the joke thread.
#54
10-15-2008 | 03:06 PM
Joined: Sep 2007
Posts: 450
Likes: 0
From:
RE: the joke thread.
Here come some wrong ones:
Q:Why do Italian men have mustaches?
A:They want to look like their mothers.
Q:Why can't Jesus eat M&M's?
A:They fall through the holes in his hands.
Q:What's the difference between Jesus and a picture of Jesus?
A:It only takes one nail to hang a picture.
Q:What's it mean when your girl comes out of the kitchen to bitch at you?
A:There's too much slack in the chain.
Q:What does every battered woman have in common?
A:They just wouldn't listen.
Q:What's the difference between a dead baby and a large pizza?
A:I don't *** all over a pizza before I eat it.
Q:Why do Italian men have mustaches?
A:They want to look like their mothers.
Q:Why can't Jesus eat M&M's?
A:They fall through the holes in his hands.
Q:What's the difference between Jesus and a picture of Jesus?
A:It only takes one nail to hang a picture.
Q:What's it mean when your girl comes out of the kitchen to bitch at you?
A:There's too much slack in the chain.
Q:What does every battered woman have in common?
A:They just wouldn't listen.
Q:What's the difference between a dead baby and a large pizza?
A:I don't *** all over a pizza before I eat it.
#55
10-15-2008 | 03:47 PM
RE: the joke thread.
Blkout15 was a 16 year old pretending to be something he was not. The CBRForum investigators exposed his every lie and lack of real knowledge. Even after he admitted he was a wannabe and was given an opportunity gather knowledge he still turned out to be an idiot. Hence the very mention of his logon is a joke. Okay?
#56
10-15-2008 | 04:40 PM
Senior Member
Joined: Sep 2008
Posts: 351
Likes: 1
From: Old Hickory, Tennessee
RE: the joke thread.
There was this guy who always went out drinking with his friends. He would always come home very late. One night, while he was at the bar he told them his secret for being able to sneak in late.
"When I walk in the house, before the wife can say anything, I lay her down, take off her panties, and give her the best oral sex she's ever had, until she has such an orgasm that she falls into a deep sleep. Then, I wash up and go to bed. By morning, she is so pleased, she doesn't care what time I came home."
One of his friends thinks this is a great idea. So he stays out late, comes home, sneaks into the bedroom, gives his wife the best oral sex she's ever had, and goes to wash up. His wife walks into the bathroom, obviously upset that he's home so late.
"Hey, why aren't you sleeping?" he asks.
"I was was, but I came in to tell you that we've got to sleep on the couch tonight, 'cause my mother is sleeping in our bedroom."
-
This one also isn't a joke, but if you have a kid who's a teenager it's awesome.
Dad: Hey, I bet I can make a match burn twice.
Me: Yeah, you'll set it alight again with a lighter or something.
Dad: Nope, just using the match I'll make it burn twice.
Me: Okay, show me.
Dad: *lights the match* That's one.
Me: Uh-huh...
Dad: *blows out the match then touches it to my arm*
"And that's twice!"
-
Q. Why Wasn't Christ Born In Mexico?
A. Because They Couldn't Find Three Wise Men And A Virgin.
-
One day, an older woman in her 60s was cleaning out her closet from top to bottom because she hadn't done so since she could rememberand she felt it was time to get rid of what they didn't need and tidy up. So, in the process of cleaning out the closet, she came across a wooden box waaaay up at the top of some other boxes on the top shelf, and being naturally curiousshe opened it and peeked inside.
Much to her confusion, she found a stack of cash totaling around a thousand dollars and a lone egg. Knowing she hadn't placed them there, she decided to take them downstairs and ask her husband what this was all about when he got home from work.
Later that day, the husband arrived home, walked in the door, and saw his wife sitting on the couch with the box in hand. A worried look crossed his face. The woman stood up and said, "Frank...what is the meaning of this box with $1000 dollars and an egg inside of it? I found it cleaning out the closet today."
Frank slowly sat down and said to his wife, "Honey, I've got some things I need to tell you. You see, I wasn't always faithful to you in all these years we were married. I felt so guilty, when I slept with a woman I placed an egg in that box to remind me of my cheating ways."
The wife looked shocked a moment, then her face slowly relaxed and she finally said to her husband, "Well Frank, we've been married these long years and you ARE a man after all, so I guess one egg for a woman isn't so bad. I forgive you honey."
Remembering something else, she turned back to Frank and asked him where the thousand dollars came from. Frank shamefully turned to his wife and said, "Whenever I got a dozen eggs I sold them."
"When I walk in the house, before the wife can say anything, I lay her down, take off her panties, and give her the best oral sex she's ever had, until she has such an orgasm that she falls into a deep sleep. Then, I wash up and go to bed. By morning, she is so pleased, she doesn't care what time I came home."
One of his friends thinks this is a great idea. So he stays out late, comes home, sneaks into the bedroom, gives his wife the best oral sex she's ever had, and goes to wash up. His wife walks into the bathroom, obviously upset that he's home so late.
"Hey, why aren't you sleeping?" he asks.
"I was was, but I came in to tell you that we've got to sleep on the couch tonight, 'cause my mother is sleeping in our bedroom."
-
This one also isn't a joke, but if you have a kid who's a teenager it's awesome.
Dad: Hey, I bet I can make a match burn twice.
Me: Yeah, you'll set it alight again with a lighter or something.
Dad: Nope, just using the match I'll make it burn twice.
Me: Okay, show me.
Dad: *lights the match* That's one.
Me: Uh-huh...
Dad: *blows out the match then touches it to my arm*
"And that's twice!"
-
Q. Why Wasn't Christ Born In Mexico?
A. Because They Couldn't Find Three Wise Men And A Virgin.
-
One day, an older woman in her 60s was cleaning out her closet from top to bottom because she hadn't done so since she could rememberand she felt it was time to get rid of what they didn't need and tidy up. So, in the process of cleaning out the closet, she came across a wooden box waaaay up at the top of some other boxes on the top shelf, and being naturally curiousshe opened it and peeked inside.
Much to her confusion, she found a stack of cash totaling around a thousand dollars and a lone egg. Knowing she hadn't placed them there, she decided to take them downstairs and ask her husband what this was all about when he got home from work.
Later that day, the husband arrived home, walked in the door, and saw his wife sitting on the couch with the box in hand. A worried look crossed his face. The woman stood up and said, "Frank...what is the meaning of this box with $1000 dollars and an egg inside of it? I found it cleaning out the closet today."
Frank slowly sat down and said to his wife, "Honey, I've got some things I need to tell you. You see, I wasn't always faithful to you in all these years we were married. I felt so guilty, when I slept with a woman I placed an egg in that box to remind me of my cheating ways."
The wife looked shocked a moment, then her face slowly relaxed and she finally said to her husband, "Well Frank, we've been married these long years and you ARE a man after all, so I guess one egg for a woman isn't so bad. I forgive you honey."
Remembering something else, she turned back to Frank and asked him where the thousand dollars came from. Frank shamefully turned to his wife and said, "Whenever I got a dozen eggs I sold them."
#57
10-15-2008 | 04:45 PM
Senior Member
Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 5,844
Likes: 1
From: South Texas
RE: the joke thread.
ORIGINAL: thrasher572
Blkout15 was a 16 year old pretending to be something he was not. The CBRForum investigators exposed his every lie and lack of real knowledge. Even after he admitted he was a wannabe and was given an opportunity gather knowledge he still turned out to be an idiot. Hence the very mention of his logon is a joke. Okay?
Blkout15 was a 16 year old pretending to be something he was not. The CBRForum investigators exposed his every lie and lack of real knowledge. Even after he admitted he was a wannabe and was given an opportunity gather knowledge he still turned out to be an idiot. Hence the very mention of his logon is a joke. Okay?