Thanks, toall you guys, guess I'm a little too over the top of aworry'erDaddyfor her.She's my only little girl so I go over board in my feelings when I feel she's threatend or she's gothurt feelings. I do love her unconditionally and she knows it, she knows all she has to do is call the "Bat phone" and I'm there. Hey "HC" I know you wern't recruiting, you were just trying to help, I respect that. [sm=americanasmiley.gif]

 

It sounds like she really needs a change of environment, to get away from all the bad influences and temptation. I know people who relocated as adults, because they saw that things were getting seriously bad, andthey needed to make a big change in how they were living, and that's much harder to do when you're still surrounded by the same old people and situations.

If you're still supporting her financially, you can say you'll cut her off unless she moves. Otherwise you'll just have to pursuade her that for her own wellbeing she needs to get away from there.

 

I'm no father, your daughter's only three years younger than I am, but I may be able to offer some insight into her position. My sister is about to turn 18 and my parents got divorced when I was three or four (she was one or two) so it's a similar situation.

You're going to have to come to grips with the same thing that I see my parents dealing with. You'll always be her parent, but you're just about done parenting her. She's alwas going to be your little girl, and you'll always be her daddy, but she's nearly a full grown woman.

Now, in no way does that mean you have to stop supporting, loving, caring for, and protecting her. Your tactics just have to change. Now, She's in the driver's seat and you're a passenger. You can offer advice, but you can't drive. Basically, at this point, try to treat her as an equal and as your dearest friend, is the advice I would give.
--Acumen

 

+1 ACUMEN

 

Sounds to me like she needs a change of location and friends. I grew up in the church and went toBaptist schools and I was a ruff kid atabout 17-20. I never got in trouble,but that did not mean I was not making trouble. Now at 29 I have a good job, A degree and feel I'm a respectful person. Sometimes people justhave to out grow the crazyness. I know some people that have not out growen it and I will not hang around with them. Just let her know you are there for her and that you just want her to do good and have a good life. Don't force stuff on her, just try to help her and show her the right way. At 29 my mom still trys to force stuff on me and al it does is make me mad so don't do that.

As far as the common sense thing goes eaither you have it or you don't. My mom is a smate person, but lacks common sense LOL!

 

+1 aswell ACUMEN.

I don't fit your qualifications either but I can offer my help seeing how I'm going through the same thing with my father.

She's going to do what she's going to do. Yes it's normal to worry about the one's you love too death but she's an adult. All you can do is offer advice, be there for when she needs you (but don't aid her bad habits ..i.e if she's spending money like crazy and you've told her this then calls you up for money don't give it to her.)

"to treat her as an equal and as your dearest friend" GREAT ADVICE, Can't say it any better. Get involved with her life as a friend and less of a parenting figure.

Goodluck and I hope everything works out for the best!

 

If my dad called me a screw-up for losing one little check I wouldn't want anything to do with him.

Its okay to joke with your kids but you seem to be very serious. From reading your post I got the impression that you are sincerely dissapointed with your child, which is not cool no matter how much they screw up.

 

^^^ Sounds like you missed his point, brudda...

 

Ya sometimes its hard to convey a certain feeling over the net when all you got are the typed words and if you aint no "Hemingway" sometimes the meanings or context can be misconscrewed. I didn't mean a complete and total screw up, just maybe a test of better judgement... I feel like when she does things I'am looking at her and watching her 1st steps into the world, she had a tough start as a teenager and is a little behind on the regular schedule of teen to adult transistion, she has no drivers lic she has to take the "OCTA" bus if its farther than she can walk, sometimes its 2 or 3 diff buses to get somewhere, last spring I took her to the DMV to get a Calif ID cuz she had no drivers lic, just recently she's finally got the idea that she needs reg full time work(ya she was a little lazy) she's only worked at a Petsmart a few others that did not last more than a weeks or few days, she's at a TGIF Fridays now hosting, so that check she lost was her 1st real money in a long while and when she called me crying cuz she lost it I was a little upset for her and at her at the same time, it was frustrating to see her finally get on her feet and start some forward motion and thenlose her 1st paycheck, cuz she was looking forward to buying food for her rats and her fish, she lives at home with her mom, but her mom has cut her off some what financially, her mom treats her like she a 30 year old loser notn 18 year old who's justgot a rough start,so she has to wait till her work gets her another check, 3 to 10 days, for an 18 year old who has responsibiltys to pay for it can be rough waiting for money when you ain't got none. So I didn't mean to come of like I was calling her stupid, its just sometimes it can get frustrating. [&:]

 

Oh and to everybody......THANKS for listning