Tips for a successful relationship...
RE: Tips for a successful relationship...
ORIGINAL: DDCavi
dont ever let her catch you looking at **** on the computer.
dont ever let her catch you looking at **** on the computer.
.1) The small things
2) Communication
3) Trust
4) Space
Senior Member
Joined: Nov 2007
Posts: 601
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From: Lexington, NC
RE: Tips for a successful relationship...
it's the simplest things that they like
such as giving her the "heads up" when you're gonna sploog in her mouth
or turning down her drunk friends offer the night before
such as giving her the "heads up" when you're gonna sploog in her mouth
or turning down her drunk friends offer the night before
Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 1,362
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From: Oklahoma City
RE: Tips for a successful relationship...
ORIGINAL: eweppley [ul][*]"Take a moment to step back and asess how important it is to "win" an argument. My wife and I used to get into HUGE arguments about her never putting the toilet seat down and how mad I got that I had to always remind her. Finally, one day I looked at the seat, was about to start yelling, but paused... looked again, reached out with my hand, and put the seat down. In 2 seconds I'd fixed what bugged me, there was no 30 minute (or more) fight, nothing. It was fine, and such an easy fix that it was just stupid. I've learned alot from that."[/ul]
Lrn2Go, what's this about HERnever putting the seat down?? Is there something you're not tell us???Lrn2Go, what's this about HERnever putting the seat down?? Is there something you're not tell us???
Lrn2Go, what's this about HERnever putting the seat down?? Is there something you're not tell us???Lrn2Go, what's this about HERnever putting the seat down?? Is there something you're not tell us???
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Joined: Aug 2006
Posts: 1,588
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From: Los Angeles, CA
RE: Tips for a successful relationship...
When complimenting, don't overdo it otherwise it'll get repetitive and mundane. Know when to compliment, what's worth complimenting, and how to compliment right.
Here's a good one I'll share for all of you. Neat little presents for no apparant reason. Those are the ones that make her feel special. When asked why you got her the present, say "JUST BECAUSE..." (and you might end it with "... I love you"). It's the "Just because's" that brightens up her day. Heck, it would brighten up yours too if you got something for no reason. You're welcome =)
Here's a good one I'll share for all of you. Neat little presents for no apparant reason. Those are the ones that make her feel special. When asked why you got her the present, say "JUST BECAUSE..." (and you might end it with "... I love you"). It's the "Just because's" that brightens up her day. Heck, it would brighten up yours too if you got something for no reason. You're welcome =)
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Joined: Jun 2007
Posts: 2,680
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From: PA
RE: Tips for a successful relationship...
ORIGINAL: Kewl Breeze
This thread should be censored with one of those nipple cover up thingies .. I'm offended and find this thread prejudiced against single people [8D] ... but once I asked a friend who had been very happily married over 25 years of extremely what their key to success was and I liked his response:
He said there's no simple answer, there's a lot to it but if I had to sum it up in a short way I would say it has to do with a "variation" on the old "compromise" thing. He said most people think one of the keys to a successful relationship is that you have to learn to compromise and that it should be 50/50 give and take. He said, for us it goes way beyond that, he said whether it's a big issue or some small mundane daily task I always go way out of my way to make life easier for her, many times the small day to day stuff can be more important then the big stuff. Take something so mundane as taking out the trash or washing the dishes; when I come home from work sure I'm tired and want to relax but the first thing I do is go do the chores before she comes home. I do this not because I don't want her complaining or have ulterior motives and want something in return but because I truly don't want her to have to do it and want her to be happy. But the thing is she feels the EXACT same way and does similar things without anyone keeping track. He said what it boils down to and what I'm saying is this: the 50/50 stuff does NOT work ... you have to feel like you want to give 90% for every 10% she gives and it's something you shouldn't have to think about, you either feel that way or you don't there's no "trying". But here's the catch; it only works if she feels exactly the same and strives for 90/10 her way.
I've been around both of them long enough to know he wasn't blowing sunshine up my *** and giving me some cutesy quotable line, but that they both actually live their lives that way on a daily basis.
This thread should be censored with one of those nipple cover up thingies .. I'm offended and find this thread prejudiced against single people [8D] ... but once I asked a friend who had been very happily married over 25 years of extremely what their key to success was and I liked his response:
He said there's no simple answer, there's a lot to it but if I had to sum it up in a short way I would say it has to do with a "variation" on the old "compromise" thing. He said most people think one of the keys to a successful relationship is that you have to learn to compromise and that it should be 50/50 give and take. He said, for us it goes way beyond that, he said whether it's a big issue or some small mundane daily task I always go way out of my way to make life easier for her, many times the small day to day stuff can be more important then the big stuff. Take something so mundane as taking out the trash or washing the dishes; when I come home from work sure I'm tired and want to relax but the first thing I do is go do the chores before she comes home. I do this not because I don't want her complaining or have ulterior motives and want something in return but because I truly don't want her to have to do it and want her to be happy. But the thing is she feels the EXACT same way and does similar things without anyone keeping track. He said what it boils down to and what I'm saying is this: the 50/50 stuff does NOT work ... you have to feel like you want to give 90% for every 10% she gives and it's something you shouldn't have to think about, you either feel that way or you don't there's no "trying". But here's the catch; it only works if she feels exactly the same and strives for 90/10 her way.
I've been around both of them long enough to know he wasn't blowing sunshine up my *** and giving me some cutesy quotable line, but that they both actually live their lives that way on a daily basis.
Some of these are quite funny.
Here's some more thoughts. [ol][*]Is winning the fight worth making her feel small?[*]It IS the small stuff that counts. The small stuff, communication, don't go to bed mad kind of go hand-in-hand at times. [/ol][blockquote]I know a lot are focusing on the good small stuff and it is extremely important. But don't forget the bad small stuff, too. It's important that you resolve the issues. Resolving the issue is to be able to look back on a rather painful event and talking the issues out until you can look back at it and not have a painful gut reaction to the memory. Even better if you can look back with fondness because of the way the situation was handled. I'm talking about the issues where you look back and you get that pain in the gut thinking about. Yeah, you may be manly and think I'll just bear with it, it's only a small thing. But not resolving the issue will bring back those feelings should a similiar situation occur again. After awhile all of the little individual situations ends up becoming one back massive negative. It's almost like a wall. Sure 100 feet back at might not seem that big, but you when it's right in front of you, it looks frigg'n huge.
I wish I learned this with my ex-wife and learned how to get her to open up on those things, also. We fought so hard to not to hurt each other with our pains that we never gave the opportunity for them to properly heal. Which basically means we never fought, which in turn means we never properly communicated. It sucks to be young and stupid.
I remember going to a couples counselor. One of the thing the he said, was something that took him a long time to understand. When you feel small and the other person looks huge. The other person feels small and you look huge. It's kind of hard to explain. Example of my older brother and I. I always felt he was smarter than me. He was always getting straight A's in school. He worked hard for that, but I h
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Joined: Jun 2007
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From: PA
RE: Tips for a successful relationship...
Oh, furthermore, consider going to a counselor now. Even if you have a good relationship.
Think of it as adding more tools to your toolbox to make your relationship better. I believe most men feel that they are admitting defeat by going to a counselor. That you don't need it and that you can figure it out. We can "fix" it. We don't need to stop to ask for directions. blah blah blah
Let's put it this way. Isn't it better to learn from someone elses mistakes? For those that recommend going to Motorcycle courses, why do that? You could learn on your own, sure...but you also learn some excellent skills early on and as you practice them early on, they become more and more natural to you. We are not taught in school how to be in a relationship with one another. We learn from watching our parents (which can be good or bad role models). We learn from our peers. But you don't see everything. You don't know what goes on behind closed doors. You don't see the resolution of the problems. This is stuff is not taught in school. Sure we can learn it, but how many hurts are required before we teach ourselves to be better in a relationship? After all, you didn't learn how to ride a bicycle or to ski without falling down. Why is a relationship considered different? In many cases, men and women learn their mistakes from dating multiple people over time. Some learn just from one person, and that can be long and painful and in many cases end in divorce or 2 people being very unhappy in their relationship.
Sometimes marriage counseling is refered to as divorce counseling. This is because people tend to go to counseling as a last resort when all the damage is done and in most cases it's too late. Make that small investment now. You will gain the rewards ten fold. Remember it's not defeat.
Think of it as adding more tools to your toolbox to make your relationship better. I believe most men feel that they are admitting defeat by going to a counselor. That you don't need it and that you can figure it out. We can "fix" it. We don't need to stop to ask for directions. blah blah blah
Let's put it this way. Isn't it better to learn from someone elses mistakes? For those that recommend going to Motorcycle courses, why do that? You could learn on your own, sure...but you also learn some excellent skills early on and as you practice them early on, they become more and more natural to you. We are not taught in school how to be in a relationship with one another. We learn from watching our parents (which can be good or bad role models). We learn from our peers. But you don't see everything. You don't know what goes on behind closed doors. You don't see the resolution of the problems. This is stuff is not taught in school. Sure we can learn it, but how many hurts are required before we teach ourselves to be better in a relationship? After all, you didn't learn how to ride a bicycle or to ski without falling down. Why is a relationship considered different? In many cases, men and women learn their mistakes from dating multiple people over time. Some learn just from one person, and that can be long and painful and in many cases end in divorce or 2 people being very unhappy in their relationship.
Sometimes marriage counseling is refered to as divorce counseling. This is because people tend to go to counseling as a last resort when all the damage is done and in most cases it's too late. Make that small investment now. You will gain the rewards ten fold. Remember it's not defeat.
Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 103
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RE: Tips for a successful relationship...
Some of the best advice we ever got.....and still use to this day - Bank accounts!
We have Hers, Mine and ours. The two of us receive an "allowance" and are free to spend it on whatever we want. No begging or getting permission.
The 'our" account is the main budget for the home.
Only problem is that i am always the one with no money! (go figure)
We have Hers, Mine and ours. The two of us receive an "allowance" and are free to spend it on whatever we want. No begging or getting permission.
The 'our" account is the main budget for the home.
Only problem is that i am always the one with no money! (go figure)
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 160
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From: Pass Area, SoCal
RE: Tips for a successful relationship...
It really helps if you get someone who is complimentary to you. I really didn't get along with some of my prior girlfriends because we were too different. I married my wife because I had so much fun with her and I wasn't worried about "us". April will be 3yrs for us and we still get along great. I do stuff she doesn't want to do and she does stuff I don't want to, so it works out. We make sure each other has time to do what's important to us too.
Oh, and DON'T HAVE KIDS FOR AT LEAST 5 YEARS AFTER YOU'RE MARRIED
Give yourself time to have fun just by yourselves. Anybody can have kids, it's not having them that's the trick.
Are there any girls with any tips?
Oh, and DON'T HAVE KIDS FOR AT LEAST 5 YEARS AFTER YOU'RE MARRIED
Give yourself time to have fun just by yourselves. Anybody can have kids, it's not having them that's the trick.
Are there any girls with any tips?
Joined: Sep 2007
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RE: Tips for a successful relationship...
Drink alot LOL! I seem to like women alot more when i'm drunk and can deal with them better.
The small thinng do matter the most and as one of my buddys at work say's "When mama's happy everyone's happy" so true.
I might not be the best person to give relationship advice since i'm 30 and single.
The small thinng do matter the most and as one of my buddys at work say's "When mama's happy everyone's happy" so true.
I might not be the best person to give relationship advice since i'm 30 and single.
