Times when you've temporarily lost all common sense. Post up. I'll start.

Lapse Number 1:

Time: Winter, 2002.
Location: College

After a night of heavy drinking, I wake up the next morning to my roommate in the kitchen. He asks me 'dude, did you unscrew the refrigerator light bulb last night?'

I tell him 'yeah, there wasn't much room in there, and since the beer was sitting close to the bulb, i was afraid it was going to heat up the beer'.

He then says 'Um, you know the bulb always turns off when you close the door, right?'

Lapse Number 2:

Time: 5 months ago
Location: St. Croix, Virgin Islands

I'm living with my dad's best friend, Bill; a 55 year old scuba diving instructor. Everywhere I go, I'm seeing signs that say 'St. Croix, VI'

After 4 or 5 days (Yes, 4 or 5 days), I finally ask Bill 'Why is the number 6 everywhere? I see it all the time. Is 6 like the designated island number? Like the 13 original colony's?'

Bill says 'wtf are you talking about'

'The roman numeral 6? I see it everywhere. Look, here's an example. It says 'St. Croix, VI'

Bill: 'That's Virgin Islands, Veee Eyee'

Me: 'Let's never speak of this again'

Lapse Number 3:
Time: Junior Year
Location: High School, Shakespeare Class

I was the character 'Puck' in 'A Midsummer Night's Dream'. Everytime Puck had a line, I had to read it to the entire class of 30 or so. Suddenly, I came across a word I had never quite seen before. I wasn't sure what the word was, or what it ment, and I just stopped reading.

The word?

His

yes.

His.

I stuttered out the word 'Hisss' (like a hissing cat). My teacher and everyone stopped me. They all started out laughing and gave me the 'WTF' looks.


Your turn. Fess up bitches!

 

Biggest lapse ever.

Painting a bike in the garage a few years back. The place has no ventilation basically, so it is pretty damn foggy in there. Finish everything and am sitting there with my roommate and .......... light bulb on! Isn't there a pilot light on the water heater? Oh crap, should have turned that off before ....... kaboom! Jk but still could have gone bad I reckon.

 

While taking my front rim off last week, I was pulling the axle out when I realized that calipers were still mounted [:@]

 

*****!

Well my short term memory sucks so it happens a lot, I will go into a room to do something, get there and cannot remember what I was going to do. [:'(]

 

hoosier - thats when you go back to where you came from previously and try to scoop up the thought..works for me

nothing related...but i hate it when things hide in plain site..i search for 30 mins for a dam resistor on my floor...gave up and grabbed another one...now i glance down in the exact 1 foot square section i looked at for a half an hour and there it is in plain fricken sight...gahh!!![:@]

 

7 years ago. The (ex)wife is in the kitchen talking to the neighbor. I`m out back working on the deck with my Porter and Cable. I am basically studding up a support wall. I look at a knot on the baseplate and think, "Hmmmm, that might deflect the nail if I nail there, I'll just avoid it. So, I very purposely place the tip of the nailer below the knot. *Kachunk* The nail drives home. Then forgetting all logic I move the nail gun right on the knot and fire without remembering my earlier rationalizing. *Kachung* at which point I feel the knot hit my arm. I just say outloud. "Oww" but it didn`t really hurt. I look down and see the nail hanging out of my arm right as the wife says, "You OK?" "I shot myself." "You`re kidding right?" At which point I raise my arm and say "No...see?"

Since it was close to the vein, the wife (nurse) decides that it best to get X-rays instead of pulling it. So, on the way to the emergency room, I tell her, "See what I do for you to get you away from her (the neighbor)?" Only about a 1/4 inch of the nail was in my arm, but the x-ray made it look like it went straight through.

 

Ehh! That would be an awesome imgae to have a de-motivational poster about Woo

*Be aware of your target, and what is beyond*

 

Red-I do that from time to time. It works from time to time. Wait.............what was I doing again. Damn it!

 

This happens to me all the time, ill have to try to remember some good ones. Typically i just try to forget those memories lol. One my friend did

Drunk female friend passed out in my room so i carry her down to her room and put her in her bed. And her friend is freaking about how the door is going to get locked after we leave.

she says "Shes passed out so she cant lock it."

Me "No shiit" Pick up her keys and jingle them in the air.

her "but then we will have her keys and she wont be able to lock up when she goes to class tmr"

me"....Ill slide the key back under the door tard"

Her "will that work?"

Me "please quit talking"

 

My years ago when I was a 12 year old brat, I was visiting my Aunty & cousins who had just moved back home from America (cousins where born there). Any way, cousin Kenneth, who was about a year older than me, was showing off this big hunting knife (Bowie) & had spent ages sharpening it on knife block, so he reaches over & pulls a handful of my hair out, which pi**ed me off cause it hurt, so he holds up some of my hair between his thumb & forefinger & says something like 'lets see how sharp this thing is' & then lifts the knife right up in the air & swings down so that if the the knife was real sharp it would cut through the hair right? cept he slices the tip of his finger & about 2/3 off the tip of thumb. It was amazing because for about second we both just sat there looking at the bits of finger on the floor, the tip of his fingers, back down on the floor. Then suddenly all this blood just spurts out everywhere, my cousin went white & drops the knife & it falls & lands blade down in his right foot, stands upright for wot seemed for ever, then as it tipped over, cut an even bigger hole as it feel out.