nauree out of your 2810 posts, this may be the best one....

 

If I have it was too long ago to remember, but I know my one buddy did on a field trip. Although, the first time I busted *** on my bike going down the street it felt like I did then. I had to pull over and check real quick.

 

well were not in public hell yeah i have **** my pants, maybe not to the extent you have but i sure have.....

one of my buddies **** his pants while trying to kick a haky sack lol.

 

Haha i remember the tortures of having something wrong with u in school. If i were still in highschool i never wouldve opened my mouth about pooping my pants or they wouldve had a field day with me. Chocolate milk you are right that may have not been the #1 choice of a drink to start your day knowing later you would erupt lol.. but chocolate milk is so damn good. If my mother wouldve taken that long to put makeup on i wouldve **** in my lunch bag and wiped it on her curtains when i got home.

 

My sister pooped her pants one day when i forced her to play knee hockey with me when we were younger. Nothing like making your sister **** her pants when you slap a hacky sack right at her head.

 

I told a story about getting sick at a July 4th party, and ****ting myself awake like five times that night, but that is not my only crap yourself story. One Christmas years back, I had to go to the mall to do my shopping. It was December 23rd or something stupid and last minute like that...so I HAD to go. I had been up drinking all night the night before, and just wanted to die. The closest mall is thirty miles away in the next town over. So I am driving along, hating being alive, about half way there, and I have to fart. So I fart, and I am struck with the instantaneous horror that EVERY person feels the millisecond poo hasevacuated the bowel instead of just gas. I did not want to get **** all over my car seat, so I stiffenedup. I had to find the next exit, and drive another 15 or so miles back home...like a dead guy in rigor. ****ting yourself is a pretty helpless feeling, man. I try to keep it to a minimum!

 

well voodoochyl at least you were in your car. i sharded at work one day. i had eatten somthing that didn't aggree with me and well it happened. sad thing was not only did everyone in my shop hear the fart and how wet it was but even though there was no smell everyone just had to know what happened. luckly it was just a little bit but it sucks when there is nothing you can do.

everyone has done it before

 

So I'm coming home from a fishing trip on Lake Erie.. make it back through Indiana and at about the Illinois border I start to feel it. I think, ok I'll be fine, another 45 minutes, I can hold it. Well, turns out there was a major traffic jam due to construction that we hadn't really anticipated and that 45 minute ride turned into 3 hours. It was one of the most painful rides I've ever had. I put it up there with post surgery rides home. Worse, actually, because I'm usually drugged up a little on those. Anyways, we're like 15 minutes from home, all country driving now, and the fudge dragon decides it wants out of the cave. Oh god. I'm like 14 years old and screaming at my dad to pull over. It's like 8pm, getting dark, and I'm standing in high grass behind a speed limit sign (like thats going to hide me, hell it probably drew more attention to me cause its shiny) spraying **** all over the ditch. When I saw spraying, I mean like totally liquid, with gas mixed in, like, well, here's a picture to kind of give you an idea:

Ok, so I don't think there was blood, but it sure felt like it. I can only imagine what people were thinking as they drove by...

 

lmao, pretty funny thread so far.

when i was in hikeschool so much as taking a drink of milk in the morning was enough to almost guarantee a very inconvenient and violent bowl requirement sometime just as I was on the bus or just sitting down for 1st class and we all know no teacher's gonna let you go 3 minutes after class starts so you're in a pickle. Even so much as swallowing the least bit of toothpaste while brushing my teeth does this to me between the hours of 6 and 7am...this is prime-time get ready for school hour. I'm picky as hell when it comes to public bathrooms but not so stubborn that I wouldn't use a stall over ****ting myself completely...that's a different one, I can't let **** or **** come in contact with me or I'll flip out, I'll take my chances in the stall. Never did have an accident at school thankfully because I could always depend on the most secluded, far away restrooms available. The restrooms were in the auditorium, not the gym but a seperate auditorium specifically built for assemblies, plays, etc so it is rarely used during school hours. Totally private, clean, and always there for me in emergency situations.

I'll cave and find somewhere before I ****...knock on wood. One time my roomate was getting it on with some girl in the front room of our dorm freshman year, the bathroom is in a hallway just behind the wall with the futon he was on...I had some stomach virus and made the most godawful sounds during their intimate moment, meanwhile I was in complete discomfort but could not stop laughing at the most animated and cliche ****ting and farting noises you've ever heard in your life...I'm talking Dumb and Dumber ****ting...all within a good earshot of the two of them.

 

I really hate those moments when you are 20 minutes from home and have a slight urge that remains constant, but as soon as you are 30 seconds from home you get the urge that you can not longer hold it and every little bump seems to jar you to the point of near release and you are left darting for the porcelain throne as soon as you pull into your parking spot, leave the car door wide open as well as the front door to your home.

On the way home from Hershey park with my friends and their kids, my friend has to go to the bathroom. We are still like 20 minutes from home and he refused to pull into a gas station to go. We end up behind a slow mover and he is starting to squirm. He's like "hurry up." Frustrated that the person in front is taking their sweet old time. I asked him, "What are you prairie dogg`n?" He says, "am I what?" "Prairie dogg`n you know...think about what a prairie dog does." "This isn't funny!" So his wife and are amused and continue to razz him when he yells, "STOP IT!!! You don`t understand!!" So both she and I zip it. He pulls down a side road and sees someone outside and yells..."DAMN IT!" Then pulls down another road and pulls over...he grabs a piece of paper and darts out of the van. As soon as he is beyond us, his wife and I just lose it. I had tears streaming down I was laughing so hard. His comment, "You two busted up as soon as the door shut didn`t you." He said he near had a heartattack when he saw headlights coming towards us. He apparently squatted right behind the van.