that's not always true ya know....

today is actually our 5 year anniversary!

takin her to the casino and dogtrack tonight. they have a nice restaurant where you can eat by the window and watch the dogs race and bet while you eat. she likes to gamble. (I hate it) lol

 

dude you gotta understand that women can be more in love than ever one second, and the next they dont feel the same way anymore. i dont know what it is about them or why their emotions can just change on a whim.

same thing happened with my gf recently. she wouldve taken a bullet for me for the 2.5 years we were going out because she wouldnt want to live without me. now all of a sudden shes says she doesnt feel the same way anymore and wants "time" and she doesnt know how much. when like a week or so ago she couldnt let go of me and telling me how much she loved me when i was trying to leave her house. at first i was extremely sad and hurt but as the days go just try to realize that these things happen and it helps you take your relationships a little less for granted.

never keep someone a priority if your just an option. maybe your wife needs some time or space to realize how much you really love her and how youve never done anything to hurt her. and then she will get that feeling back that she used to feel back when you guys first met.

as men we are much better at dealing with emotional troubles so we gotta suck it up a little for the gals we care about and keep it together while they deal with their problems. just go along with everything shes saying and do what you gotta do brotha.

i really hope everything works out for you kus it was bad enough for me with my gf and we didnt even have a kid.

 

I would tell her how pretty she is every day or morning and keep reminding how much you care for her over texts on your cell phone. To show that wouldn't cheat can be hard since you haven't done anything to make it happen. Do something romantic and keep it straight forward that nothing will happen between you too now and in the past.

Sometimes women are really really hard to figure out. At times it feels like you will fight with your spouse on the stupidest things in the world.

 

Honestly you can't go by her behavior right now. Maybe Jules will jump in and back me on this but everything about your wife is skewed by her recent pregnancy and birth. Her hormones have been all over the map and prolly still are from having to share her body with another human life.

You have to give her time to settle. Her body needs to readjust after the pregnancy. Her mind needs to adjust to the new reality. And you need to become rubber: let things bounce off you till she does. Keep an eye on her emotionally, watch for signs of post marten and if things get really bad or suspicious seek medical advice first. Go to the docs before the shrinks.

 

I would think that a large part of how she feels has to do with the recent birth of your child. As others have said, maybe she's not feeling very attractive, maybe she's feeling more vulnerable now that she has a baby to take care of, she's adjusting to changes in hormone levels, etc. Make sure you're letting her know you love both her and the baby more than anything in word and deed. Spend time with both of them, jump to help her when she asks, and try to anticipate her needs.

Another factor of why she might think you're capable of cheating is because of her own past. People tend to think others are perfectly capable of the behavior they're familiar with. If she was a cheater, it would be a lot easier for her to imagine others cheating. She would understand the mentality it takes for someone to do something like that, whereas you not being that type can't figure out how she could come to that conclusion.

When you talk to her, which you should do often, always use calm tones, and always be tactfully and lovingly open and honest. I disagree with hiding things 100%. I believe that once you get to intimately know someone, they can sense when you're holding something back, and that destroys trust. If you feel things might be getting out of hand, don't hesitate to get help right away. A lot of people have a big pride thing going when it comes to counseling, but marriage and family is so much more important than pride.

Hope I've helped, and I hope things get sorted out quickly.

 

not only her past, but your past could be contributing to her suspicions... she may use her past to think that you're capable of cheating, like kowen and others have said...

but she may also think that your "lack of a past" may eventually lead you to wanting to experience more, at her expense. while you can see your minimal relationship past as a positive, she may see it as a threat, especially with all the recent changes of pregnancy and birth.

i lived with my sister when she was pregnant, and i gotta tell you, it totally messed her up for a long time. same with my brother's gf, who is currently pregnant. they will say the meanest **** you've ever heard and not even bat and eye... 9 months behaving like that probably upsets their balance for a while, just give it time.

 

Wait wait wait... she's mad because you've been with TWO girls before her and so she thinks you're a man *****?


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lol NO COMMENT!

 

Hey my girl has never been pregnant, doesn't bat an eyelash if I scope out some chica walking by and generally gives the impression she'll shatter if I look at her hard...

But once a month this timid, quiet, "will do almost anything for me" (literally) woman turns into something Satan would fear. Hormones: God's "Get out of jail" free card for women. I just , wait till it blows over and plot revenge pranks.

 

It's all about insecurity, Z. And I'm not talking about her thinking she's not hot enough anymore, etc. (although that could be a little bit of it), but I'm talking more about being newly married and having a baby. It's not only highly stressful all by itself, but there's also a lot of fear and uncertainty about what the future holds. Believe it or not, Z, you and that baby are her whole world now. Whether conscious or subconscious, I truly believe that her feelings are nothing more than fear, insecurity, stress, and anxiety about things not working out. There doesn't need to be any real rationalization.
And with emotions and hormones all over the place, this doesn't strike me as odd behavior at all.
I can guarantee you that she doesn't want to have these feelings any more than you do, and I honestly don't believe it has anything to do with projection, either. I think it's more a combination of her just being young, freaked out, and a little uncertain. It will pass, man. Just give her all the support you can.

Hell, even without all the stress of marriage and a new baby, I've seen girls (and guys) go through this same chit. It all comes back to insecurity. Sometimes it's from being cheated on, sometimes it's from low self-esteem, and sometimes it's just from putting your self and your trust into something and being afraid it's gonna fall apart. I think it's just part of growing up, and part of the natural progression of your relationship, man. Completely normal. As a little time goes by, it will fade right out. You're both gonna come out on the other side realizing it was silly and it will bring you closer together.

 

yo thats just the way girls are man my girl always thinks im out flirting and shes always texting me freaking out one day, next day shes saying she loves me. It'll all work out in the end man shes just stressed cuz of the baby