Well if noone else will say it, I will. Dude, shes not your biggest problem, you are. Enough of all this crap of the other posters here, and yourself, blaming this crap on the chick. Its a "relationship" takes two people. This is one is most honestly FUBAR. You should have walked away well before you were served with a freaking Restraining Order telling you to do so, which, by the way, was given for somer "reason" I assume? You didn't, you kept coming back to her, or allowing her to come back to you. Dude, you CAN'T fix her, and while around her you can't fix yourself. Man up, take responsibility for you part in it, if for nothing else than allowing it to go on, and just move on, forget about her, call the county and work your crap out with them and get over it. This sounds harsh, I know, but I've been there. Some people just don't work together and can bring out the worst in eachother. Problem with those relationships is ALL the BS you went through together makes you feel like it means something more than it does, it's like pain and suffering investments into the relationship, and neither one wants to throw all that effort away. It's an illusion. Sorry if it sounds harsh, but it's the truth. It's not about who's the victim or the a-hole, you both are, move on and find someone who doesn't bring out the worst in you. Was many years ago for me, and I'm so much happier now with my life, new significant other (going on five years together, great relationship) and the way everything has went since I washed my hands of my old "psycho ex".
If you don't take this advice, at least clean your room once in a while, feh, used condoms under your bed, that was bright. Heh. Seriously don't take offense to this man, consider it tough love or whatever. Later and good luck.