is the most important thing in the situation and take the appropriate action from there. Good luck.
#8
RE: trouble with stepson...need advice
Forgiveness is a hard thing... trust me (long story, not here). But there are lines. Drugs don't just effect the person, when his dealer isn't getting paid that will follow him home... and that is your home. At the least, something needs to be said with him and your wife in the same room at the same time. Safety is so very important and you are doing a very brave and helpful thing brining him in, but you have to think about your daughter.
MDFF
MDFF
#9
RE: trouble with stepson...need advice
Maybe I just dont get it because I was nrver hooked on herion.I have had my share of problems thanks to several motorcycle crashes.but I always overcame them healed up and went on with my life.Still at the age of 47 my body feels like its been beat up pretty bad but you keep going.To me its like stop with the bull**** and get your act together.Its funny i am trying to make it work but i know its all going to fall apart.I really would like to smack him around a little.
#10
RE: trouble with stepson...need advice
well if he is in fact staying clean then what is his problem ? is he not finding a job or he has a job ad just wont pay for his share of stuff around the house ? ive never been addicted to anything other then speed (going fast ) so i dont know whas its like but im sure it would be hard to be motivated to get a job, also who really wants to hire a recover heroin addict? maybe you should give a lil tough love and show him the reality of the world . but what is MOST IMPORTANT your wife backs you up and you back her up and keep a united front when talkign with him. there is nothign worse then 1 parents undermining another and sadly this happens alot in situations like this and sends the wrong message. keep us updated