dude, we've had this discussion at my work, one guy said "you know when you go to fart and you're like" *makes fart face* "......ooohhhppp.....wait.....thatttssss not a fart" lol
they always sneak up on you, i've had a few but never anything more than a slight skid mark, nothing big

 

Did anyone else find it comical that in Woo's story they were coming back from "Hershey" park? hahahaha

 

It's where the milk chocolate flows

 

Man... I dont know why im going to do this.... but **** it...

A few years ago back when I still smoked pot. I had a drug test coming up. So the day of the test I drank like TONS of water and TONS of cranberry juice. I even puked cause I drank so much ****.. so I had to force myself to keep drinking water even after puking. On top of that the place where I had to take the test was about 45miles from my house (was getting a job out of town, they made me test in the same town of the job, sucked... but anyways.. moving on)

So half way through the car ride.. I had to take a monstrous ****! But didnt have a bottle & and I was on the freeway couldnt just pull over. So I held it til I got into the town of the test.

I immediately found the first convenient store and RAN to the bathroom to just find out its locked. I even try to woman's bathroom at this point im in so much discomfort I dont care, but the womans is locked as well.

So I look out the window and see a Fast Food joint so I dart over to the place, running straight to the Mens Bathroom and of course, ITS LOCKED!! I start pounding on the door and the dude in the ****ter gets all upset.. so I try the womans... same story, occupied.

Now I think my bladder is just going to pop. So my last option is just to go by the dumpsters behind the Fast Food restraunt... NOT forgetting to mention it is Lunch time and the parking lot is PACKED. People all over the place. **** if I care though I got to take care of business..

So I let loose... Pissing like there aint no tomorrow. Next thing I know.....

I SHART!!! and this was no skid mark shart.... this is FULL ON drank so much water and held it forever projectile ****. I just thought I had to pass a little fart no biggie..

Now here I am people everywhere... I got to be at the medical center in minutes.. im 45miles from home... and im covered in ****! Oh yea my car is in the parking lot across the street.

So half *** limp to bathroom in the place.. (yea now the guy is gone, alway my luck) I grab a massive amount of paper towels and limp back to my car.. God must of been with me this time. Because I dug around and FOUND A PAIR OF PANTS in my car... and I never have spare clothes laying around. By this point I dont give a **** and I just strip off naked in the parking lot next to my car. clean up the best I can throw on the pants and trash the mess.. and no joke people are walking all around me.. and I just played as if I was the only person in the world. MY junk hanging freely in the air. etc etc..

But I went on.... took the test... and passed! Went home and showered for atleast an hour, Got the job, made tons of money and lived happily ever after..


I called this story... My ****tiest Day Ever! Literally....

(I told all my friends the story so whats it hurt to tell some strangers, always been laughed at so hard by my friends dont think any more damage can be done)

Ok Dont flame me for the long post, or the pot use!! hehe..

 

The Fudge dragon decides it wants out ofthe cave. LMAO.. Thats gold.

Those reddish coloured things look like hot dogs, i was gonna suggest you chew your food more thoroughly...

 

ebinz "walk of shame" lmao

 

Refreshing to see all you Pants fillers finally coming out of the closet.
Just wait, the best is yet to happen. Back in 1981, I worked as an Orderly in a Government repatriation hospital in Sydney (Returned service men & women) so these people where Vets (or their surviving wifes) from the WW1 & WW2 mainly, & sh*t happened all the time. We were constantly changing beds, pants & PJ's. Cleaning floors, seats & shoes!!. Cept the poor buggers also peed themselves as well. As you get older the muscles (Mr Sphincter) that you now use you to stop that happening (except for the odd accident like you guys) gets tired so loss of control. When its really bad they fit you out with a disposable diaper, just bigger version of the ones for kids.
Not unusual to be talking to one of the old guys & Brrraaapp, 'got a present for you buddy'.
After mealtimes, most of the nurses would disappear, cause they knew what was going to happen & left the clean up to poor sods like meself.
So all you guys out there, keeping fit & exercising for muscle tone, there is one you really should be working on, eat your friggin All Bran & do your Sphincter control excercises or be prepared for a very lonely existance. Bbbrraaapp 'JEZUZ!!'.

 

haha... I was definitely OWNED

 

You guys speak of this as if it where a bad thing ... embrace the poo.

[ insert Steve Martin Dirty Rotten Scoundrel dinner table clip here that I'm too lazy to search for ]

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=na1DseY5T-M